Anyone else trying to juggle a boyfriend with being a single parent?

8 replies

foihnula · 30/01/2013 11:49

Hey there :)
Any other lone parents trying to fit a new relationship around being a single parent? (Not complaining, just curious)

OP posts:

friendlyface12 · 30/01/2013 20:25

Yes, I began my current rela when ds was 2. I took it v slow and he did not him for months. I think it's important to make sure bf knows what an honour it is to be let into someone's family so that when he is let in he treasures you all.
My bf stays over once a week and this only starred about a year and a half into rela. Difficult to get out much so I think its important that when bf does come over it's like being on a date ie tv off, glass of wine.
I would want to be married if we were to move in- bit ole fashioned me!

Original poster

foihnula · 30/01/2013 21:10

Hello, completely agree with holding off intros til later on. I did introduce him to my DS a little sooner but only because it felt right and it's going fine, (though I sometimes struggle to feel like doing anything other than going to bed once DS is asleep)!
Also like treating some evenings like a home-date, seeing as nights out are few and far between.
Nothing wrong with being old fashioned by the way :P

OP posts:

friendlyface12 · 30/01/2013 23:04

How old is DS? Mine loves bf dearly - and bf is brilliant with him! The only difficulty I have encountered with the rela is DS' dad who tried to be pal-y with bf and then stabbed him in the back so to speak when bf didn't side with him against me! I should add that exp was violent and abusive to me and that is quite alot for someone to take on. How does your bf get on with exp?

Original poster

foihnula · 31/01/2013 11:35

He's just turned 2. And he's really very fond of bf, who is really good with him :) And shame about your exp. DS's dad is involved but it took him a while to step up to the situation, which bf can't understand (I ended up just not even worrying about it cus it was needless added stress) so it makes things a bit tense when it comes to being in the same room! We're all civil for DS though so that's what counts I guess :)

OP posts:

friendlyface12 · 31/01/2013 20:33

Oh that's good that you are all civil - how I wish it could be the same for us! Two is a good age for DS to develop a good relationship with bf over time.! DS often talks about bf to other people and he is important in his life. I just hope that we will become a little family soon and so I don't have to keep calling him my boyfriend (he's 42!). Do you think you would ever like to marry your bf immune future? Or are you happier living as single parent? I love being on my own in own space but after 4 years wouldn't mind trying the whole sharing a house with a man thing!

Original poster

foihnula · 01/02/2013 08:03

He does talk about bf a lot when he's not around which is nice for bf I think, as he's not really at the age of 'resistance'.
After having DS un-planned and studying at the moment etc. I think I'd like to wait a good bit of time, seeing as I've done things a little ahead of schedule up until now :P Also, it'd take a lot of getting used to as I'm used to living alone now, though it'd be nice if/when it does happen to be more like a proper family unit for DS. Just happy to be with someone decent, who's a good influence on DS for the time being :)

How did you meet your bf if you don't mind me asking? I'd gotten to the point where I'd accepted I might be single for a while, possibly years, (which is typical)!

OP posts:

equinox · 08/02/2013 05:31

So far as I am concerned whoever I go out will just have to meet my son right from the very off as I have little or no childcare (no family support and I cannot find a babysitter just at present). Luckily my age group (I am 49( the men have already had their own children so know what is entailed.

I am self-employed so I can date weekday daytimes a little but weekends the ex hardly sees our son so the bloke just has to put up with both of us at once lol.

Luckily it hasn't been a problem so far! Some men even prefer it as their own children have grown up etc. and they enjoy reliving it etc.

targaryen24 · 18/02/2013 17:05

Hi there (had a namechange but am the op).

That was why I introduced my DS to my partner sooner than some. I spend 99% of my time with him so it was evenings then weekends here and there once he was introduced.

I have the other problem, being that I'm only 22 and although my partner's 26 I think it is a shock to him how drastically different a child makes your life. (I think I forget because I've had the time to adjust & am so used to it that I can barely remember life BC to be honest)!

He's great with him though & I think it's just the unique situation & lack of previous experience that he's had to adjust to

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