Tell me it gets easier...

[postlady11]

Hi all. Looking for some support. Second night in a new house me and my ds1. On fairly amicable terms with stbxh so been visiting him there in our 'old house'. Ds1 finding it hard to settle in his new room. He's only 4. Shouting out 'I want to go back to my old house'. 'I don't want to sleep here'. He is really happy here in the day and actually asking to go to the new house and play etc. but at night he's upset. It's breaking my heart as I want to go back to the old house too, but me and my stbxh can't work it out. Any tips on what to say to my ds1. Or just any words of support that it does get easier???!

He just needs lots of reassurance. Have you told him you and your husband have split up? How has it been explained to him? It does get easier - it's unsettling for everyone but it definitely does get easier with time.

Thank you bellemere. Yes he knows we r living in separate houses now but not really given a form reason why. Just that mummy is living here and daddy there now. He seems so happy in the day and otherwise. Me and stbxh didn't have the best relationship together so didn't really do a log ether so he's use to either being with mummy on his own a lot. I'm sure he will be ok with it soon. Thank you for replying

Can you choose some special things for his new room?

Maybe get his father to come round to your new house when he wants to visit him? It might make it feel more of a home to him if both parents are there together, and it might settle him more

Can he sleep in with you for a few nights as a special thing to help him feel comforted at night?

My 4 yr old used to cry for her dad at night, when he first left us. It was heart breaking, but didn't last long (about a couple of weeks). Children adjust very quickly.