Dd doesn't want to go on holiday with her dad

[chickensaladagain]

She is 11 & he has alternate weekend contact
Offered more, he doesn't want it

Spends most of his weekends with his parents

He wants to take both dcs camping in the summer holidays

It's really not her thing, she also is old enough to be aware it's going to be a pressure cooker so doesn't want to go

Do I make her or should he take one without the other?

I don't want to cause division she is already painfully aware other dc is daddy's favourite but don't want her to be unhappy either

Any suggestions?

I wouldn't make her. I'd take it as an opportunity to have time just with her, specially if your other dc is their dads favourite (however weird I find that concept).

I've never understood it either but it's been like that for the last 6 years

Would it not just push her sibling and their dad closer together though?

Please don't make her go! She will really resent you for it and at 11 she's old enough to make her own mind up now.

At 11 I would not make her go!

Is her sibling a boy by any chance? After my x has just left, I watched him visit for his DDs birthday only for him to give a present to DS and spend all his time playing with his son. I was fuming. She didn't even notice thank goodness, says a a lot about how involved he was with her before our relationship finally fell apart.

I've never understood it either but it's been like that for the last 6 years

Would it not just push her sibling and their dad closer together though?

Not sure why that posted twice -stupid phone

Both girls

I'd say that if the favourited dd is happy to go alone then not an issue, let them enjoy their time together. If not happy then that'll be trickier.
Who knows, maybe having time just the two of them will make their dad appreciate your eldest more? For sure it will do good to you and your dd1, so who cares?
I don't see a problem with going on hols separately, think actually its a nice idea.

is there a contact order in place from the court?

No contact order, everything has been done 'amicably' if you can call it that

I think I would encourage her to go, at 11 she is able to make up her own mind but sometimes their decisions are not right in the long term. It's all a tough road to walk down.

TBH i would encourage your DD to talk to her father about it. As children get older they start to walk with thier feet, so to speak. Getting in the middle of it will only encourage the ex into shes stopping contact etc etc. I would tell her that your support her and her descions but she needs to talk to her dad about it and its his descion.

Yes, definitely DD and her Dad have to sort this out.

He needs to plan some aspect of the trip with him and have something to look forward to.

11 feels just a bit young to choose not to go if they have had regular contact.

As for favouritism, even resident dads are a bit lazy. DH finds one DD easier to get in with than the other and I have to knock heads together now and then.