just wondered if people were in / knew folk in a similar situation to mine. my dd is almost 4 and i'm pregnant again with a second baby due in march... when my dd was just 2 i got together with a new partner who literally became the love of my life, he treated me better than anyone ever has and i truly believed he was my soulmate.. we talked about having children together in the future but the pregnancy was not exactly planned, just kind of happened, not intentional on my part certainly.. in fact i was quite annoyed with us both but i didn't feel negative about it.. however it was clear early on that he was freaked out by the whole thing, we went round in circles for a few weeks with him slipping out of contact then re-appearing and eventually he disappeared abroad without so much as speaking to me or telling me where he was going. he didn't know at the time whether i was keeping the baby or not - i was 8 weeks pregnant.
now i'm at 18 weeks and in the intervening time ive been a complete mess tho pulled myself together a lot in past few weeks coz i mean you've just got to get on with it haven't you? he's been emailing me, asking what is happening, also saying over and over how sorry he is, and how much he loves me, and what a mess his head is in etc.. he kept saying he hoped i hadn't had an abortion as he wanted the chance to reconcile but he knew we couldn't be together right now etc... i put off telling him i was keeping the baby because i wanted to give the whole thing some space and also wanted a proper explanation from him about the sudden departure - which never came. in the end i sent an email a few days ago just outlining the facts, the scans, the due date etc. but kept it all quite light.
i haven't heard from him for over 2 weeks however and i haven't heard from him since i emailed him about the baby. i'm kind of torn between being extremely angry with him -keeps coming and going- and actually feeling worried whether he is ok because i think he really lost it, and i have no idea if he is ok or not, or where he is, obviously - literally he could be anywhere in the world. i know that in his own time he'll get in touch and tell me more and obviously if he wants to be involved with me and the baby and my daughter (who he's treated appallingly) he'll get in contact, if he's reading the emails, that is..
i've got his mother's phone number but have held off using it as we do not get on at all and i think it would quickly descend into her insulting me and refusing to give me any info. it would be awful so i only want to call her as a last resort. it's just hugely frustrating as the only thing i have is this one email address and that's it.
did anyone's partner leave in their pregnancy and then come back? does anyone know of people in similar situations? i genuinely think he left because of fear and an inability to cope on his behalf rather than because he doesn't love me or doesn't want the baby - but not sure where that leaves me. i'm finding it really, really hard to move on in my head - and finding the pregnancy quite tough now too while managing my dd.
any thoughts / advice welcome. sorry to go on so much but i had to let off steam today!!