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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

I take my hat off to you all

13 replies

Whoami24601 · 22/11/2015 08:14

This weekend DH has been on a stag do. I am knackered! 2 days of night feeds and getting up in the morning. Only me to feed/ clothe/ entertain the children. How the fuck do people do this long term??? I have a new respect for all you guys doing this all the time. I'm sorry I ever doubted how hard it is! There's no point to this post really, except to say well done all of you!

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RabbitSaysWoof · 22/11/2015 08:20

That's a nice post. When my ds's df has to work away and he can't have he's two days with him that he usually has, I get the same admiration for the marrieds who don't have two days a week off ever unless it's pre arranged and they are going away somewhere.
I think the real heros are the marrieds and lone parents with no help at all.

Aoifebell · 22/11/2015 08:50

That is a nice post. I think I just crack on with it because I have no choice and it's only ever been me and DD so I've known no different. Would love someone to take her today though as I am dying of flu

starlight2007 · 22/11/2015 17:46

Thank you...It is a lovely post..I found it harder dealing with my abusive ex and my DS...Take him out the picture and it is easier.. It is exhausting though but it also gets easier when night feeds stop..

Illness and children is equally awful Aoifebell hope you feel better. I also agree though if I don't do it no one does.

Raising my child is the bit I love not really been able to out , go to a fitness class, I tried SW with DS but didn't work..

We all have our own struggles it is lovely when someone acknowledges yours.. You post has really lifted my spirits..

CalypsoLilt · 23/11/2015 08:25

I take my hat off to ladies who work right up to their due dates..... I'm 28 weeks and I'm ready to finish work, luckily enough I get to finish at 32 weeks but I have no idea how women keep on going! (Maybe it's because I'm single and doing all the house stuff/getting ready for baby on my own with SPD that I'm not coping!?? Oh crap how am I going to cope with a newborn?!)

LouisaGlasson · 24/11/2015 10:14

That's a lovely post. Hope you're feeling better Aoife, the worst time is when you're feeling rough.

It's nothing like being married and your partner being away though! So many lp's are doing it all, including providing financially single handedly. They have the support of a partner over the phone and a known end point to holding the fort on their own.

Original poster

Whoami24601 · 24/11/2015 11:34

That was my point Louisa! I've only done a tiny portion of what a LP does this weekend, and I am so tired!

OP posts:

LouisaGlasson · 24/11/2015 11:45

Oooh - you do know I was responding to Rabbit's post? Your post was lovely. How's your dh? Hanging and still no help?!

Original poster

Whoami24601 · 24/11/2015 13:14

Oh sorry I thought that was to me apologies if I sounded grumpy!

No, he's fine. The swine appears to not suffer from hangovers at all, never has! Can't knock him really- he came home, helped with the kids and bought me takeaway so I wouldn't have to cook

OP posts:

LouisaGlasson · 24/11/2015 13:21

It's ok! . Hang onto him, he sounds like one of the good guys.

Original poster

Whoami24601 · 24/11/2015 15:55

He definitely is don't feel like I can say that too much IRL as all my friends are all moaning about their DH/DP. Feels a bit like bragging to say that I got one of life's gooduns!

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RabbitSaysWoof · 25/11/2015 21:33

I'm not married I am a LP, I just ment sometimes I feel like I have more space than some of my married friends, I admire them that their dc never go to the other parents for a day or two, they don't always get the same recharge, and it goes without saying the LP's who have no support.

alicemalice · 28/11/2015 20:47

I get really tired, but I do also get more time off than married friends, eg every other weekend.

Flowerpower41 · 30/11/2015 05:24

I have no time off any longer as ds's dad got violent but he still pays maintenance and we will visit his family twice a year for a long weekend together.

I can honestly say I find this arrangement suits me fine as ds is now nearly 11 and far more mature. He likes his own space in the home a lot more. The main struggle is getting him to do his housework properly but I am very proactive on that.

I don't feel lonely at all thanks to a spiritual group I joined 6 years ago and I would never crave a live in partner in a hurry again.

I am far more content making my own decisions and feel stronger than I ever did when living with a partner.

Sorry about all the 'I's'!

I really don't find it a problem. I also have no family support so it does stitch up my finances with the endless childcare but I have very happy childcare arrangements that ds enjoys greatly i.e. school club childminder and leisure centre and they all work out great.

I think it depends on how old your children are and if you find you enjoy your own company. Of course it was way harder when he was a baby and a toddler and the early years of school.....

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