WWYD? Mediation question

[chocoraisin]

Went to mediation with my ex. He wanted to improve communication (my communication, obviously) and be more involved with our two DC.

Mediator dismissed us basically, as he has good regular access and I don't obstruct anything. He on the other hand has been very controlling and lied or witheld information often. Anyway, before closing the case she asked us if anything would change in 3-6 months that needed discussing. We both replied no, categorically.

3 weeks later XH emails to say he's moving to a new city. Reducing contact quite a bit, and putting significant travel time on top for the boys.

WWYD? I feel like he's taken the piss getting me to spend £150 on mediation to listen to how hard done by he is, when he knew all along he had no intention of seeing the DC more. He lied and wasted my time.

I'm so cross. Would you bother saying anything?

I'm not sure although I think it would be worth speaking with your solicitor/mediator to get this change of circumstances recorded and agreed formally so he can't then throw that back at you somehow..for some reason, he sounds like the type to do that!

I would take very good care of that email.. No I wouldn't bother. He is going to do it anyway. I would let him get on with it and let him tell the children

With all communication with exs stop and think "what am I going to achieve" before you do it. Not what would you like or hope but what is reality? In this case nothing. He'll still go. He'll know you are cross but he won't care (he didn't before so it's not going to change). Nothing you can say will actually achieve anything. So store that email safely away, take a breath and deal with him as the reasonable adult you are. Down the line you may just need to prove how wonderfully reasonable you are and what a prize tool he is And this exchange would be pretty good evidence imo.