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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

ideas please, why this man is watching me?????

31 replies

wondering555 · 01/11/2006 10:24

i am a single mum of 1, i changed my nickname because i am a bit shy person.
after hurting relationships i have decided to be on my own only deal with our lives with my child, thats the only energy i have now at the moment. i have no family around and not so many close friends which is generally the conditions and me being picky.
anyway there is a guy around me for the last maybe 6-7 months.
i see this guy at the local shop nearly every morning he is usually around me watching me.
there are some special coincidences i dont know how they happen for example when i am just entering the shop he just comes out the lift from the car park to enter the shop appearing just 1 mt beside me. it happened quite a few times but the timing is really surprising.
i have seen him on my road where i live a couple times- he walked beside me or was in his car.
i just sometimes look to make him feel that i have noticed him, but dont do anything else.
what is he trying to do, i dont know maybe thats a silly question.
he is very handsome man and i dont know why he picked me to watch like that (i am not bad looking, but still wonder).
i have lots to do but i saw him this morning so close again, felt confused and i thought its best to ask my clever, wise friends here on mumsnet.

OP posts:
ScareyCaligulaCorday · 01/11/2006 10:26

Are you afraid he's stalking you?

lou33 · 01/11/2006 10:26

could be that he likes you and is too shy to make a move, could be just a coincidence, and once you have spotted him once , you just keep noticing him, iyswim

or maybe you are a wanted criminal and he is tailing you

why not say hello next time and see how he reacts?

HappyMumof2 · 01/11/2006 10:36

Message withdrawn

Original poster
wondering555 · 01/11/2006 10:36

he looks like stalking, but very handsome, but i feel afraid sometimes.
i dont think i can say hello, he is the one who is pestering he should do. and as i said i cant take a friendship atm, but he is handsome.
i dont think he thinks i am a criminal - i think i seem like a shy person -but who knows.
i have lots to do and this man is confusing me

OP posts:
Original poster
wondering555 · 01/11/2006 10:39

i go to that shop quite often, i didnt feel this with another person.
this man is absolutely pestering, because its going on for a very long time and he is looking at me from the different corners of the shop. he comes just at the back of me at the queue.

OP posts:
Original poster
wondering555 · 01/11/2006 10:41

i just wonder what he is thinking.
but cant say hello

OP posts:
sugarfree · 01/11/2006 10:43

Being in a shop at the same time isn't pestering though is it?Although I understand that it is making you uncomfortable.
What about changing your routine for a couple of weeks and see what happens.

sugarfree · 01/11/2006 10:45

Does he live on the same street as you or very close by?That could explain why you see him in his car or walking in your street.

RTKangaMummy · 01/11/2006 11:59

I would deffo change your routine

Does he watch you when you have the children too

or is it when you are alone?

I would be a bit freaked out, but that is just me

Do you have a male friend you could ask to come over to spend a few days with you and see if he is still around when you are with a man?

madmarchflare · 01/11/2006 12:04

Well I think something is not quite right about it. I may be completely wrong but I agree that you should change your routine if possible and see what happens.

Original poster
wondering555 · 01/11/2006 12:08

there is something special about him, it doesnt look like these are only coincidences.
the way he acts is different, he is mostly looking at-watching me, walk past by me, and queue just behind me while there are many tilts to queue up.
maybe he is just messing about me, he didnt approach-as its been a very long time, months and months.
i didnt look at him, still dont look at him too much, but finally made him notice that i noticed him.

OP posts:
madmarchflare · 01/11/2006 12:11

I wouldnt call it special, more like weird.

Original poster
wondering555 · 01/11/2006 12:14

yes madmarchflare,
weird isnt it?

OP posts:
nellie245 · 01/11/2006 12:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RTKangaMummy · 01/11/2006 12:18

The thing is I know this is extreme and it is from USA BUT I feel I must post this warning

On OPRAH this morning she was talking about Peadophiles and she played a recording of a group of them talking and they were saying how much grooming and woo ing they did beforehand to get involved with single moms

I know this is mega extreme and very unlikely but I just wanted to let you know how much it sent a shiver down my back

It could just be a bloke who fancies you and is shy

IMHO I would change your routine and ask a male friend to come to the shops with you sometimes

madmarchflare · 01/11/2006 12:19

No, I mean weird as in 'a bit too weird for my liking if it were me, weird'.
You dont really seem concerned.
I would be.
Say 'hello' to him then.

Original poster
wondering555 · 01/11/2006 12:22

you maybe right nellie245
maybe months ago i looked at him unintentionally thinking he is good looking, but as i said i am shy, i dont stare people too much.
like you said maybe he thinks he may have a chance.
anyway i will leave it like that.
i dont have any intention to do anything about it really, i cant do, my time and energy is only enough for me and my child.
if something happens i will tell you here!

OP posts:
RTKangaMummy · 01/11/2006 12:22

Sorry my post is a bit tooooo alarmist

If you are interested in being friends then say hello

if not then glare at him

Original poster
wondering555 · 01/11/2006 12:25

RTKangaMummy,
you are right.
i thought of it too.
i think he is aware that i am a single mum, he sees me alone generally, quite a few times with my child, and saying hello to few people, thats it really.
and i know that single mums are targets for some men.

OP posts:
DontBurnMeImJustATwiglett · 01/11/2006 12:27

Talk to the shopkeeper and explain how you're feeling

Ask if s/he can have a word with the man and find out whether its coincidence or something else

RTKangaMummy · 01/11/2006 12:35

Oke doke

I didn't want to scare you but I was worried for you iyswim

Original poster
wondering555 · 01/11/2006 12:39

thanks very much ladies
i think i will leave the matter like that. wont do anything about it.
i was just wondering why he is doing like that-what he is thinking.
i think there are a few possibilities of why he is acting like that, but cant do anything about it really.
and i think if i dont give too much notice any further to him, this subject will vanish.
i just hesitated because he is good looking

OP posts:
wannaBe1974 · 01/11/2006 12:39

hmmm, this would freak me out somewhat also but tbh it wouldn't occur to me that he was a paedofile trying to groom me or my children. Paedofiles often go to great lengths to befriend their victims, and it doesn't sound as if this man is trying to befriend you, considering that he's been cropping up at your local shop/in your street but hasn't actually spoken to you. There is one other possibility though ...

Where is your child's father? Are you still in touch or did you part on bad terms? Does he know where you/your child live? and if not why not? if he doesn't know, is it possible that this man is someone connected to your ex, I know it sounds far fetched but .. a private investigator perhaps? If you and your child's father parted on bad terms and you cut him out of your lives it's not beyond the relms of possibility that he could hire someone to find out where you are/what you're doing.

Original poster
wondering555 · 01/11/2006 12:41

i have to go now

OP posts:
Original poster
wondering555 · 01/11/2006 12:44

wannaBe1974,
i dont think this man is someone working for my ex, i dont think so, i am very sure.
but this man took so long to do something further-like saying hello.

OP posts:
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