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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

I've had enough

20 replies

HHH3 · 22/11/2013 21:56

Everything is going wrong. It's one thing on top of another recently. I can't keep doing this on my own 24/7. Don't know what to do.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

holstenlips · 22/11/2013 22:02

Hello. Im on my own too. Its hard. Whats happening?

Original poster

HHH3 · 22/11/2013 22:14

Too much going on to write here. But the upshot is I've pretty much reached the end of what I can take. I can't do this anymore.

OP posts:

holstenlips · 22/11/2013 22:15

Anyone you can call? The Samaritans are pretty good. They have had the pleasure of me a few times. Anything really bugging you right now we can chat about?

chitofftheshovel · 22/11/2013 22:18

I do know how you feel, it's bloody tough. Take a moment to reflect on all the GOOD in your life, so easy to let the shit bog you down. You can do it, because you are a strong lady. Things may not get better straight away but they will do.

Original poster

HHH3 · 22/11/2013 22:18

Really don't want to talk to anyone tbh. And even if I did I couldn't cos DS2 won't bloody go to sleep.

OP posts:

holstenlips · 22/11/2013 22:19

How old is ds2? Do you get a break at all?

FetchezLaVache · 22/11/2013 22:22

Hi HHH3, another LP here too. Tell us what's going on if you want, even if we can't help in any constructive way it might help you just to get it all off your chest.

Original poster

HHH3 · 22/11/2013 22:30

He's 11 months.

OP posts:

Original poster

HHH3 · 22/11/2013 22:31

I get 2.5hrs a week which I use to go to counselling.

OP posts:

chitofftheshovel · 22/11/2013 22:35

HHH3 are you ok? you're sounding a bit desperate. life works in funny ways, ups and downs. Honestly, like I said things will be ok. (If anything the kids will get older and it'll be a bit easier)

Original poster

HHH3 · 22/11/2013 22:55

Desperate is about right. Don't know how to make anyone understand how bad things are though.

OP posts:

MuffCakes · 22/11/2013 23:03

It is shit there's no sugar coating it or you'd just get a glitter poo.

But it's also so lovely once you get past the awful slog until school age.

Do you work or are you stuck with the dc relentlessly?

Original poster

HHH3 · 22/11/2013 23:09

DS1 is school age and spends 50% of his time with his dad. I don't work and am with DS2 24/7 (apart from 2.5hrs a week). And at the moment it really is 24/7 as his sleeping is really bad recently.

OP posts:

3littlefrogs · 22/11/2013 23:32

Can you say a bit more about his sleeping? Maybe we can help.

Lack of sleep is so hard, but it does get better.

Is he teething? Got a cold? Earache? it is so hard to work out what the problem is when you are so tired.

MuffCakes · 22/11/2013 23:43

What a shame they don't sell medised no more

I think once you get his sleep cracked and a early ish bed time so you can have a few hours to yourself and a full nights sleep everything will look a million times better OP.

I don't have any advice apart from CIO though I'm afraid and not everyone likes doing that, but maybe for your own well being its something to consider.

HoneyandRum · 22/11/2013 23:47

Sleep deprivation is so torturous it makes all situations seem desperate, is there anyone who could come and watch your youngest so you could get some sleep?

Catnap26 · 22/11/2013 23:56

Can I just say that since having my 2 ds (5 months and 17 months) I really admire lone parents and think you do a wonderful job under very stressful situations.

I agree with a previous poster that sleep deprivation can make everything else seem much worse.i go to baby groups as often as I can i find that it really helps.

nefelibata · 23/11/2013 07:49

another vote for CIO. I am a LP to two boys less than two years apart and I nearly lost it around the same point you are at with you 2nd. I was so tired I couldn't pick him up in the evenings, honestly it was for fear of shaking him it was that bad. Eventually I did controlled crying/cry it out - from pure desperation. Now I wish I had done it sooner. Night one he cried for 45mins then slept, 2 hours later he cried for 25 mins and then slept. By night three he went off on his own and has done ever since.

I won't lie the first 45 mins of him screaming for me nearly killed me (I sat there and sobbed) but to tell you the truth it was far, far better than me nearly killing him myself by forcing myself to keep going to him when I was so exhausted. I'm not talking about neglecting his needs - I fed him, changed him, bathed him, loved him to bits and then put him to bed, and left him there. I checked him every few minutes to reassure him I was there but I didn't pick him up. And eventually he slept.

The boys are 3 and 1 now and we are mostly ok. If anyone at all can help you right now, ask and take it. Where are you geographically? I am SW if that helps? I also joined my children's centre LP group and made my best mummy friends there. Is there anything like that you can join?

You will get through it xx

holstenlips · 23/11/2013 20:17

How are you today OP? I've been thinking of you

knocknock · 26/11/2013 06:29

Hope you better OP
There is so many people in situation like you
When everything at once is going wrong

I know it won't help you or make you better but
there is no really good advice to help you dill
with things like that

Take care and hopefully everything would calm down

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