How would you feel if someone offered you this for your birthday?

[soandsosmummy]

Background - I don't have much spare cash, my lovely friend became a single mum to a 7 and 9 year old a couple of years ago after her !"£$%^& partner left her after a miscarriage. She works fulltime ad looks after her girls all weekend. I know both girls reasonably well and my DD gets on with them.

Anyway its her 40th birthday in a fortnight. I asked her what she was doing and she said some friends had offered to take her out on the Saturday night but she couldn't go as she had childcare problems. She then changed the subject.

I am thinking in lieu of a birthday present of offering to take both girls from just before lunch on the Saturday and delivering them back mid afternoon on the Sunday just so she can go out and have some peace and even a lie in for once.

I'm not a single mum I've no idea how I'd feel if someone offered to do this and I'm here to ask you if you'd feel patronised or if you'd jump at it or if you'd really prefer a wrapped up present.

I'm not a single mum either but would have bitten your hand off.

Why not send her an email or text to offer, that way she has time to consider her response.

Not a single.mum, but that is a Dan idea and I would love it.

I'm not a single parent either but if some one offered me that as a present so that I could go out with my husband I would be delighted so I think you should go for it. I honestly can't see that she would be anything other than pleased.

Dan? Fab. Bloody autocorrect

i am a single parent and i would bite your hand off too. i would appreciate so much.

If someone offered me that as a gift I would be incredibly touched and grateful. What a generous idea.

She will absolutely love it (as I would, not a LP) and it will be even better because you know its something she really wants (assuming you think she does actaully want to go and the DCs weren't a convenient excuse?)

I'm not a single mum either, but that's a lovely offer and you sound like a lovely friend!

It's not patronising, it's doing her a massive favour and saving you the cash you'd otherwise feel you'd have to shell out, with it being a "big" birthday.

It's a lovely offer

Lovely idea. Why not text her the offer so she can think about it and not be put on the spot. Do it ASAP so she can enjoy the lovely anticipatin of knowing she can go out soon.

What a lovely friend you must be. I'm sure she will love it

To make it more of a present you could write your offer out on a nice card snuggled in a box with shredded paper/tissue paper wrapped in birthday paper with a label telling her to open it now.........

Wish you were my friend

I'd love that!!

but check first that she CAN rearrange the birthday plans that fell through. Because otherwise she might end up on her own with no kids but nothing to do.

Will you look after my kids?!

I am a single mum and would absolutely love an offer like that, you sound like a wonderful friend. As PPs have said, it is not at all patronising and I can't think of a single person who would turn your lovely 'gift' down.

I agree it's a lovely idea. I wouldn't be offended at all..

that was quick - what a lot of not lone parents posting on here

Bandwithering makes a good point. I know the friends who asked her out so I'll call them first and see if it can be reorganized then send her a text.

she's had such a rubbish time I just want something nice for her and I know a lot of her friends feel the same.

Just to clarify, I AM a single mum. Lot of married mums posting all saying yes that sounds like a great idea, and yes, they ARE right, but from my perspective, as well as somebody minding my kids for me so that I can go out, what I also need is to have more things to go out to!

If she turns your offer down, maybe it's because she couldn't round up the friends for that specific date in the end.

Maybe do a nice dinner at your house if she turns down the babysitting offer ? And don't be afraid to include her in whatever you're doing with other couples. I know that is the most exasperating thing for single people.

"she might end up on her own with no kids but nothing to do."

ahhh heaven

Yeah!!!! Any other night of my life I would agree and say ah heaven too!!! but not on a big birthday.

oh that's true

Thanks for the perspectieve Bandwithering I'll keep all of that in mind - it was views like yours I was hopign to get by posting here

You're a good friend. I can count on one hand the number of times anybody has offered to babysit for me if I ever need a babysitter. Luckily I have my m&d nearby. Not to moan (much)!

Why don't you offer her a 24 hour babysit as a gift and say either on her birthday night or at some other time to be arranged?

Or you could just offer to babysit for the evening?

I am a single parent, and I would love to have a friend like you, and even a present like that. I would love it if someone offered to babysit rather than me having to desperately hunt for one if I dare to want to have a life

The evening to get ready and the next day to recover or stay at a mates.

24 hours childfree - a priceless gift (and I'm not single!)