DD is texting me about motorbike jacket to ride on FW's motorbike...

[ParsleyTheLioness]

DD is getting a motorcylce jacket for Christmas from f wit STBXH. So that she can ride on the back of his motorcycle on charity runs, which are slow, round the city, collecting pet food, presents etc. I have only reluctantly agreed to this, as had a job for many years seeing the result of motorcycle accident. Fwit knows about this. She wants to get a high fashion jacket, and I want her to have the safest one possible. She is texting because they want to order it from Amazon now. Do I ring her up and have an argument, or ring him up and have an argument? He knows how I feel about this, and is trying to be Cool Dad, so will probably let her have the less safe one. I have had a hell of a day at work, and could do without this on my one night that she is away. Do I just need to get over myself? DD is nearly 15.

How can you seriously ask if you need to get over yourself when you are worried about your child's safety?

What you need to do is research the safety of the one she wants compared to the one you want her to have and go from there.

If your "fuckwit ex" just wants to go against you for spite remind him this is his daughter's safety and life at stake. They won't be the only ones on the road.

Ok, so get them to put it on an Amazon wish list, and I can research it. I feel I am being pushed into deciding now, when it doesn't have to be done now, does it.

Will need protective trousers , boots and gloves too.

I see too many (always female) pillions in fashion leather jackets, jeans and heels. While the rider is in a really decent set of race leathers

Given that pillion will almost always come off worse than the rider in a collision, as a rider, it is just unthinkable to let a pillion get on your bike if they are less protected than you. Doubly so if it is someone you are responsible for.

Irresponsible bastard .
and I say that as a rider and lover of Fast bikes.

And don't get it mail order, it needs to fit properly.

At least go try some on to get an idea of size before you go on Amazon

Yes, you are right. I have rung her, and said Wish List it. I will not be pushed into deciding tonight. I get 1 night a fornight to kick back and drink wine in peace and I don't see why I should be pushed into it now, other than selfish arse has decided to do it now...

Ahh, didn't realise that Thix about the fitting. Will get them to go to a dealer somewhere, or no go. Get fed up of this Good cop, Bad Cop routine. I never get to be Good Cop...

When my kids push and push to get a decision NOW I tell them it is a flat no unless they give me time to think about it. Always works.

Just I don't think reminding him would help...at times he has seemed to hate her as much as he hates me...

X post, I mean remind about the safety issue, Just.

I bet he orders it anyway. He sounds unhelpful.

Nice that she rang and asked you though. That's a good thing.

I agree you need to let her have a proper, safe one and a proper fitting helmet as well. Fashion one can be worn for other stuff, ie when not on a bike.

ps charity bike rides are something I have always loathed, but at least they tend to be VERY slow, lots of bikes so much safer all round - she will be in far less danger than going awol on a bike on their own xx

I thought so Severed. Still hate it though. And no travelling TO the start of the race by bike, that has to be done by car.

Seriously, as per Thix, her dad should take her to a proper bike shop to get it fitted properly.

DP did this with his second set of leathers, and the difference between doing the measuring yourself and being fitted is amazing.

Excellent plan.

I'm glad you have that covered - you sound like a really good mum.

Dunno about that Severed...I'm just trying to keep her alive! On the other hand, I could cheerfully kill him

Know the feeling