why do we get so much hassle of our ex's?

[mumfor4]

Feeling quite angry. There are so many posts on here and other sites about controlling ex partners. Have been through the family courts for the children and the finances for the last four years and it's still ongoing. Does it ever end and how do you manage it to make life better? It just seems to be a never ending circle of game playing.

Best advice I can give is to detach from it as best you can. It's taken me nearly 5 years, but I'm in a place now that unless he is placing our children in direct physical or emotional harm, I shrug it off. He's unimportant and soooo not worth me getting wound up by him.

Nearly 3 years in. My Ex is a vile, controlling abusive bully. And he will never change but he really struggles with the fact that I and the family courts are standing up to him. I struggle to understand why he and OW are determined to infiltrate every aspect of my life.
Most of the time I simply try to disengage. Contact is through my solicitor and on the odd occasion when I do text him directly I switch my phone off to avoid the inevitable vile reply ( I text him yesterday to say that the children were sunburned and could he please ensure that they had sunscreen applied properly this weekend. The rey was the inevitable bitch fest. Which I've ignored)
I will not let him wear me down though. My kids safety is paramount and I will stand up to him for as long as nessecary. I do think things will improve when he and OW split. He thrives on having a cheerleader.

Mad isn't it ... so many bio 'dads' (ha!) not supporting their kids, and out of the ones that do I'd guess half don't support the Mum (which for the Mum it'd be easier if they fucked off) .. I don't know why, guess the easy way is to act like a child that never got their way and have a very long tantrum? :/

There is a reason they are exs. Either they are entirely selfish and self absorbed to not put the child first or they are downright nasty.

The reason my ex is an ex is mainly because he and I don't agree about what is best for DD - it's taken me over three years to realise that, though!

It's not that he doesn't care, just that he has different values - and him making life difficult for me is no different from me standing up for what I think is right for her.

Once I realised that, it became a lot easier to deal with him.

Thank you for your replies. Just feeling a bit down after some more mind games; should be used to it by now but it just seems as we're getting to the point of sorting it out he finds something else to do.