to be so scared?

[redsky21]

Hi all, long time lurker here.

My partner and I have decided to separate in the new year. It's all very amicable and what we both want, but I just feel so scared.

I already had a son from a previous relationship and when we got together I fell pregnant with my daughter very quickly, hence us staying together for as long as we have, I doubt the relationship would have lasted otherwise.

So we've decided to go our separate ways, which I really think is for the best. But I'm really worried about how I'm going to cope.

Also, we rent a house together and when he leaves I'm going to need to claim housing benefit. I'm so worried that the landlord might say no to this and that me and my children might end up with nowhere to live, I just don't know what we would do.

Sorry for rambling, my heads a bit of a mess

YANBU, of course you're not, deciding to separate is always going to be scary regardless of the reasons why.

It's 'good' that you have a bit of time to start working out the fine details before it happens, the hardest part is getting your head round your new situation, but again, it's good you have time on your side to work through things.

How will it be over Christmas if you both know what's coming up?

can't comment on your situation, but would say if the council offers you ANYTHING then take it, even if it's completely inadequate. Because if you say 'no' they'll regard you as "voluntarily homeless" and will discharge all responsibility.

So if they offer you something miles away from where you live, or if it means someone sleeping in the living room - TAKE IT!!!

You can always then do a swap.

DO NOT SAY NO to ANYTHING the council offers you - I have families i work with sleeping in the local travel lodge FOR YEARS,and it's horrendous.

I hope this is the case for you, but it's possible you might even be relieved when the time comes, having to wait must be awful.

YANBU, Try and find all the help you can and work things out amicably with your partner in terms of contact wit the children.

You can get the housing benefit paid straight to your bank. The LL wouldn't have to know that your financial circumstances have changed.
And it is pretty scary, but you'll be ok.

Thankyou for the replies.

Christmas will be ok I think, we're actually getting on much better now that we've made the decision! But you're right, I will be relieved once he's gone and I can get on with sorting my life out. He's not a bad man and is a lovely dad, we just don't have alot in common and have alot of different views on things. With hindsight, we were never well suited and should never have got into a relationship.

I think its the housing benefit thing that is worrying me most I know some landlords don't accept it but I'm hoping that because we're already in the house it would be more hassle for him to evict us and find new tenants. If its a case of him not being able to because of insurance, do you think he could change insurance and just put the rent up a bit? Not really sure how these things work.

Feel a bit selfish just worrying about the money side of things. I just want to know that me and the children will get by. My partner will be contributing also once he's moved out but to be honest I know he's not going to be able to afford alot.

Forgot to add I've read through our tenancy agreement (which was written up by the agency, however we only deal directly with the landlord now) and it just says 'you must inform us if you start to claim housing benefit.'

Bump

Id go with what gobby says, make a claim for housing benefit, get it paid directly into your bank. Landlords none the wiser.

The thing is, the tenancy agreement is in both our names. Would it need to just be in my name to get housing benefit?

Just be aware housing benefit can take a while to be awarded and they pay it in arrears would you be able to cover the rent until it's sorted?

Thankyou, I have claimed before about 10 years ago but can't remember how long it took to start getting payments. I do have a large overdraft and as much as I'd like to avoid using it, I could pay the rent for up to 3 months if necessary.

Bumping, any advice appreciated.