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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Is this a strange idea?

11 replies

buttermeres · 21/08/2014 18:21

Ok, so I am not a lone parent but thought you might be the best people to ask.
I have no children myself but my partner has 3, who he cares for fulltime. We are long-distance so I only spend time with the kids every other weekend or thereabouts.
I have no children in my family, no friends with children - meeting his kids was my only real contact with children since being a child myself! I feel a bit 'thrown in the deep end' at times, but enjoy spending time with them.
I would love to befriend a family / parent, to have a bit of experience with kids outside of my relationship, to have a parent friend (other than DP) to talk about kids and kids things with.
I've seen things about 'adopt a granny' - I am nowhere near being a granny but is it a strange idea to 'adopt an adult friend'? I suppose I am thinking of lone parents who may lack support from other adults, may not have family around etc.
The only way I can think of going about it is babysitting...
I think the answer to my thread title is going to be 'yes'.

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NorwaySpruce · 21/08/2014 18:31

I think that 'targeting' an adult (especially a lone parent) on the basis they have children you can practice your skills on will get you some very odd responses, yes.

Parents (lone or otherwise) are warned to look out for people doing just that, you know!

Original poster

buttermeres · 21/08/2014 18:45

Just cos I'm not old enough to be an 'adopt-a-granny'

I'll go back into the shadows from whence I came, and wait for my next bright idea.

OP posts:

NorwaySpruce · 21/08/2014 18:48

Throw yourself in at the deep-end. Volunteer with the Scouts!

Original poster

buttermeres · 21/08/2014 18:54

Not a bad idea NorwaySpruce although I am not sure if it was tongue-in-cheek...! Either it would go wonderfully, and I would have realms of new wisdom and experience, or it would go woefully, and anything else would look great in comparison...

OP posts:

thecandymancan · 21/08/2014 18:58

Local hospitals or go and read to kids at local primary schools (not sure if you have to be a parent for either of these but worth a look...)

NorwaySpruce · 21/08/2014 18:59

No, I meant it! Our group are always desperate for helpers, and you will learn more than you ever wanted to know about children after spending a week away on camp with them.

Going all Bear Grylls on your step-children will impress them no end too.

At worst they will be able to tell tales of the time you appeared brandishing tent pegs and insisted on trying out your new found camping skills with them. Preferably in the rain and wind, for added comedy value.

Remember to do this ---> a lot, and you'll be fine !

VanitasVanitatum · 21/08/2014 19:03

How about mentoring?

fedupbutfine · 21/08/2014 19:08

google 'Home Start' - they provide support to parents (any parents, not just lone parents) who need... a bit of extra support. There is likely a branch near you and they usually are looking for volunteers.

It doesn't sound as mad as you think - you've perhaps not worded it as well as you might have been but I am sure that there are indeed lone parents out there who would welcome friendship and support they can rely on. You are clearly meaning well but please don't approach it from the perspective of some kind of social experiment - we are all normal people, with the usual expectations and disappointments!

gildedlily · 21/08/2014 19:09

Don't you have any mates with children who might like to loan them out - or is that just me wishing I had a child free friend who might like the occasional lend of mine?

Original poster

buttermeres · 21/08/2014 19:16

Wonderful ideas. It would have to be something to fit around work which is why a Scouts-type thing may be good as it would be in the evening. Will have a look at Home Start too.

Not meaning to target lone parents - I suppose it came from the fact that DP is a 'lone' parent 90% of the time, and he has a couple who live up the road from him with no children themselves who spend time with the kids and him quite regularly. I see how everyone gets something out of it - support for DP, time with children for the couple he has become friendly with, and extra people to play with for the kids! I'm not a weirdo, honest.

No friends with children, no nieces/nephews yet....

OP posts:

campingfilth · 22/08/2014 23:22

You can be a mentor to children try asking the local children's/social services you will need to be available for a set amount of time for a certain length of time. You can also volunteer to help out families that need a bit of respite whether thats just allowing the mum to go the shops without the kids or a bit more.

If you live in Sussex come round and take my kid I could do with the peace

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