Tips for keeping calm.

[littlemissminime]

I have a big meet coming up in the next week. EX will be there along with schools, SW etc. "All cards will be laid on the table" so Im told.
Hate being in the room with EX, he lies, becomes aggitated and generally irritates me. Whats worse is when Im talking about my DC I become REALLY emotional. I know Im either going to cry / or lose my rag with that idiot, which obviously I know I cant do nor do I want to.
What your top tips for staying calm in the prescence of the EX and to hold back the tears?

write down key phrases you will say

write down the key points you want to get across in one sentence for each keep it short

always repeat: "it is best for the dc that ...."

I agree with cestlavie - write down your key points in advance and when it's your turn to talk, take your time - perhaps take a bottle of water with you.

I think tears are normal at meetings like this so I wouldn't worry too much if you do get emotional.

and just staying calm and repeating your points even when ex is going off ranting about random stuff or accusing you. just stay calm let him rant so everyone hears.

don't respond directly to him just look at the sw or other professional and say "it is best for the dc that...."

I've done the key points ready. I've even made multiple answers just in case he throws something back. It's the tears flowing I'm worried about to be honest. you're def right about letting him rant. Problem with him is that he can't hold back, I seem to make him that way, he shakes and becomes erratic in my prescience.

Is there someone else in the room that you can ask to support you if that happens? When I had meetings with my ex and school and CAMHS and so on, the CAMHS lady made sure I wasn't bullied.

Meeting went really well. Held it together no problem, ex completely lost it, ranting and raving, walked out, resulting in me giggling inside. How easy was that!

Was reading with interest as am back in court tomorrow with ex yet again , if you give them enough rope they'll hang themselves ....

Omg how weird is that, I was just about to write that on here! Yes I do believe this is true. Karma. It's like I don't even have to do anything, he's doing it all for me!

As cestlavie says.

Write down your key points and remember it is about the children - not him or you.

It will be hard - but by the far the best outcome is that you and your ex come to some kind of working arrangement that you can live with. Even when your kids are grown up you may end up being in the same room at some point...weddings, funerals, that sort of thing.

My personal situation is the opposite and it's having it's impact on my son. It's not nice but my options are limited here.

Court went well held it together gave the facts , ex point blank refused to make any voluntary financial contribution so judge want to have means statement ex protested but judge insisted so the process rumbles on but its clear his not going to skip out if this one . So a good result all round resisted the urge to txt and say your football season ticket is not a dependant btw lol ......

Teddi, do you mind if I ask what you were in court for?

Thanks lostdad, I just can't see any sign of reaching an agreement. SW has already said how well I'm doing ad she's noted how reasonable I've been and how I can see an end in sight, EX on the other hand continually creates obstacles!

Financial provision order under schedule 1 of the children's act