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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

feeling very very UPSET

73 replies

feelingreallyupset · 08/02/2007 17:48

i could post under feeling depressed topic but i dont think i am depressed.
i have a 6 yr old dd which i am having problems with.
i am lone parent after domestic violence couple of years ago.
i feel like i am at the end with her.
i tried everything in the book, nothing works.
she is destroying me.
either i will have cancer or something else or i will lose her to foster care something.
i feel like a loser, i tried my hardest really, nothing works.
i am crying since yesterday, i dont see any way out.

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alipiggie · 08/02/2007 17:50

Please please go and see your gp and talk through this with them or someone else you can trust in rl. There is a great course running over here in the US called Love and Logic which helps parents deal with all kinds of difficult situations. See if there's something similar near you. I'm guessing that your dd is picking on you because she's feeling vunerable too as you are. More likely than not you both need help. You're not alone please take care. Not much useful to say other than I didn't want this to go un-noticed.

3sEnough · 08/02/2007 17:50

Poor lass - please do talk to your friends and family if they can help and definately your GP to see if there is any parenting advice out there for you. The school should also be able to help you - sorry I can't be of more use. Hugs and prayers to you x

pinkchampagne · 08/02/2007 17:55

Definitely talk to family or friends & see if you can get some kind of help. Also, please go & see your GP.
You may not be depressed, but you do sound like you are very very stressed & children seem to play up more when they know we are stressed.
Please try & get yourself some help.xx

pinkchampagne · 08/02/2007 17:57

What kind of problems are you having with DD?

Original poster
feelingreallyupset · 08/02/2007 18:00

i am tired of telling my problems to pediatricians, teachers, gp, friends.
i dont have energy left to go over all again and again.
its been on my mind long time, trying to find a way to make things better, nothing works.
once i had a good career, now i am losing my life nearly.

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Original poster
feelingreallyupset · 08/02/2007 18:04

in the past i have posted here what she was doing.
now i am in different nickname.
some of the things she done are a bit specific.
i dont want to be found out.
so i cant go in details.
basically, she ignores me, nothing works.
and she put me in very very diffcult situations which i didnt deserve, and got very upset.
she didnt get the lesson and did it again.
i cant take it anymore.

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Original poster
feelingreallyupset · 08/02/2007 18:08

she doesnt have any idea what will happen to her if she loses me.
if it were you would you explain to yr dc what would happen to them.
she has no idea.
and i am finishing.

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pinkchampagne · 08/02/2007 18:10

What do you mean when you say you are finishing?

pinkchampagne · 08/02/2007 18:16

Do you get any time out?

Original poster
feelingreallyupset · 08/02/2007 18:17

sorry pinkchampagne,
i tried to mean that i am feeling like i am at the end.

OP posts:
Original poster
feelingreallyupset · 08/02/2007 18:21

i dont have time out, i cant have it.
when she goes to school i try to sort out things, when she is with me i am focused on her-what we have to do together.
i cant have my own time.
last year i took her to holiday, it was a disaster for me. i was like a pool guard over there, watching her all the time. i dont want to go any where with her now.
even going to a shop is getting my nerves on.

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Original poster
feelingreallyupset · 08/02/2007 18:22

thats a horrible life style, i cant go on like this anymore i think.

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pinkchampagne · 08/02/2007 18:23

Poor you I really really feel for you.
I am soon to be a lone parent & wonder how on earth I will cope, as my two can be very challanging at times & seem to listen to their father more than they do me, so I can empathise a bit.
Have you tried the positive behaviour methods, like marble jars, sticker charts etc?

pinkchampagne · 08/02/2007 18:28

Have you spoken to anyone at your DD's school?
If things are really bad, you can get referred on to behaviour specialists, even social services may be able to provide help for you.

Original poster
feelingreallyupset · 08/02/2007 18:29

i feel like i cant try anything anymore pinkchampagne

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Original poster
feelingreallyupset · 08/02/2007 18:33

i am scared of social services.
i had some bad experinces in some other units before, so it is scaring me.
i rang my family abroad and told them things not good here. i informed them so they wont be surprised-shocked if something happens.
nothing can be done anymore.

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pinkchampagne · 08/02/2007 18:34

I am assuming that you have tried things in the past, which maybe haven't worked, am I right here?

You sound like you are at your wits end & very stressed.
I really think you could do with some help of some kind here.

pinkchampagne · 08/02/2007 18:36

Have you not got any family nearby, or even some good friends who could give you a bit of a break from time to time?

Original poster
feelingreallyupset · 08/02/2007 18:36

we had been referred to behaviour specialists and we are working together. but i think some basic problems wont be solved because i think they depend on our conditions which cant be changed.

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Original poster
feelingreallyupset · 08/02/2007 18:39

i cant get help from friends, i cant dare, they know her very well, i dont believe they can stand her.
i invited them, they came, but they never invited back.

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mamama · 08/02/2007 18:40

I'm sorry you're feeling so upset. It sounds as though things are very hard for you. Even if you don't think you are depressed, it might still be a good idea to talk to your GP - they may be able to suggest some help for you. There are also things like Surestart who can provide someone to help you out at home, I think. I don't know much about that though.

Are there any MNers near you who could help you out?

In the meantime, keep posting on here.

Can you give us any idea of the problems with your dd without giving away your identity?

pinkchampagne · 08/02/2007 18:42

Have DD's problems started since/as a result of your relationship break up?

mamama · 08/02/2007 18:42

Behaviour specialists will be able to help you, I'm sure even if some things can't be changed. They can help you and your dd cope with them together. Don't give up hope.

Is there any support at DD's school?

pinkchampagne · 08/02/2007 18:45

How is DD at school? Do her teachers have problems with her, or is it just with you at home?
It may be an idea to speak to the SENCO at the school.

Original poster
feelingreallyupset · 08/02/2007 18:47

if i tell what she is doing and upsetting me i will be found out easily if somebody from that environment is here.
anyway i cant go really about them.
and i know you cant help me if you dont know.
at least i told everything maybe this will help me a bit.
thanks for reading and your advices, really.

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