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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Bridget Jones + one... how do you meet someone when you are a single mum?

94 replies

Fluffybubble · 04/07/2006 22:24

I know that this is probably going to seem like a daft question...

I am a sociable person but virtually everything I do revolves around my ds (2 1/2). I have attempted to do the internet thing (Matchdotcom) and have now registered with directdating following recommendation from others on mn... I met up with one person from Match but he turned out to be an expert in the internet dating game (was still searching for others whilst seeing me), I am so naive!

I have been single for over a year now (longer if you count the year before x-dh finally left!!). My mum has recently said that it won't be too long before ds goes to school (school, not pre-school!!!) and I can get back out there... I can't wait another 2 1/2 years!!

I am sounding sad and desperate, I know . I am eyeing up any poor bloke (single!) that comes my way and I know that I must be giving out scary manic vibes!!

The main problem is that I was with xh for 13 years (since school), with only a few "flings" when we were "on a break" at uni... I am so rubbish at the whole dating thing...!!!

My friends have all paired up (I went to 7 weddings last year!!) and they are thinking about babies not nights on the town...

Any advice / inspiring tales welcome...

OP posts:

majormug · 12/07/2006 23:09

I have been single for 3 1/2 years..... had feelings for a man for most of that time and he repeatedly treats me badly...... sadly i have missed out on at least 2 good men because i was blinded by the bad one. whatever you do be choosy and make sure its right..... not like me!

nikkie · 12/07/2006 23:13

I do like a bloke at the moment but am talkingmyself out of it as he would be bad for me

majormug · 12/07/2006 23:16

why would he be bad for you....... so long as you know what youre doing. I went through a phase of attracting ony married men..... which has now made me very suspicious!!

majormug · 12/07/2006 23:16

why would he be bad for you....... so long as you know what youre doing. I went through a phase of attracting ony married men..... which has now made me very suspicious!!

VTired · 12/07/2006 23:25

Just caught this thread and completely understand where you're coming from fluffybubble.

My DS is 18 months and am starting to notice the opposite sex again.

Would never contemplate internet dating however since DS's father was registered on datingdirect.com (unbeknown to me) for most of our relationship!

majormug · 12/07/2006 23:27

I used to go on love@lycos which was ok.... met one bloke on there but chatted for 8 months before we actually met once.... when we did meet i realised he wasnt he one. it was fun though and kept me busy. my bro met his girlfriend online and they are really happy!!

Original poster

Fluffybubble · 13/07/2006 09:15

vtired! Am sorry, much better off without him I am sure! Can't believe the nerve of some men .

QE...really pleased for you, although 5(!!!!!) children, very very brave!! You are right, whatever will be will be...

Have been doing a survey of my friend's relationships recently...everyone (with a good relationship!) has met their partner through work or hobbies (again, when least expecting it) so this is probably the way to go. Internet dating has provided quite a nice distraction though .

When I think about it I am not sure why I am making such a fuss about it anyway, life is much more simple at the moment, and I don't have to share the remote control!!

Majormug, . It does go to show that there are good ones out there though, maybe they were all a practice run so that you will recognise Mr Right next time...

Nikkie, more details pls!!

OP posts:

nikkie · 13/07/2006 20:16

1- he has a sort of gf
2- he is very free (does what he wants whenevre etc)
3- he is 12 years older than me

Basically he is what I would have gone for pre-kids and we would have had a lot in common then -I am too responsible now

me23 · 13/07/2006 20:53

Hi girls can i join in? I've recently got out of a relationship that had well passed it sell by date.
we broke up 6 weeks ago. I have a 1 Year old dd.
a few weeks ago I went onto a chat room online was bored! ended up chatting to one guY exchanged msn, thought nothing of it, few weeks went by we were chatting more had loads in common. I'll cut to the chase he came round and we got on so well. am defo falling for him he staYed over tht nite (onlY kissed) thing is I reallY wasnt looking for anYthing, and he is 19 (I'm 24) and when we met he had a girl who he was getting together with but theY werent together.
hes gone to away on familY holidaY for a month and I miss him alreadY whats wrong with me?

sanchpanch · 13/07/2006 22:22

that's what lust does to you anbd thats why they call it the honeymoon period!!!!! because it doesnt always last for long, enjoy it.....

which chat room were you on?

majormug · 13/07/2006 22:24

do be careful nikkie....... thats a tough call.... sounds like my sort of ex.... doesnt like pressure, wants to be a lad and be free etc, i was the bit on the side as he was sort of with his other ex..... sort of says a lot about a bloke. maybe i am too cynical. but however if you are having fun and you are not likely to get hurt its up to you. the age thing isnt such a ig thing.... how old are you again?

majormug · 13/07/2006 22:40

me23..... sounds like you like him????!!!! it can happen like that and does..... family holiday is with his parents???

me23 · 14/07/2006 10:09

Hi, I guess I do like him, but I'm scared I didn't want to get into anYthing too quickly. The family holidaY is with his parents majormug althoug knowing mY luck it's actuallY with his secret g/f!
Sanchpanch, I was on Yahoo chat, You do get a fair few creeps on there but thats the same with everYthing isnt it.

nikkie · 15/07/2006 20:20

I'm 27 , I would actually rather have a fling type thing just to get over being single for so long so from that POV he would be fine (if he was single!)

SpaceCadet · 15/07/2006 20:23

im off men for life.

me23 · 15/07/2006 20:28

Hi nikkie, so does he like you too? what do you think you're going to do?
I'm sitting here tonight so bloody bored and lonely! could do with male company
but he in russia I haven't heard from him since he left!

bluejelly · 20/07/2006 22:22

Hi Ladies how are you all doing?
Just to let you know that the second date went really well, actually quite fancied him this time, and we are meeting for a third
Not rushing into anything ( we haven't even kissed yet) but am going with the flow and seeing where we end up...

mistressmiggins · 20/07/2006 23:19

hello
can I join this thread?

I am going on a date THIS SUNDAY
am really really scared, especiAlly as am not at my usual thin size (been comfort eating recently but thats another thread)
never met this guy - my friend said I was hiding behind the computer as we;ve been chatting for nearly 2 mths....so now we're meeting

feel so scared cos feel I can never trust a man again with my feelings/love

I know its too soon but just not sure I want the hassle.....still its only lunch

bluejelly · 21/07/2006 13:12

Oh good luck MM.
I know it's terrifying but if you;re anything like i was a couple of weeks ago ( when I had a blind date) after the first 5 mins I relaxed and started to enjoy it.
It's all good experience anyway, even if nothing comes of it.
Let us know how it goes

nikkie · 21/07/2006 21:02

Anyone give advice here please

fattiemumma · 21/07/2006 21:07

i am sooo jealous of all you who are dipping your toes in the water.

i would love to find a man...not for anything too serious...just a litttle flirt and a few nights out. would love to feel attractive again IYKWIM

have absolutly no way of getting out there at the moment though...not sure i'd be wanted if i did...i am at least 6 stone over my "fighting weight"

nikkie · 21/07/2006 21:10

It has taken me 5 years to get this far!

Original poster

Fluffybubble · 21/07/2006 22:23

Nikkie!!!!

Don't think it was easier when we were 15, just supposed to be "grown-ups" now so all supposed to be less rampantly hormone based!! Having read your posts, I don't think so...!!!

Maybe you need to take a leap before you become to far involved and ask him outright what his gf situation is...it sounds as if you have definately passed the colleague stage.... At least then you will know whether to release the hormones or reign them in again...

OP posts:

nikkie · 21/07/2006 22:27

Thats what everyone else says but I am too chicken
I have never really done the whole dating thing, was attached from 14/15 to one bf then another until I was 22 then it just stopped , can't get my head round it now

nikkie · 21/07/2006 22:31

also he does 'see' a lot of women (but none from work before ) and TBH it doesn't bother me as I'm just wanting 'fun' (get back into practice!) for now but he is getting slated by someof my friends for being like this!

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