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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

lack of sex!!!

15 replies

everything2me · 07/08/2011 00:35

When I was with my husband, I never wanted sex. BlushNow ive been happily separated for 6 months, its all I can think about! (but not with him of course!).Wink I dont want to get into a relationship for quite some time, as Im still healing from the abusive marraige. Think the kids need time too. Do I just need a good book?:o

OP posts:
Grockle · 07/08/2011 00:45

I was like that too. Well, still am. No idea what to suggest - a rabbit & a good book? Wink

ChasingSquirrels · 07/08/2011 00:47

hmm, I think a good bonk would be better - I well remember feeling like that!

Grockle · 07/08/2011 00:49

Well, there's nothing like the real thing but it can be a bit tricky when you are on your own. You're not allowed to jump on the nearest bloke

ChasingSquirrels · 07/08/2011 00:55

I know, I know - though I felt like it at times :)

Grockle · 07/08/2011 00:57

Me too. Unfortunately, it's frowned upon.

Original poster
everything2me · 07/08/2011 01:05

lol. this is so unlike me. I have told myself, I need to be single for at least 5 years, in order for it not to be a big deal for the kids. 5 years Confused !!!
How am I gonna do that? And dont know if I will ever want a relationship again anyway, after what Ive been through. Becoming a Matt Cardle stalker, YUM Hmm

OP posts:
MeMySonAndI · 07/08/2011 12:31

5 years??? it is not even 5 years from my split and in that time I have dated 8 guys, being engaged once and in another committed relationship for more than 2 years.

But perhaps I shouldn't be critical about your time scales... I was sure I was never going to be with anyone else after the split.

BTW, my child is fine. I only introduced him to the serious relationships and I can say that he got many good things from the first one, and for the second one... he has drawn a lot of support and help in difficult times, to the point that he often refers to him as "half dad" and "the best dad in the world".

Original poster
everything2me · 07/08/2011 12:41

Its just been really hard on me and the kids. It was a relationship I never thought I would be strong enough to leave, but I did it :o . In all honesty, Im scared to how xh will react if I got into another relationship, you hear all types of stories. For now, me and the kids are good, but I cant take that chance, he could make life hell for us all :(

OP posts:
MeMySonAndI · 07/08/2011 12:45

You don't have to hurry up, but you don't have to see divorce as the end of the story but as the beginning of new possibilities.

itsnotpossibleisit · 07/08/2011 20:50

I got myself a rabbit as I was feeling exactly the same than you. Sex with ExP after DD was born was nil and the few times we did it (3 times in 2 years) it was the worst experience in my life. I didn't feel like having sex for very long time but two months after separeting I had this urge and as I do not want any relathionship at the moment, I am not ready at all, a friend of mine suggested a rabbit. I never thought of buying one, I was not sure if I would like it anyway but I have to say I should have been introduce to it much earlier in my life and I would have saved myself a lot of problems Grin

WillIEverBeASizeTen · 07/08/2011 22:41

6 months? Lightweight...2 years :(

DrunkinChargeofLaptop · 17/08/2011 23:06

this has shocked a few people, but it worked for me. Have you tried suggesting to a single, male (hunky) friend you could pay him for it? We agreed 99p. He was dead willing. And no strings! Smile

HauntedLittleLunatic · 17/08/2011 23:09

I know the feeling - only just coming up to 6m though.

TBH it is not teh lack of sex per se (I can deal with that myself). It is more the lack of intimacy, a hug and a good snog that I miss....not that I got any of that before we split.

QueenofWhatever · 18/08/2011 12:52

Rabbit, then friend(s) with benefits before cautiously embarking on relationship after two years with someone I've known for a long time. Worked for me!

BTW I got my FWB from Guardian Soulmates and we're still really good friends. And well done for leaving, I too left an abusive relationship and it takes a long time to get over it.

LeoTheLateBloomer · 18/08/2011 13:00

Everything you have jumped into my brain and stolen my thoughts!! Seriously, your OP could have been written by me, it's exactly how I feel!

I find myself drooling over eyeing up the most inappropriate men, from young delivery drivers to my very handsome doctor Blush Grin

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