Kids being dumped with OW whilst he goes on a stag weekend.

[Monetbyhimself]

She's an even bigger mug than I thought.
But he'd rather eat his own arm off than let them stay at home (residency and contact order in place and he's already missed contact twice in the last 6 weeks)
Can't wait to see his reaction when he finds out that I know.

It's the "I can't wait I see his reaction" comment in the OP that comes across as antagonistic.

But yet again we have another father who is stubbornly determined to insist on access even when he's not around.

Why am I not surprised needaholiday has reared her head on this thread. Your obvious contempt for resident lone parent (really just the single mum's) never ceases to amaze me.

OP, I really do wish that you could just make the decision to stop your DC from going. When a NRP only has EOW contact and can't even be bothered to actually be there to spend time and care for their children it makes me wonder why the hell they have even bothered with access in the first place. 9 out of 10 times it's just a tactic to get at the RP. It's a shame that we don't take a leaf out of some other countries books where the NRP has to be present for contact. If they aren't then the children don't go end of.

I really don't think Needaholidaynow is showing contempt FFS!

I'm a lovely person me

Just because I don't agree with your views on a lot of lone parent threads doesn't make me a horrible person.

I don't remember the conversation you refer to be honest. I rarely comment on the step parenting boards

You post a lot on the lone parenting threads though, and many of the post are being deliberately inflammatory to the OP and those who have commented in support. I honestly don't see how the OP here is being unreasonable either.

Ah yes I remember that conversation now.

Rearing your head is a figure of speech, it's not really meant to cause offence but I'll hold my hand up and apologise if it offended, I can see why it would.

I've got to say I disagree, quite a few of the posts I've seen to me comes across as inflammatory to me. I'm not saying that all your posts are but some of the one's towards lone parents have been.

For example, above in this post you made up an entire scenario about what the OP would do if the girlfriend didn't look after her DC. You have absolutely no idea if she would be annoyed or would actually (given the circumstances of her personal situation) be over the moon that her kids would be in her care for the weekend and not with their father or his girlfriend.

As someone who's DD has zero contact with her father I would quite honestly rather stick pins in my eyes than hand her over into his care. The OP has said her ex is abusive and that he has lost his temper with her DC. Can you not see that your subsequent comments are quite hurtful and actually way off base?

Have you asked the kids if they want to stay at home? If they do, let them, what's he gonna do about it? Take you to court? Yes, dcs have a right to see their df, but he's not gonna be there is he?

I will never understand those who have shared parenting and don't make the most of every precious second they have with the kids. I have an ex who had his daughter 24 hours a week and would leave her with me while he went out with his friend he sees most days. I didn't mind as frankly he was shite with her and she was better off with me but I have never understood it. Of course there will be days when something else is happening so why not swap the days instead of have them and lose the time dumping them on someone else? I have to share my daughter with her waste of space father and I can hardly bare to go to the loo when I'm with her. He on the other hand dumps her on his whore girlfriend constantly while he's off doing something so much more important.

This bit needaholiday everything the OP has said has implied she would rather have them at home so I don't see where the below has come from...

but yet if she didn't want to look after your children, I can bet my bottom dollar you'd be saying she isn't making an effort with your children and that when it's his days it's "his problem" to sort out childcare arrangements.

needaholiday that response was spectacularly obtuse, just illustrating meep meep's point.

Well, the grudges and agendas are coming out on this one aren't they!

is that aimed at me?

Nah, you were just being lazy need.

Nah, you wouldn't do that because we established on the last thread that you wouldn't do anything for your DSD that you didn't have to.

Well at least we know why you posted and what your agenda is need. Nothing at all to do with 'concern' over the OP's anticipation of her ex's response but because you are still pissed off with comments aimed at you from another thread. So you weren't really 'just repeating what others had already said' were you?

Why keep coming back to dig yourself further into that big hole you are in?

OP I would ask the kids what they want and have an honest talk with your ExP. If he can't be a grown up about it then I would try and take it back to court.

I agree with spuds I'd ask the dc what they want to do.

And FWIW, I.think its a tricky situation.
For example, my ex has the dc every Sunday, and every other sat for overnight.

A few weeks ago he cancelled the overnight (at midday) as he was going out drinking. I had also arranged a night out, which I then had to cancel.
One side of me was pissed off (partly.due to the lack of notice), he has a dp who could have looked after the dc, or if she was going out too then they should have to arrange child care like I do on the rare occasion I go out.

Otoh, she's not their mum, and I struggle with her role in their lives. Wrong I know. And I'm trying to work through it.

But I do think sontimes that whatever a step parent does its wrong.