Ex annoyance

[Shalon]

Can anyone help
Any time I have a concern with 1 of our 3 children my x tells me to shut up cause I'm jealous?? (Even thought I ended our 11 year life together)
X has been threatening to take me to court all year - an incident occurred where our 3 year old had marks on his abdomin our boy tells me it was caused by the x's girlfriends 13 year old boy poking and pinching him! (Our 4 year old also confirmed this)
I raised concerns with x who told me I was rediculous! I asked advice from police who told me to have a talk (me, x & son and find out what happened!) x called our son a liar (for weeks previous to this our son came home from wknds with dad solemn and bed wetting! For this event I decided I had enough of being dismissed by their dad and in best interest of children I would stop sleep overs but dinner and visits could continue until court (this all took place 6th dec)
X was very angry with me and screamed a lot in front of children so I told him to calm down before he was to have children again this took 3 weeks
He has had children for the day Monday and decided he will not be bringing children home that night - nothing I can do because we don't have court order in place!
I have said enough enough and no sleep overs and because he not likely to bring children home if they go to dinner I'm feeling like I don't want the children to go for dinner (but who am I to stop children seeing their dad?!) but also how long do I have to put up with him bullying me
(He won't sign paper so I can sell house and move closer to my family 120 miles away) I've been on my own for a year and my x is stressing me out so much - I got knowone here who got my back and I've had to quit my job because I have noone to look after kids at nighttime

Can anyone advise me please - I don't know which way to turn x I've put up with him trying to run my life for whole year since he been gone

I think that the marks on your son seem to have two possible explanations. The 13 year old is deliberately assaulting your son. Or, there is an innocent explanation...to be frank, a 3 year and 4 year old are not going to give you the answers that you can rely on. I know this, my own 3 year old told my ex I never fed her during my parenting time...which i did, honest. You could always take your son to a GP?

Your ex getting angry at the allegation and you restricting/stopping contact is not surprising. You can see how this would be an emotive issue.

Perhaps what you really need is peace of mind. If you knew what was going on, were able to discuss concerns then perhaps a lot of the anxieties would evaporate. Perhaps if your ex saw that you had sincerely held worries, his view of you would also change?

I suggest that the parental conflict is perhaps the real child welfare concern facing your son and the best way to address this is to take a leap of faith and ask him to attend family mediation.

With regard to selling the house, IIRC I think you can eventually force a sale if its a joint asset(?) Maybe you can take advice on this, when you have sufficient emotional energy. Maybe via the Citizens Advice Bureaux?

Dark knight
Thankyou - we attended mediation and my x
Decided he Would not go back because I
contacted CSA due to him Not helping out
3 kids our mortgage and general
Living cost mounts up but he managed to move
Himself to big place in the country (I gave up
My well paid job to raise our family & took on part
Time job to help pay his uni fees)
He is very manipulative as advised by the police
We sat down and talked to our son, before he
Responded my x told him he was lying. But later
Confirmed that the 13 had pinched him but only
In the arm?! Either way I've practically forced
All 3 kids to go with him every week for over
A year and I am emotionally and physically drained
With the backlash that comes home after their
Visits
We can't raise children with conflicting interests
And constant bullying
Parents should listen to children more

I'm leaving house to solicitors to sort out now
I've dealt with all manor of costly problems last
Year and I'm through with it lol
Thankyou