Quick question....

[ArtyFartyQueen]

Hi All,

I have a meeting with DD's father plus others tomorrow to discuss access and I'm just wondering if the amount he see's DD is a good/fair amount? At the mo, he see's her on Saturday for a few hours - normally just takes her to the cinema or round the shops and she very rarely stays over at his and his wife's house. Would be really interested to know how this compares with people whose children do have contact with their father/mother.

split from my dp nearlly 3 weeks ago so far he hasnt even asked if he is ok never mind seen him so..... sounds fair to me

My children's dad sees them almost every Wednesday evening after school until 7 and he has them from 830 until 7 one day of the weekends we are at home. As a family we were away from home a lot of weekends and he hasn't pushed for this changing just to fit with him.

What is fair/good is depends completely on what is best for the child but if you both have that in mind you'll make the best decisions.

My 2 (8 and 6) see their Dad most Sundays. He is meant to pick them up at 10, but often doesn't come until 12/1. He had them until after dinner, although recently they've started getting home before 6, starving hungry.

He was having them to sleep over eow, but this has stopped too. I also offered him 1 weekday evening but he declined.

So at the moment, 1 day a week, but I know lots of people have a lot more

Every weds he has her for tea and takes her to swimming lessons usually 4.30 till 7pm and sees her every other Saturday from about 11 am until 7.30 pm.

Dd refuses to stay over at his and she prefers to be here however if she was more compliment I would be happy from anything from 50:50 to what happens now, I think any less than she now has would not be beneficial to their relationship.

The problem is exp has in the past expected dd and I to fit in to his requirements and that he could just ring and expect to see dd when ever he wanted, which is why she often refused and got out of the habit of staying over. I now insist on a routine for dd where she knows when she will be seeing him, she now very rearly refuses.

DD is with ExH 50% of the time that is two weeknights every week and every other weekend Friday night to Monday morning. This is the way DD (9) wants it to be.

Mine go every other weekend from Fri eve to Mon morning. And on the alternate weeks he has them Monday overnight.

When they were younger and I felt a whole weekend was too long to be away from them he had them 24 hours every weekend.

Having some time at your ex's home would be good to give him a chance to be more of a normal parent to them.