anyone feel like they are just "surviving" and don't really have a life?

[dipndunk]

This is how i feel... feeling quite detached and like i am just surviving day by day. Not sure what the future holds and don't know how to change things. Im depressed, xh and i split in 2009 i felt better in a good place, until i met new partner and then we split. Feeling very lonely, worried about my son, doubt myself a lot. Yes, i think it is depression :-( i just want to feel me again, to be in control of my life, but i dont now how to do it. exh has new partner and i feel so lonely.. that horrible ache.. anyone had this?

my partner and i have been together nearly 10yr.we dont live together ,i care for the dcswhile he works/does his own thing.he admits im like a single mum.our issues aside

i get very lonely and feel like a duck-on the surface im bobbing ok,frantically paddling under the water

i know not making time for me or having friends in RL compounds the problem.im just so-and-so's mum,not zoo,a woman in her own right!

sadly,im not great at making friends and i dont have the finances for nights out/sitters

life can be very hard sometimes

somethings get easier as they get older though

in the mean time i come to MN when i need a laugh/rant/break and immerse myself in adult conversation!

Only a few months in but would echo how others feel and can't see it improving. Not at all interested in finding new relationship but think things will always be a struggle financially and in finding any time for me. XH has moved several hours away and I have very little support locally and no money to pay for sitters (if I scraped together money for a sitter I wouldn't have enough to do anything).

What about inviting someone over for a few drinks at yours once the dc are in bed? I'm trying to arrange this atm with some mums from playgroup.

Me op. I don't live, I exist. I've been a LP for 13 ish years but never have I felt as lonely as I do now. I had friends and work, I had interaction with grownups! I lost my job in the recession 2009 and I haven't been able to find a job since due to childcare availability/distance etc. My friends are all settled now and I only see one of them (not very often, we talk on the phone almost every day but it's not the same).

I can't drive, so i'm very isolated, some days I just don't want to get up at all. Every day is the same, watch "this morning", scour the job sites, clean the house, kids come back and fight, play games on the pc, go to bed and read. There's never anything to look forward to. It sucks. I could just fucking cry 24/7!

Yes, feel like just getting through each day, work, 4 kids,get home, cook, clean, shout at everyone, feel bad! Its a horrible feeling. I am better out of the house too and at weekends just get me and kids out as soon as possible to park etc. So many day to day things to fit in and nothing for me!! Generally go to bed hating myself, lost my temper with the younger two tonight...