My feed
Premium
Please
or
to access all these features

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

feeling very very UPSET

73 replies

feelingreallyupset · 08/02/2007 17:48

i could post under feeling depressed topic but i dont think i am depressed.
i have a 6 yr old dd which i am having problems with.
i am lone parent after domestic violence couple of years ago.
i feel like i am at the end with her.
i tried everything in the book, nothing works.
she is destroying me.
either i will have cancer or something else or i will lose her to foster care something.
i feel like a loser, i tried my hardest really, nothing works.
i am crying since yesterday, i dont see any way out.

OP posts:
Report
colditz · 09/02/2007 08:34

Your 6 year old seems to be under huge amounts of pressure in her life. I think you need to concentrate on getting her life as stable and routine as possible, and then you may see some change in her behavior. A lot of bad behavior is caused by insecurity. And if she sees you crying a lot, and you are telling her things like 'Nobody is here to look after you except me, so don't get any ideas about uncles', and she has had a life with domestic violence ... she is going to be insecure.

I think maybe you should think about the fact that everything that has happened to you in the past 6 years has also happened to her. She hasn't been the cause of it, she has been the victim of it.

plus, a six year old being what they are, if you cry a lot, she might start doing things just to see what makes tyou cry!

Report
colditz · 09/02/2007 08:36

What did she do that upset you and embarrassed you, by the way? Maybe some people here would have a way of dealing with that behavior that might work?

Report
feelingreallyupset · 09/02/2007 10:19

thanks very much colditz,
i will see gp today soon, i got an appointment.
she has to come with me because there is nobody to leave her with.
i would like to tell here to you what she did in school or at home, but as i told before i cant go so specific details i prefer not to be found out, but i may say, if somebody else were in my position and some people already told me in fact, they cant take that much.
it is so hard.
i am trying not belame her and i have a nature who belames myself first (unfortunately), and her b specialist says i am doing right, teaching her everything necessary, and its not my fault, but the problem is still there, and why is it still going on like that?
we have nobody and no emotional support thats so hard i guess, maybe she is bored of me and i am bored of her.
i dont know.

OP posts:
Report
colditz · 09/02/2007 10:24

Could be, if you are spending a vast amount of time together, it would produce a very intense relationship between you.

how about sending her to brownies or something, and having that time as time to treat yourself, not to sort anything out?

Report
pinkchampagne · 09/02/2007 10:28

Look into some after school clubs for her. Brownies (might be Rainbows if she is 6) is an excellent idea. It will give you a bit of time out & your DD will probably really enjoy it!

Report
feelingreallyupset · 09/02/2007 10:30

brownies?

OP posts:
Report
colditz · 09/02/2007 10:33

Sorry are you in the UK?

Report
themildmanneredjanitor · 09/02/2007 10:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

feelingreallyupset · 09/02/2007 10:36

school closed, we went there and had to come back, at door written its closed.
we are in london.

OP posts:
Report
feelingreallyupset · 09/02/2007 10:39

have to go now, thanks for advices, really.

OP posts:
Report
feelingreallyupset · 09/02/2007 13:47

i am back to give an update:
we went to gp, she went to another room with another gp.
i told her everything that happened and the methods we tried.
she says that i am a very strong person who could stand that much, and she wouldnt be able to do it herself.
but she says that my dd is also a very strong personality, and very clever, bright to know how to wind me up very well.
we thought what we can do, and to strenghten me again she gave me an AD. and she found her situation unusual, she said she will think about it and contact us.
she didnt find me depressed.

OP posts:
Report
pinkchampagne · 09/02/2007 13:52

Well done for going to the GP! I am glad they were helpful.
The ADs may really help you. They are not just for depression, but also help with anxiety.

Report
feelingreallyupset · 09/02/2007 14:04

thank you very much pinkchampagne
i hope everything will be allright.
i want a happy life.

OP posts:
Report
pinkchampagne · 09/02/2007 14:09

You're seeking help now, which is a massive step! Well done!
I hope things get better for you soon. Take good care.x

Report
mamama · 09/02/2007 14:47

I am very glad to read the updates on here - you really did the right thing seeing the GP and I'm glad they were able to help. DO look into brownies/ rainbows - it would be good for both of you.

Are there other activities you could do, where DD would be focused on something else? Like going to the library? Can you take her to the park so she can run around and give you a little bit of space. I know it's very hard to be alone with a LO all day every day.

Take Care

Report
ThisValenTime · 09/02/2007 19:35

How has the rest of your day gone today?

Report
ThisValenTime · 09/02/2007 19:35

How has the rest of your day gone today?

Report
glitterfairy · 12/02/2007 07:17

How was the weekend fellingreallyupset? How are you?

Report
survivour · 12/02/2007 07:49

FRU, I have just read this, and I really feel for you. But at 6 years old, she probably dosen't understand what you are going through. My youngest of 3, is now 4 1/2 years old, He was born at 34 weeks. We have had his intestines put back in his belly at day 5. At 6 1/2 months he had open heart surgery for 4 defects of the heart (TOFS). He has overlapping toes on both feet, he also suffered a facial stroke, and Great Ormond street is saying he could have Di-George Syndrome. This was all in his first year. My child is under SENCO at school and in reception, things got so bad, they said they only wanted him 3 mornings a week. I refused and said by law he was entitled to full time education, and the school backed down. My child is a handfull. At times I can't sit, sleep or rest, it feels like it is never ending. I am a diabetic on insulin, and now have neuropathy, the stresses of the last for years have taken it out of me, I also have a brain tumor. I am a single parent of 3 boys. My 12 and 10 year old boys know about my tumor, but we always look forward and don't think about the worst. I have no intention of dying and leaving my boys to cope on there own. Tomorrow is always a new day, get up and try something each day. Where abouts in London are you I am willing to find you and give you moral support, going by your postings , you need alot of it... Keep posting.

Report
lora1 · 12/02/2007 08:57

you are a hero survivour, and a star, i think you are a very exceptional person.
i wish you all the best in your lives.

Report
feelingreallyupset · 13/02/2007 07:09

hi everyone,
sorry i am being late to give update.
i am trying to do my best, still thinking why things are like that, what can be done.
after half term i will see gp again as we have agreed.
btw survivour, i think i am near you.
thanks to all of you for your support.

OP posts:
Report
glitterfairy · 13/02/2007 12:19

FRU take care of yourself and hope the Ads start to kick in this week.

Survivour sounds amazing.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Pinkchampagne · 13/02/2007 12:34

Well done, FRU, you are doing really well!

Survivor - you're amazing!

Report
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.