Christmas

[Newbrummie]

I'll be honest I'm going to fight all the way to keep the DC's on Christmas Day, he thinks he's taking them to some premier inn ..... Worse comes to the worse though, what did/do you do with yourself ? I have sole care 51.5 weeks of the year.

He has them for 3.5 days a year?

His plan is to fly in from Australia every school holiday starting with Christmas and basically have all the fun with them whilst I do all the grunt work. I am seriously tempted to tell him to fcuk off and if he wants to see them he has to do the school run too but I'm afraid he won't take them to school

He's not had them at all this year soy year would be 3.5 days and they are heart breakingly grateful for anything from him

The thing is, Christmas isn't a reward for you doing all the grunt work. It isn't about you. It isn't about him. It's about what the children want to do or more accurately what would be in their best interests. Why isn't he starting with the summer holidays? How can he do the school run if he's in Australia?

He can come over here when they are at school and do the school run just as easily as he can do school holidays, if anything it would be cheaper for him but that wouldn't suit would it as that's the boring day to day stuff we call patenting. He's meant to be their dad not a fun uncle.
And whilst I agree Christmas isn't a reward it shouldn't be one for him either should it, lucky them having daddy fly in when he can't be at the rest of the year.

It's pretty hard not to be bitter, he's chosen this situation nobody forced him to stay there, he's not Australian.

After your separation did you move back here from Aus?

Yes, I tried to stay and give him access for 2.5 years, he moved 5 hours flight away from where we lived in Australia, didn't see them for 6 months then when he did it was for 2 weeks picking them up each morning at 7am bringing them home at 7pm, they were knackered not in their best interests at all

I assumed my ex would want ours for alternate Christmas but he didn't, and they didn't want to. So I have them every year which I love, he has them for a few days after covering NYE, is that an option?

I didn't move them to a different country he took is over to Australia and then abandoned us .... Without financial support at one point for 6 months. I brought the children home at great expense on a personal and financial basis.
Anyway the kids don't want to go to a hotel for Christmas Day so he can pick them up on the night I guess.

Are you Mosman? If you are, I'm glad you came back to the UK!

Yes I am ....there's no way there could be two of us with this tale lol
I miss Perth every day but it was the right thing to do for the children

It all came to ahead when he pisssed off to Darwin and left me literally without a cent and then slapped a no fly order on us to stop me leaving Australia, this was over turned quickly but literally we could have been in the gutter thanks to him, hopefully if he tries to enforce any contact via the uk courts they will take all this into consideration

I've always thought that if I didn't have dd at Christmas I might go and volunteer giving elderly/ homeless Christmas dinner... But if I'm honest, in reality it's more likely I'd stay inside drinking wine, eating chocolate and crying at the telly... Hope it works out for you,

Nope I wouldn't be given this guy access on christmas day. The kids do deserve to wake up in their own beds not in a hotel.

If it was EOW access I would feel differently. Like someone else said I assume he isn't flying over for 3 days so should have some different time to be available to see DC.

Given his history do you really think he will turn up?