Single mothers criticized for being benefit scroungers and yet lose out when they earn enough to support their family on their own.

[losingtrust]

I am potentially going to lose half child benefit next year dependent upon company bonus. What annoys me is that if I complain it is seen as greedy and I realize that there are many people worse off than me. What is annoying is that a couple earning an average 28 k each will keep this and overall my income will be a lot lower and I will be paying more in tax than theirs combined. Where is the incentive for mr not to cut down my hours to spend time with the kids and reduce childcare costs and top up with working tax credits and keep my child benefit which I need?

I understand what you mean. It's difficult to complain without seeming churlish when you are earning a reasonable amount and other lone parents are really struggling financially. In my case I took it most of it on the chin and the incentive to work full time was that there was greater potential for salary increases and promotions in the long term. However I do have a bee in my bonnet about inheritance tax and the fact our children lose out on £325k's worth of inheritance tax allowance because their parents aren't married.

Inheritance - what's that!! Can't see my kids getting anything.

I must admit my kids won't get anywhere near that amount either but then I do not expect tag from my widowed dad. I would far rather he spends it all himself!

No its Crap. While I agree in principle with higher earners losing it, I disagree that families where only one person works should lose it, and especially single families - that is ridiculous as presumably they have childcare costs as well!

It's crap and its not fair. I'd vote labour if I were you.

I disagree with the removal of child benefit because women are usually both the primary carer and the lower earners in a family, if they earn at all, and this takes away a tiny bit of independence. Family allowance, as it used to be known, was something that meant the children would be fed even if the Dad pissed all his wages away. There are still plenty of families where the father is controlling or violent, sadly (domestic violence is horrifyingly common - one in four women will suffer at some point in their lives and two women a week are killed by current or former partners). We shouldn't make rules that seem sensible on the face of it but harm the most vulnerable people in society.

It's also important to maintain the principle of universality so that everyone has a stake in the welfare state. It makes it less likely the better-off will say 'sod you' and pull the rug from under ordinary or poor people.

Oh, and children are good for society. Even people who don't have children benefit from other people having children - it's other people's offspring who will wipe their bums when they get old and pay their pensions. Societies that don't have enough children decline pretty damn fast.

I feel for you here - it is hard for everyone when parents split up.

My son is with me almost 50% of the time but the fact that she holds the child benefit book means I don't get any benefits at all and am constantly trying to juggle my full time job with my childcare commitments. When I checked to see what help I can get I was told to `speak to your son's mother about sharing the benefits'.

For a long time I only had heating on when he was permitted to see me and went without basic food staples so they were avaiable when he was with me at home.

On paper my son is not even my dependent!

losingtrust, it is all a balancing act and it is also about what motivates you too.

I get a kick out of knowing that I keep the roof above our heads. I know that state benefits will come and go & sometimes they are fair, sometimes they aren't etc etc - but at the end of the day, I personally feel proud that I've supported the 3 of us. It isn't always ideal & there are days during the summer holidays when I want to tear my hair out at the seeming impossibility of getting the kids to clubs, me to work & the unbelievable cost of the bloody clubs that they don't usually even enjoy!

Have you written to your MP to protest about the cut in child allowance? I know it seems pointless & futile, but if we all make a fuss then they have to listen.