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Lone parents

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Original poster

I've almost done it

8 replies

wirral · 30/01/2007 11:37

Have been dreading this week. It's the first time that my ex has had our daughter for 2 overnights mid week. I dropped her off at school yesterday and wont see her until after school Wednesday. I've been so so worried about this but have almost survived it. Now just have the half term to get over. Do you think I'm mad? I read about single parents who would love their ex to take their children off their hands for a bit but I just HATE not being with our daughter

OP posts:
youfillmylittleworldrightup · 30/01/2007 11:45

i know the feeling and youre not alone. took me a while to get used to them being away now and then. for me now tho is the other way. ex hardly has them stay over and never mid meek. kids seem to get used to it all far quicker than we do - which can only be good.

mistressmiggins · 30/01/2007 11:47

no not mad at all but one year down the line, I do agree that it is good to ahve a break & time for yourself.
being soley responsible for a little one is hard work mentally & physically and the couple of nights off will recharge your batteries

also when she comes back, you will be so overjoyed

I do understand but it will get easier & you & your DD need you to be refreshed

mylittlestar · 30/01/2007 11:48

Oh that sounds so hard
I know exactly how you feel.

I think it's fantastic that you feel so close to your dd but you obviously love her enough to also give her the time to spend with her father.

Use the time on your own to pamper yourself and do the things you can't do when dd is around.
Hopefully a couple of little breaks like this will just make the time that you and dd have together so much more special.
You sound like a wonderful mum.

brightwell · 30/01/2007 11:51

I used to dread my dc being away overnight, not knowing what they were doing, eating if they were happy etc etc. It's 8 years since I split with ex, they go to their dad alternate weekends which is fine ( I look forward to child free weekends, they tend to pick & chose when they go now) and they also go for 2 one week holiday with him during the year,which I find hard, after 3 night's i really miss them. I hope you're planning to do something nice with your time, even if it's just a long bath & a dvd.

Original poster
wirral · 30/01/2007 13:51

Thanks all. I just wish that I felt better about this. I know that if she comes back happy I need to realise that this has been the best thing to do. In the main he will be having her overnight 2 nights a week and half the school holidays. I know that I should try to do nice things for myself but just end up spending all my time under the duvet when at home. At least I am in work during the week.

I can't agree that I am a good Mum , daughter really disappoints me that she is willing to go and stay.

I hate that this is now my life and can't think of one single thing to cheer myself up!

OP posts:
mistressmiggins · 30/01/2007 19:43

Dont be silly - you arent a bad mum cos you're disappointed - of course it hurts that she wants to willingly leave you...BUT you should feel proud that she obviously feels a) secure to leave knowing shes coming home & b) secure that she feels able to show how happy she is to be with you both.

I know how hard it is especially when your ex (like mine) left your family for another woman. It hurts like hell that the woman who helped break up your marriage is now playing happy families with your child

I agree that its shit that life is like this

Harra · 30/01/2007 20:24

Hi Wirral,
I hate it when my xp has our ds. Xp has a great relationship with ds, but for the 2 hours or so before ds goes I'm in a bad mood and hate it when he is not with me. I just try and think about ds first and know that him having a good relationship with his father is for the best. Ds is often quite clingy with xp when he comes back. Sounds like you are doing a great job and it is thanks to you that your dd is happy to go.
I'm sure in the future we will love to have free evenings but I do really understand how you feel.

mistressmiggins · 30/01/2007 21:05

AND look at it this way - I am going abroad for a girly weekend and I dont have to worry about asking "DH" or offering favours - I just TOLD exH that he was having the children for once

so the children get to spend a week with "fun time daddy" and I get a few days to recharge

one day you may meet a new bloke & will be able to have some adult-only time knowing your DD is with her dad

every cloud has a silver lining

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