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Original poster

So nervous

11 replies

moomooland01 · 31/10/2014 09:57

I know Im being unreasonable here but I need advise on how to not feel like this.
Kids are off to dads this weekend, they havent seen him since feb, his choice. Doubts are still on if he has them this weekend but thats another story.
He has called them to tell them their plans etc, off bowling and on a huge spending spree.
My issue is, they are meeting his new girlfriend. Its not a problem, I know her, Ive heard good things of her although I have seen bad too.

Its normal to feel like this right?

Im dreading the whole "oh shes so wonderful".
I guess Im jealous.

How do I shake it off?

OP posts:
AlbaGuBrath · 31/10/2014 10:17

Personally I wouldn't be happy about it at all. He hasn't seen his children since February. This weekend should IMHO be the start of them rebuilding a parent/child relationship and bond. I would at the very least expect a month or two regular visits under their belt before introducing a new partner.

How old are your kids?

Original poster
moomooland01 · 31/10/2014 10:21

12ds (hes met her already, he choses to go to his by himself and dad willing see him)
10ds and 6dd. Youngest asked me if she sleep in hi bed?!

I see where youre coming from.

Theyve been a bit "out of sorts this week" I think they too are a little nervous, more to do with if hes going to turn up for them. We've been here before but this is part of an interim court order (my application).

OP posts:
AlbaGuBrath · 31/10/2014 10:33

Hopefully he will for their sake. As
much as I disagree with his plans I do think you need to let him do this his way. As long as you don't have any reason to worry about your children's safety then just see how it goes.

Do you have any nice plans to stop you from worrying all weekend?

Original poster
moomooland01 · 31/10/2014 10:37

Nope, none, I just plan on enjoying the break and imagining him having to deal with the fighting, the kicking, the screaming at one another at 7am :)

I think its because hes made plans to do the nice things that Im worried about, I dont have spare cash to be throwing around as I get zero financial help from him for any of them although I have contacted CMO at the end of Sept, still waiting to hear.

OP posts:
AlbaGuBrath · 31/10/2014 10:41

He's not been there for them for the last 8 months. Buying a few toys etc doesn't compare. Kids aren't as easily bought as you would think. They'll take what they can get in most situations but things done buy love and they certainly don't make up for being an absent parent in their lives. Think of something fun and cheap you can do with them next weekend. Kids don't need a wad of money, they need your time, attention and love.

Original poster
moomooland01 · 31/10/2014 10:55

The shopping thing is because he didnt get them presents for birthdays in summer!
What he doesnt know is that they are more than happy to sit round a table colouring and drawing silly faces, we can do that for hours.

Last time they went (Feb) I was in the bath and my little girl came in and just burst into tears, I jumped out of the bath to go and ask the eldest what had gone on and he took one look at his sister and he to burst into tears, big dobbing tears, nothing had really gone on, I think it was just the emotion of it all, DD said she missed me too much.

I worry about her this weekend, I cant even go for a pee with out her following me, she has a bath when I jump in the shower and if she needs the loo she'll hold it till I go so I end up taking her.

The thought of him having them to grill them is doing my head in too, I know its going to be a constant barage of questions from him.

I know Im being daft, I just need to keep myself occupied I guess.

OP posts:
AlbaGuBrath · 01/11/2014 20:18

How are you doing so far? Have you heard from the kids at all?

BlackeyedSusan · 01/11/2014 21:23

did he turn up and how are you and the children?

Original poster
moomooland01 · 02/11/2014 14:31

Drop off was ridiculous! He was in, kids toddled off, I asked would he sign the contact book an he refused, he walked up the garden path then turned and threw it at me!
Eldest decided he didn't want to go!
His dad rang me about 9 last night screaming down the phone that he's not old enough to make his own decisions, not what he's said for the last year! He's always said he's old enough to decide where he wants to go and when. He then threatened to drop the other two at my mums and forget the whole thing. Never did though.
Middle one called at my mums this morning, they went bowling but not shopping for their birthday presents as promised however his new girlfriend did give them both 20 quid?!
Apart from that I've had a lovely weekend doing not a lot, my house is spotless, I drank far to much wine last night and I had a lovely Sunday laze in bed watching crap. I have to admit I was a little lost yesterday but given time I'll find my feet.
Thanks for thinking of me Smile

OP posts:
AlbaGuBrath · 03/11/2014 16:36

What a joke. Will this be an ongoing things do you think?

I'm glad you were ok.

Original poster
moomooland01 · 04/11/2014 12:28

He asked for contact at court, originally only asked for 10-4 on a Saturday! I told his barrister he could have them alternate weekend Friday - Sunday and watched as he shook his head! Heard his barrister mention something about give and take and he should take it.
He said he's having them on his next weekend so we'll see.

OP posts:
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