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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

showering tips

16 replies

MrsDeathOfRats · 03/06/2016 23:43

Sounds stupid but showering... Just when??

STBXH hasn't moved out yet so I grab a shower when he comes in from work.
However, once he does move out I can only really see it being an evening thing which I don't want it to be.

I have Dd (4) and DS (21 months). I was securing them in high chairs (DS anyway) (and the type which converts into a table and chair but still with straps IYSWIM) but then one day DS arrived in the bathroom whilst I was showering. He had just climbed out of his straps and was extremely pleased with himself.

I tried doing it when he naps but Dd won't stay in the living room, and it's a small flat so DS gets disturbed.

It's gonna be a bedtime thing isn't it?
Once Dd is in school I can shower during nap time so I guess that's not that far away but between now and then we have summer(!!) coming maybe not as this is England and I'd like to be showered in the morning before we go out.

Any lone parenting tips?? Tia

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

dementedpixie · 03/06/2016 23:44

Stick ds in his cot?

dementedpixie · 03/06/2016 23:46

Shut them in the bathroom with you? If it is an upstairs bathroom put a stair gate at the top of the stairs so they can be upstairs but not contained in one room

MimsyBorogroves · 03/06/2016 23:47

I suppose it depends how horrendously early your children get up Can you fit in a quick scrub before they're out of bed? Even if you do your hair on a night, and just have a freshen up for a minute or two in a morning. Do you have a tablet, or a smart phone? For the sake of no stress, you could always pop 4 year old in front of TV for 5 minutes and take youngest into the bathroom with you with laptop/phone - youngest watches a cartoon on YouTube. Or strapped in chair in bathroom so you can be seen, and sing songs?

Akire · 03/06/2016 23:51

Stick a gate or lock on bathroom door. Make sure nothing dangerous let him play with toy. Quick jump in mummy's just washing her hair. Mummy's just washing her legs etc. Only takes a few mintuees even if he's moaning at you to get out. Would he go in shower with you?

Lurkedforever1 · 03/06/2016 23:51

Hair washing, leg shaving etc once they're in bed at night. Mornings or any other time, take ds in the bathroom and let him play on the floor while you have a quick shower. Tell dd about how big and grown up she is, so unlike baby ds she can either do a big girl activity sat in another room, or give her toys a wash in the sink in the bathroom. With the rule she mustn't open the door because ds isn't big like her.

Muddlingalongalone · 03/06/2016 23:52

I just shut the other doors so that they can only be either on the landing with toys or in the bathroom with me. DD1 is 5 so can be in her room and providing I move her chair & table so that Dd2 (19 months) can't climb.
But I also shower in the morning & leave Dd2 in my bed if as usual she's joined me in the night. I have to say I'm more comfortable if Dd2 is awake and lying next to her on ipad but needs must & Dd2 always gets down off the bed backwards - there are pillows down the side just in case though.

Muddlingalongalone · 03/06/2016 23:53

Oops DD1 lying watching ipad supervising dd2

wiltingfast · 03/06/2016 23:58

I used to bring them in with me. It only took me a few mins really. Or do it when baby sleeping then it was just the toddler they feckin still think it's fine to sit and watch me shower though at 5 &7

Original poster

MrsDeathOfRats · 04/06/2016 00:04

Bathroom has a non lockable bi-fold door so DS would simply run away!!

Dd I'm not so worried about. Stick tinkerbell on and she wouldn't notice I've left the room!!

Give DS something like phone/iPad etc he will try to flush it. He can open doors so nowhere is really off limits. He would climb out of his cot.

would it be bad parenting to duck tape him to a wall for 5 mins

OP posts:

Original poster

MrsDeathOfRats · 04/06/2016 00:06

DS co sleeps with me and I can't get up early without him noticing!

He doesn't so much co-sleep as sleep on me. Usually my head or face. Usually with his bum.

OP posts:

justabigdisco · 04/06/2016 00:10

Stick telly on for DD while DS naps. Jobs a goodun

Muddlingalongalone · 04/06/2016 00:10

I think your ds must be giving my dd tips. Woke up with her foot next to my mouth yesterday morning.
Is your shower over a bath? Could he sit and play with bath toys in the bath while you shower. Bit of a faff having to get him dry as well but better than nothing?
Playpen/travel cot?

Original poster

MrsDeathOfRats · 04/06/2016 00:28

My Dd is a funny little person. She tries extremely hard to be good and helpful. And wants me to know how good and helpful she is being.
So if I put to on while DS is napping and ask her to stay in the living room, she will stay there, then after a minute or 2 she will open the door and either come into the bathroom or simply tell from the living room door way that she is still there and everything is ok mummy..... So that's the issue with nap time showers!! She won't stay in the room!

With DS, I could take him in with me but chances are he would kill us both. He'd pull on the curtain and play with the taps. Want the curtain open, pull on the shower hose. Want to move from end to end and I would be in the way in the middle....

I couldn't leave Dd 'in charge' of him cos she would take it very seriously and he would simply bulldoze her out the way and do whatever he liked while she wails thinking she will be in trouble cos she didn't stop him doing xyz!

OP posts:

Lurkedforever1 · 04/06/2016 09:38

Assuming the doors stop you putting up a normal gate, could you put something like a fixed fire guard around the door to keep him in?

Original poster

MrsDeathOfRats · 04/06/2016 10:58

I could install gates in door way.
I'm not sure I trust DS in the bathroom while I'm in the shower though.
He is a little bugger for trouble.
I can see toilet roll in the loo and sink. Taps on, multiple flushes. Anything and everything down the toilet. Pushing the curtain in on me. General screaming and mayhem while I try to wash.

Maybe I'll have to try distracting him with some food or something. Trouble is he eats so fast. It always appears he is scared someone will steal his food STBXH would and has done so this isn't unfounded

Thanks for replies. I'll find a way.
I hate flannel washes at the sink but it may be the way forward for the foreseeable

DS starts nursery in January (hopefully) so then I'll have a little bit of alone time back and can shower/bath/sleep/clean in peace

OP posts:

Lurkedforever1 · 04/06/2016 11:50

Have some special toys that only come out while you're showering so they'll interest him. Doing similar was one of the few ways of getting on with some tasks when dd was little. Something like those bath crayons for drawing on tiles if they still make them. Or a spray bottle with water in if he can use one, just move the loo roll. Or a pound shop noisy toy that will distract him. Dd also used to like cleaning, just gave her a well wrung out damp cloth and left her to smear it round the walls. And often just something from another room, like pans and a wooden spoon on the floor.

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