Advice for a guy living with a woman with two Children

[creativeinmanchester]

I moved in with a woman two months ago who has two children aged 6 and 7. We seem to be arguing a lot recently with regards her expectations on what my financial responsibility is and I just need some advice on whether I am in the wrong or right.

To give some background, I have a son aged 15 (16 in May) who lives a long distance away so I don't see him often. I earn a significant amount more than my new partner - she had a messy Divorce from a wealthy husband. I get the feeling she is used to a man paying for a lot of things like holidays.

Our latest disagreement came in discussions on a holiday in that I offered to pay for me and her, but I feel she should pay for her own Children. I have no problem paying for meals out for the four of us etc and buying shopping - But I feel that a two grand expense for her Children on a holiday is not fair. And in fact such money should be spent on my own Son as I save up for his Uni fees in a few years.

Does anyone have any similar experiences. Am I being unfair?

The deal breaker here is:
she wants you to pay for her and her 2 kids but your son can not come. She is a selfish bitch. Walk out.

I have to say I fundamentally disagree that all children should be treated equally financially. In this case, her 2DCs are funded by her wealthy EX and her and OP - and then the OP has to fund them aswell, meaning his DS gets less form his own father than the steps do - where is the fairness in that.

That is exactly the reasoning why I get the sum total of not much for my DCs, because Exs new partner, says his priority should be providing for the new family, ergo her and her 2 DCs and then after whatever is left, he pays for his own. Her EX pays over the odds to her for his DCs, she works and then my EX spends huge amounts on her children and his own get very little - and then she moans about paying too much maintenance!!!!

My Ex earns over £80K per annum and with that he spends £247pcm on his own two children - it sucks royally.

I can see where you are coming from but from a different angle.

I have two children from a previous relationship. My partner has a teenage daughter who lives abroad. Partner and I have a 4 month old son together.

I work part time on a pretty decent wage (but currently on maternity). My older children are no contact with their dad and I do not get any maintenance. My partner earns a decent wage and pays maintenance for his daughter.

My partner will pay for the mortgage, meals out, bills...in fact anything...but I have to draw the line. I am very aware that my elder children aren't his and find it unfair that he should pay for their clothes/activities etc. He wouldn't begrudge them at all, but I wouldn't let him do it. At Christmas I bought their presents with my money and signed from the both of us, and he did the same with his daughter. This way of doing things really works for us and I think it stops any resentment building up.

I feel this whole thread is a bit out of context and your underlying issue is that you don't want to pay for an expensive holiday for 2 children that aren't yours (and are actually financially supported) whilst cutting your own child short.

I would never expect my partner to feel he was paying out more for my two children than his own daughter.