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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

serious question: what do single parents live on if they can't work?

31 replies

welcometomysillylife · 07/04/2013 10:25

I am a lone parent to 2 dc and because of their additional needs I need to be home. I currently work part-time but am struggling with paying for specialist childcare in the hours after-school and I also have no financial support from their father (he doesn't work.) One of my dc is not always in school either due to her needs and I have to pay for her to be looked after if I am in work.

Basically, the numbers are not adding up (not earning enough to pay for all the childcare and all my outgoings) and I also need to be home more to concentrate on my dc.

If I took a career break of a year or two, what would/could I live on eg what benefits would I be entitled to? If I voluntarily gave up my job, would I be entitled to anything anyway? What do others do if you are in the same position or if your children are very young?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

colditz · 07/04/2013 10:28

Have you applied for DLA for your child with additional needs?

expatinscotland · 07/04/2013 10:31

Does the father contribute at all? I'm always amazed at how people get away with leaving their children and paying nothing for them in this country.

shrimponastick · 07/04/2013 10:32

/when I was a LP to a young DC I worked part time - between 18.5 hours and 30 hours - and received working families tax credit and child tax credits.

In the WFTC there was a childcare payment element. In that I got 70% of childcare fees paid for. So when Ds was in nursery for 3 days per week I paid for only 30% out of my own pocket.

I was fortunate in that my mortgage payments were relatively low, I received maintenance from xp (double what he pays now grrr...), and had an understanding employer with flexible working conditions.

I don't think giving up your job is the answer. It may be hard to get back into the work place - and working hard sets a more positive example for your DC.

You need a chat with a benefits advisor. If your DC have SN, then surely there must be funding available to cover some of the more specialist childcare needs/payments?

Hope you can sort it out OP.

Original poster

welcometomysillylife · 07/04/2013 10:33

Yes I do get DLA but not entitled to the higher rate.

And no, he does not contribute a penny (no earnings at all.)

OP posts:

colditz · 07/04/2013 10:34

Have you told tax credits that you get dla? Because giving up work is a last resort really. I would love to be able to work, honestly.

Original poster

welcometomysillylife · 07/04/2013 10:36

Thanks for that.

My dc can't access mainstream childcare eg after-school clubs and at the moment I can't find a registered provider that could cater for their needs.

This is so new to me - where do I find a benefits advisor? And who do I contact to support me with funding for children with sen?

OP posts:

Original poster

welcometomysillylife · 07/04/2013 10:37

I love my job. It has been my lifeline since everything fell apart for me.

OP posts:

shrimponastick · 07/04/2013 10:39

As the DC have SEN don't you have any contact with social services ? If not, you could phone up and find out from them?

BikeRunSki · 07/04/2013 10:43

Our Surestart Centre has a benefits advisor from the job centre who comes along every 2 or 3 weeks to give advice on benefits for young families in different circumstances.

Original poster

welcometomysillylife · 07/04/2013 10:44

I do have contact with social services but have been told after a long assessment that I do not qualify for funded support or extra services. my dc's needs are quite complex but they are not classed as a 'disability' (even though I get DLA.) If they were autistic, for example, I would get tons of support.

OP posts:

DeskPlanner · 07/04/2013 11:20

Is your ex trying to get a job to support his children ? Why can't he look after them while you work ?

kinkyfuckery · 07/04/2013 11:21

If they were autistic, for example, I would get tons of support.

Don't be so presumptuous about that!

If your DC qualify for at least the middle rate care, you should be able to claim Carers Allowance. Also your tax credits should raise slightly.

DeskPlanner · 07/04/2013 11:24

I would try and do anything other than give up a job you love, that you describe as a lifeline. Apart from the money factor it sounds like it does you good, doing something out of the home. It might not be so easy to get back into work if you stop.

Original poster

welcometomysillylife · 07/04/2013 11:40

Ok maybe not tons of support for autism - but more than I currently get which is nothing!

Ex refuses to look after them for me to work.

Thanks for the advice and I know you are probably right about not giving up my job completely.

OP posts:

DeskPlanner · 07/04/2013 11:44

Your ex is a dick. Somebody needs to support your children and if he can't or wont work, then he should look after them while you do. Has he said why he won't ? Does he see them at all ?

Original poster

welcometomysillylife · 07/04/2013 11:49

Yes he is being downright awkward about it and point blank refuses. He currently doesn't want to see them either though I am hoping he will calm down and change his mind.

OP posts:

DeskPlanner · 07/04/2013 11:55

Men like this disgust me. Hope your dc aren't very upset with not seeing him. Hope things get easier soon.

Original poster

welcometomysillylife · 07/04/2013 12:06

Yes they are extremely upset and don't understand what is going on.

OP posts:

kittycat68 · 07/04/2013 15:12

i have two sen children. one autistic we get no support from SS! funding is in crisis so unless you have a child with severe mental and physical issues you wont get any support at all!

If you gave up work you would be entitled to council tax benefit, child tax credits and income support. if you claim carers allowance it is deducted from the amount of income support you get. but you would get national insurance contibutions owards your pension as a carer.

Original poster

welcometomysillylife · 07/04/2013 15:51

Thanks kitty. So is that anywhere near enough to live on?

OP posts:

flaminhoopsaloolah · 07/04/2013 17:25

Hi there. Google benefits calculators to give you a rough idea of what you would get. In general terms, without working part time, no, it is not enough to live on, survive yes, to live - no.

HerrenaHarridan · 07/04/2013 21:52

How come no one has said citizens advice yet. They can help you access any an every available benefit and service relevant and they are the best thing since sliced bread
Hth

HerrenaHarridan · 07/04/2013 21:54

www.citizensadvice.co.uk/

Fairygen · 07/04/2013 22:07

If your children are under 7 years old, you are entitled to income support, or if you are on high level DLA they can be older.

You can also claim child tax credits.

www.gov.uk

montage · 07/04/2013 22:19

I would double-check any advice you have received from social services about benefits as IME the social workers we had contact with completely misinformed us about benefits - they all misinformed us in different contradictory ways but they were all wrong and seemed to have no clue that they were.

(Would love to move to this place where autistic children get lots of support though or where we could access any sort of childcare at all! Not sure that information is correct tbh).

"One of my dc is not always in school either due to her needs and I have to pay for her to be looked after if I am in work. "

Who is it that you currently employ to look after her? It might help to work out if it's the finance itself for childcare which is really the problem or if working has become impossible even if you had more funding for childcare.

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