CSA for step child

[helmaria]

Now my ex has a step child living with him, does this lessen my csa payments?

Because it is unreliable and too many LPs were being left up shit creek.

The Frogs definitely need suitable housing yes.

She brought the gin but left my bloody Jimmy Choos in the bookies

needaholidaynow because it isn't income it's for the child/ren. Also it could stop or decrease at any point, putting the RP in a vulnerable position and in turn child/red.

Money Thee frog can fall down a drain for all I care.

The actual frogs obviously do need a wee home to rest within I have drank too much wine

WHAT KIND OF BOOKIES GIVE JIIMMY CHOOS? Where do you live, I'm moving. (If that's ok to move far far away from the poor NRP?)

Or Monet even definitely too much wine

Because too many shit NRPs use it to control the Manolo wearing Exs. Play ball laydeeze or da menz stop da money.

It must be bedtime.

Needaholiday.

That's how it used to work,well I use the word work loosely because it didn't

Needaholiday. There are a number of NRPs who use CM as a weapon. And withold it on a whim to punish a RP for crimes such as refusing to agree to house sales/asset dispersals/flagging up welfare concerns. These grievances can change from month to month and are particularly common in relationships where there has been a history of abuse and control.
Do you honestly think that if an NRP didn't receive CM they could simply ring up and ask for an increase in HB to cover that months rent ?

Frog - for a lot of RP's, maintenance goes towards covering such basic things as food, rent, utilities. Why do they need to detail what they are spending the maintenance on? It become part of THEIR household budget, just as it is no longer part of the NRP's family budget.

If the DC's were not fed adequately, clothed appropriately, sent to school with appropriate food in their lunch boxes, wearing shoes that were too small, then the case would quickly, and quite rightly, be referred to Children's Services. The RP IS already accountable for how they provide for the DC's, FAR more so than the NRP.

And if it's ok for the RP to have to declare what every penny of the maintenance is spent on, then the NRP should have to show where every penny of THEIR household budget goes too, to show that they can't pay higher CM...

If it's good for one side, it must be good for the other.

And who do you propose 'polices' these accounts? The NRP? Because that is tantamount to financial abuse. Which is, btw, the reason WHY the RP does not have to declare what the CM is spent on. It is assumed that in the majority of the cases, if the RP is neglecting the DC, it will get picked up by SS. Which is preferable to the state being complicit in continuing financial abuse on behalf of the NRP...

And will you please stop saying that I am equating £37 with some sort of 'cost of contact'.

FFS, I have MEDICAL APPOINTMENTS for my DC's more than a 2 hr journey each way and still make it back to collect my DC's from school.

At one point, I worked 60 hrs a week AT NIGHT so that I was there during the day to spend time with my DC's.

You keep throwing up these ridiculous excuses why your DP isn't paying maintenance, when actually it is just a crappy CHOICE your family are making, that is disadvantaging his DC's.

And no, I STILL don't agree that that is a reason for his ex to be contact blocking.

I can't help but think less of your DH for NOT finding a solution to working AND spending time with his DC's, because there ARE plenty of solutions, but you are both CHOOSING not to take them.

In the past, as an RP, believe me, I'VE had to take those shitty choices, even ones that meant I was doing a very physically active job all night, coming home, doing school runs etc, garnering 2 hrs sleep whilst DC's were at preschool, and another 2 hrs in the evening after my then partner got in from work, then going out and doing another 10hr night shift.

You suck up seeing your DC's less, as both an RP AND an NRP - BECAUSE YOU BOTH HAVE A FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY TOWARDS THEM.

I don't 'get' people that don't see that.

Again that's what they used to do.but they had to stop it because it plunged so many lone parents into a very vulnerable position and the system is not equipped to deal with the frequent sudden changes.

On a different note,if I were a NRP I personally would not think it was a wonderful idea for my children to live on the minimum the gov says the need if I was not.

But don't you see, Frogs, that that is the NRP and the NRPP CHOOSING that having a step or half sibling outweighs the detriment to the existing DC WITHOUT GIVING THE RP ANY SAY IN WHAT IS GOING TO AFFECT THE RP'S LIFE TOO - AS THE MONEY STILL NEEDS TO BE SPENT ON THE DC AND THE RP WILL HAVE TO FIND IT.

YOU are making that choice FOR the RP.

If you are going to make that decision, as an NRP, to have more DC's or move in with someone who already has them, then either the maintenance should stay the same, or the RP should be given a say in that decision too.

That decision DOESN'T just affect the NRP and the NRPP, it also adversely affects the RP and the DC's too.

Which is why, when I was the NRPP, and we decided to extend our family (though our baby was sb), we did so with the knowledge that we had factored in both his maintenance costs AND travel to contact costs AT THE SAME LEVEL AS BEFORE, before we decided to continue with our accidental pg.

It would not have been an option to continue that pg if it would have adversely affected his existing DC's, as we could only make that decision for OUR household, not for his RP's household.

DUH!

Really Needaholiday? So an NRP decides not to pay CM the day before the childrens rent is due. You just ring them up and they put more money in your account that day ?

It takes weeks.

The vast majority of HB offices run at a 5 week backlog.

And one of the reasons the government gave for stopping it was because they system did not cope with it.

Just to really explain balance and why I say RP/NRP. I was brought up by my Dad as an RP. MY crappy NRP was my Mother.

I'm not 'against men', I'm not against NRP's starting a new family - but my mother was the higher earner when she went on Mat leave with my half Dbro. My Dad was unable to find enough school hours work, as all he had ever done was long-distance lorry driving, so he relied on the CM to feed me.

When my DBro was born, my CM more than halved. My Dad wasted away in front of me, as a 9/10yo girl, and I went without breakfast every day. In the end he killed himself partly because he couldn't cope with not being able to feed me.

So yeah, I get chippy about NRP's not paying FOR ANY REASON. Because I have seen, firsthand, the devastating effects it can have on an RP's health - he skipped so many meals that he was malnourished and unable to think clearly.

needaholidaynow

If the maintenance goes down the HB would go up.

It is not taken as income so if someone rang the HB Office suggesting this it wouldn't happen

Stop making excuses for shit parents.

Perhaps they could employ all the unemployed NRPS from home to run the system to allow NRPs to stop CM on a whim at any time.

And pay them with gin and olives.

Hahahahaha needaholiday. I REMEMBER the bad old days when maintenance WAS taken into account for benefits. It's WHY I moved 600 miles for work.

Because I was assessed as that I should be getting £60 a week, £100 a week...so my benefits were reduced accordingly...and I GOT FUCK ALL.

Maybe those of you with younger DC's don't remember that, but I fucking do.

Dp doesn't pay his ex maintenance because we have dsd here half the time, we pay half of everything (and he doesn't work, I do). His ex has a good wage too.
We have 2 dd's together, I wouldn't dream on spending less on his dsd because he went on to have 2 more, why would you?
Maintenance should stay the same regardless of how many more children are produced.

And do you really think HB changes move that quickly?!

There's a 13 week lead time on a simple change of circumstance right now in my area. HA's seek possession after 12 weeks...

You really have no fucking clue, do you?!

To be fair on the housing benefit thing, it does vary from council to council. They have same day processing where I used to live and five day here as long as you have all your evidence ready to show them.