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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

DD 6 wants to live with her dad :-(

10 replies

holstenlips · 06/05/2013 20:03

Shes back today after 2 nights with dad. Normally she sees him one night a fortnight. Shes been in tears and obviously hurting :-(
She says please can I let her live with her dad :-(
What can I do or say :-(

OP posts:

Fleecyslippers · 06/05/2013 20:24

:-( Give her lots of hugs, ask her to tell you what she liked doing at daddys, tuck her into bed and remember that tomorrow, she'll be back to being your happy little girl.

Movingforward123 · 06/05/2013 20:46

fleecyslippers said it well.

Sorry to hear your dd said that. has she said that before? It is probably because she doesn't have alot of time with her dad. could he make anymore time to see her?

Hulababy · 06/05/2013 20:47

I think she is probably just hurting at the thought of missing him and not seeing him for a fortnight. She would be asking for mummy if the situation was reversed imo, so it is not you - it is the situation that she is upset about.

Is it possible for her to see her dad more frequently? Or to arrange extra Skype sessions or something?

Original poster

holstenlips · 06/05/2013 22:52

He says he cant afford to see her more. He used to live nearby but moved to be nearer work. I take her as much as I can to see him and I really try to involve him.
Feel so sorry for my Dd

OP posts:

DaydreamDolly · 06/05/2013 22:54

I feel for you, it's heartbreaking. She doesn't mean it and is just sad to be saying goodbye. Like a previous poster said, she will be back to her normal self by tomorrow. Unfortunately this is what it's like for kids when their parents split up. My eldest DD misses her dad and it breaks my heart.

SirBoobAlot · 06/05/2013 23:03

DS screams when he leaves his dad. Screams. I have no suggestions, but some hand holding. Breaks my heart.

IsThatTrue · 06/05/2013 23:04

My dd said this once, it transpired that daddy never said no. She could stay up late, eat I've cream for breakfast, you name it. Could this be the case with your dd? Daddies house is like a holiday. Dd now 8 has now realised that rules and boundaries are needed and although she loves seeing her dad she can see that it wouldn't benefit her to live like that!

finickypinickity · 07/05/2013 13:21

Has she said why she wants to live with him?

It might be a good idea to do a bit of gentle questioning because he could be over dramatising the farewells and playing up his own grief of her leaving to return to you. She could be seeing that you are capable and very together because you dont make a fuss when she goes to dads whereas he falls to pieces when she leaves

I could be totally wrong but you sound very supportive and emotionally capable so its easier for the other partner to be playing your DD. if she loves you both very much which she obviously does.

Been there and done that with DD who was totally messed up by ex until a couple of years ago

Children do adapt quite to separation quite well in my experience if both parents are singing the same tune and not manipulating the kids emotions.

Hopefully its just a phase for your DD so lots of cuddles will sort things out.

finickypinickity · 07/05/2013 13:22

God, i just read that back, excuse the typo's and the fact that i sound like a cynical old bat when it comes to Ex partners

Branleuse · 07/05/2013 13:25

its heartbreaking isnt it. Just tell her that her daddy loves her and wants to see her lots and lots, but she lives with you and has a lovely place to stay at her daddys too and that everybody loves her, and that you understand it is hard to miss someone, but she will see him again soon, and speak to him on the phone.

It is hard for her, and it would be the same the other way round if she did live with him.
She has no concept of whats really in her best interests, but just make sure you still keep it as normal as possible for her at home.

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