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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Ex has landed me in £300 debt - how do I pay it?

12 replies

FourFish · 08/10/2011 17:37

My ex is suppose to pay the childminding fees as he won't give me money directly - the arrangement is £80 per month for 4 hours care a week for one child (18 months). I have just started on an access course and asked my childminder to have the 18 month old for longer and to collect my 3 year old from preschool. She told me that my ex owed her £300 in arrers and she would like the debt cleared before increasing the hours.
I rang my ex and he said he was sorry but he had no money (he's temping as a youth worker) so couldn't help and that he would no longer be paying maintance. I've got a loan for £600 to cover childcare fees for the duration of the access course and have used half of that to pay the debt. However, this now means I don't have enough to complete the course! Short of taking out another loan is there any way I can pay this debt?

OP posts:

belledechocchipcookie · 08/10/2011 19:01

Have you applied for financial help from your uni/college? Access to learning fund?

ScaredKittyWitchyKitty · 08/10/2011 20:22

Don't get another loan whatever you do - it's the spiral into unmanageable debt. Could you get a crisis loan from the job centre? Look into it.

Go to the CSA regarding maintenance. Even the unemployed have to pay so your ex will have to. Get the forms, complete and submit them and chase them until you get some money. They will decide whether or not he can afford it, not him.

hairylights · 08/10/2011 20:42

But this is his debt, not yours, surely?

purpleturtletoise · 08/10/2011 20:43

His debt it may be, but I can understand the POV of the childminder saying she won't take the children on for longer hours unless it's paid.

WibblyBibble · 08/10/2011 21:19

Your college should have a childcare/access fund? Go to your student union and ask! Also to the CSA, when you get chance. He sounds like a complete dick, he should definitely be paying at least something.

Original poster

FourFish · 09/10/2011 09:08

Don't you have to pay for the CSA now? my outgoings currently match my income (and only just ) so I couldn't afford anything else.

The college are paying the fees of the access course and subside the college creche but i'm happier with my childminder - my eldest had a very bad experience at an awful nusery which means she doesn't settle in creche's but she knows the childminder and is happy there. So no help for private childcare basically which is me being stubborn but I wouldn't do the course if i thought my children would be unhappy.

Will look into crisis loan - thanks

OP posts:

corlan · 09/10/2011 10:15

You don't have to pay for the CSA at the moment fourfish.(The government has plans to introduce payment but it may not be for some time - if ever)

Your XP should be paying support for his child if he has an income - he can't just say he doesn't want to pay!

gillybean2 · 09/10/2011 14:38

Also ask your CM and anyone else your ex pays directly to tell you immediately if he doesn't pay, not wait till it racks up to nearly 4 months worth of debt.
Would the CM be prepared to take your ex to the small claims court for it?

undercoverwizard · 09/10/2011 17:11

Go to the CSA asap. It's not your fault if he's skint. I have no sympathy. Posts like this make my blood boil (his behaviour obviously). If he was with you he would be paying towards his child's upkeep, why is it so different now? Does your college have a hardship fund? You may be able to get money you don't have to pay back or money that they can lend you interest free.

Original poster

FourFish · 09/10/2011 20:08

Thanks everyone - gillybean2 luckily its only the CM he's meant to pay! I should have learnt my lesson when he failed to pay our rent for 4 months when we were together, thank heavens for an understanding landlord. So undercoverwizard even if we were together i doubt he would be paying towards his childrens upkeep. Have learnt my lesson and will not expect a penny in future. I'm not going to bother with the CSA as from what I've heard they are pretty ineffectual and my ex would find every way around it possible and make things difficult which would upset the girls.

Off to the job centre tomorrow to ask about loans. Am also going to finish the access course, try and work for a couple of years to pay of debts and then go to uni to do the NVQ. Original plan was to do the NVQ in September but I hate having debt so need to priotise that. I hate how my ex can still upset my life even though I left him a year ago.

OP posts:

missmogwi · 09/10/2011 20:48

Hi if you have a look on the moneyexpert website there is a section on grants etc for students and student parents, search for education grants.
I didn't see it until I'd finished my access course but I could have applied for some as a LP. It's worth a try.

I've tried doing a link but made a pigs ear of it as on phone.

Good luck, don't give up.

Daisy1986 · 09/10/2011 22:45

Go through the CSA. Its worth it to get a little bit of support as it soon adds up. I have found them to be quite good at their job and they have chased up ex and reassessed him 8+ times so far this year as he keeps popping in and out of jobs but his arrears is mounting and he will have to pay it sooner or later. They ring you back with an update within 48hrs and have generally been quite timely with things

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