Anyone else out there who can tell us how to cope with contact and organising weekend for secondary school?

[ROZ12]

Hi all,

MY DD just started year 7. She has mid week break with dad and Friday to Monday contact every other weekend. She goes to very academic school with alot of homework and books. The poor things is getting exhausted and extra stressed out carrying Monday books to school on a Friday and also very tired on mid week break as she has to go to her dads complete one set homework, get ready again and come back to mine and complete two other sets, therefore really tired and late bed time.

Father wont negotiate and says to get on with it its court order not flexible.

Any experiences out there or advice how to cope and lighten the load so to speak??

Thanks

I would say it's early days and she will get used to it trust me. I have the same arrangement with my ex husband.
Can she overnight at her dad's on the week night and go to school from there?
Also I will say they learn to get more organised. My boys are quite used to juggling homework etc and sports clubs.
If it's court ordered I think you may have to give it time.

ok thanks so she doesnt want to overnight on a weekday.

I remember your post from when he was taking you to court. It wasn't long ago so assume the court order is recent. I would look at trying to help your daughter plan what she needs to take with her and be positive about it to help her with it.

Ideas needed , a mum and two kids need ideas for Xmas , we are totally alone and hv nowhere to go this Xmas any ideas ? I'm dreading it already , we can go away but preferably in the UK , I'm dreading the loneliness and we r so fed up at home

Routine, DD is at an academic school in year 6 has entrance exams in a few weeks and has 4 big after school activities on week nights and another on Saturdays. Plus she is a scholarship candidate.
We work out what homework needs to be done when. Tuesday night there is no activity and Thursday there are two so Tuesday is home drink and snack and the head down catching up on Mondays homework and getting ahead for Wednesday and Thursday. Maths and English are the only things that have to be in the next day.
I am also rigid about week night bedtimes when she is with me to ensure she gets enough sleep.
I do accept that certain times of the year are horrendous next spring will be horrific dance exams, a dance show over three nights at the beginning of March and then a musical theatre show with four performances in the middle of March. You just have to live through those times and down grade anything I want to do on my weekends with her.
I hope I am teaching her organisation skills that will set her in good stead through out her life.

Every so often we have a Sunday where she has to do nothing.

It's very early days and all year 7's are tired right now. It's draining to get into the routine but it will get much easier. Make sure all the homework is logged so you know what has to be done when, and have timetables somewhere visual so she knows what books she has to have each day to lessen any anxiety.

If she continues to struggle, though, it might be worth reconsidering at the school choice. Very academic is great for some kids but not all can cope with the pressure and it's only going to get harder.

Hi

Last two posters I understand. But I was asking for advice from parents whos children have contact with father at weekends. My DD is coping well with me just finding it hard packing up for weekends and quantity of work on a Thursday and having to come home again.

I think last two posters are just describing their children who does not have contact with dad?? Correct me if I misunderstood.

Thanks

R

Mine does have contact we have a strict routine to fit everything it's the only way.

Hi

So does your child go Friday to Monday and pack double books? My ex is terrible at helping my DD.

Books are kept in the book locker at school and only brought home when needed for homework. He is rubbish at helping her, but always has been so she has got used to organising herself at one point she was with me Mon, him Tues, Wed me Thurs and then every other weekend. She has become resilient and able to organise herself.

My boys do every other and we just have to plan ahead. For example I pack bags for the weekend and make sure they have all books for the Monday if that makes sense.
I also pack football kit (extra) for ds3 and kit for weekend games.
Books and kit for ds2.
It's just down to organisation and I do feel for you. It takes some getting used to.

Mine does, if going Friday - Monday, check when she last uses Mondays books and find out if she can leave them in locker until needed. ds often takes a spare bag for extra books. Hes had to learn to get on with his own homework. Mention to pastoral head so they can support her if anything gets left behind or forgotten until shes used to it.