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Lone parents

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Original poster

Families need fathers all over the news today

469 replies

Sheila · 03/02/2012 14:20

Bloody Louis de Bernieres also on R4 sounding off about his rights. It all seems so remote - I just wish XP was interested enough to demand contact with DS - usullay it's me naggaing him becuase he sees so little of his son. :(

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JuliaScurr · 07/02/2012 12:50

In my universe, we look at things like tax evasion, bank bailouts, privatisation, profiteering, PFI projects, stuff like that

MrGin · 07/02/2012 12:52

JuliaScurr if your link actually led somewhere I might actually read it.

< unimpressed >

JuliaScurr · 07/02/2012 12:52

We have the 'massive debt' because of the banking crisis.

Riakin · 07/02/2012 12:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

MrGin · 07/02/2012 13:01

We have the 'massive debt' because of the banking crisis.

Nooooooo. really ?

Thanks for that I had no idea there was a problem in the banking sector.

JuliaScurr · 07/02/2012 13:04

So why expect us to pay for it?

notfluffyatall · 07/02/2012 13:14

"Seeing as how you haven't got the slightest clue about my life and who I am or who my ex is, all your suppositions are based on your misogynist stereotypes of lone parents, aren't they?"

Well, you did share quite a bit of it on this very thread.

MrGin · 07/02/2012 13:19

So why expect us to pay for it?

FFS do you think I'm David Cameron ?!

I'm as angry about the situation as the next person, maybe more. We are all going to be paying for it, especially our children who'll be paying it off for through their lives.

Pointing out there is no more money does not equate to condoning the withdrawal of funds from important bodies.

Give me a link to a biased website on the one hand and I'll give you a biased website on the other. It's easy.

Latemates · 07/02/2012 13:22

Julia - everyone from every walk of life is paying one way or other for the debt the country is in.
Its awful and many people have already faced the consequences of the cuts and many more nervously wait to see the full impact of these cuts.
Peopel are being made redundant, losing their homes, unable to life the life they had previously. This includes the elderly, the diasabled, everyone.
Children in families that are togetehr, children with seperated families.

Its a sad part of life in these times. but we've been here before and i'm sure future generations will also experience simular in the future.

Thumbwitch · 07/02/2012 13:29

ahahaha. Riakin - really showed yourself up there. Good one!

MrGin · 07/02/2012 13:30

:o

Catz · 07/02/2012 14:03

I'm not sure whether anyone has actually linked to the Govt's proposals (apologies if they have), if not they are here (link downloads a pdf of the proposals) Look esp at p18-19

bananaistheanswer · 07/02/2012 14:34

Just another post to support Basil here. I keep wanting to add something but you are saying it 1st, and better than I could.

Truckulentagain · 07/02/2012 15:58

Ok then what should a father do:

The marriage ends he works full-time, and the mother part-time.

So now he's facing going from seeing his children every night, to two nights in fourteen, and a mid-week for tea.

Do posters think that is an ok level of contact?

NotYetEverything · 07/02/2012 16:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotaDisneyMum · 07/02/2012 16:49

'downsize his career in order to see them more' Shock really? Is that possible?

My DPs enforced downsizing redundancy has placed two households at risk of homelessness - his exW depends on child maintenance to pay her mortgage, and our bills have no chance of being paid - but that's ok, because DP gets the opportunity to see his DCs more? Well, no, he doesn't - their time with him is court ordered and in reality they spend more time with the childminder/babysitter than either of their parents Sad

Prior to the divorce DP was primary carer despite working F/T due to the timing of exW P/T shifts - so now-a-days the DCs often spend time with a third party when a parent is available Sad

origamirose · 07/02/2012 16:55

'potentially have the option to reduce his hours / downsize his career in order to see them more.'

Don't forget, if the NRP was able to do that their income levels would drop significantly which would have a substantial impact on maintenance payments which would constitute (for some people) 'financial abuse'.

[highly emotive topic for me, my DP is working all the hours god sends and is on the brink of health problems because of it, he earns a good wage and his ex is a SAHM with 2 school age children. If he reduced his hours to spend more time with his children she'd have a solicitor involved in less time than it's taken me to write this post]

Nibledbyducks · 07/02/2012 17:02

I think that NRP's who go to court for, or have legally arranged access agreements should be fined if they don't keep to them. It seems to me a ridiculous state of affairs when a RP can be taken to court for denying access, but a NRP is in no way punished for letting their children down.
I'm sick of hearing about the rights of NRP's to see their children, this is completely wrong, it's about the rights of the child to see the parent.

MrGin · 07/02/2012 17:04

The only way I could cut my hours ( and salary ) would be to move into a tent and eat acorns and pillaged eggs.

I doubt XP would let dd come and stay if that were to happen, so the idea I can just work 20 hours a week is not feasible for me.

I work my nuggets off day in day out so as to make a meaningful contribution in CM ( which I feel is very important ) and have a home where dd has everything she needs to feel like it's her home too.

Seeing her every other weekend is not ideal. It does mean I spend a good amount of one-on-one time with her which is good. But it's heartbreaking in many respects especially going home to a house which for all intensive purpose is set up for a small child.

MrGin · 07/02/2012 17:05

it's about the rights of the child to see the parent.

Which is exactly what the new legislation is about no ?

Nibledbyducks · 07/02/2012 17:14

Yes, but all of the discussion is about rights of access to those who apply to court, I'm suggesting that NRP's should be required to see the children who want to see them and fined if they don't. I don't see why NRP's shouldn't be required to see their children and punished if they don't bother.

JuliaScurr · 07/02/2012 17:37

Ooh, Nibled, they won't like that idea.
Had to go out for physio (2 out of 3 physio's still employed, one of the other two has a 7 week waiting list - no cuts to frontline services?)
Latemates doesn't your arm ache from all that forelock tugging? FGS; show a bit of backbone! We'd still have 7 yr olds up chimneys left to you.
Thumbwitch your hope of staying out of this argument is sadly misplaced; only 6% of proposed cuts have happened so fasr and already we have CSA charges, Rape Crisis cuts, Women's Aid refuge closures, highest female unemployment for 23 years, closures of day care for elderly/disabled, cuts in childcare tax credits etc etc.
Do you believe economics is a force of nature, beyond human control? Politically impartial?

MrGin · 07/02/2012 17:46

Thumb You're sadly misplaced. get back here. :o