Decisions on medication

[Thistledew]

I'm not sure if this is the right place for this post, but am after opinions or advice so I can help my friend.

His divorce will be finalised in a couple of weeks. He and his soon to be ex-wife have been separated for nearly 3 years.

They have a DD aged 9 and a DS aged 7. My friend is a devoted dad and the children stay with him most weekends and holidays.

When he went to pick them up last week, their mother told him that their DS had been prescribed Ritalin for ADHD, and said that he was to give him the drugs.

My friend is shocked. He does not believe that his DS has ADHD. He has spoken to the school who agree that his DS is just an energetic 7 year old, who at the very most perhaps needs some help dealing with his feelings about his parents separation, but that his behaviour is not problematic or stopping him learning.

What can my friend do? He thinks that apart from this issue it is best for the children to live with their mother during the week, but does not want his son to be given unnecessary medication.

he needs to go to speak to the child's doctors and find out hwat ahs been prescibed and why

The child's mother took him to a private Dr and not the normal GP. If my friend is able to find out which Dr it was, does he have a right to see the medical notes?

if he has PR (and presumably does as they were married) he has a right to be consulted on all things medical /educational etc .

but if child is on medication like this then would be bad idea to not give it on the weekends - is isnt medication you can start/stop

Yes he has a right to know about medical notes, prescriptions etc.

First thing he should do is contact his ds's GP and find out more about the medication. I would assume that his STBex tried to get it via the GP first then went private after refusal there?

Then he should ask the ex for the details of the private doctor and contact them to find out more. He should also expres to this doctor that he is unhappy about this decision and ask on what basis teh medicine was prescribed as the GP said it was un-necessary (assuming they say that) and make it clear that you disagree with this prescription.

How far is he prepared to take this? He could insist on a second opinion and take it to court to ask them to rule on this. He could ask for residency to be changed to him if he feels he can handle the behavioural issues while his ex can't. But before all that perhaps he should speak to his ex and try and find out why she went to the private doctor after the GP refused and ask what he can do to help her cope better with ds that doesn't involve the medication.

I would second the advice about giving the medication at the weekends. I've taught kids on ritalin and on days when they hadn't been given it for one reason or another it was not good for anyone.

Sadly, I've seen a few children put on ritalin who really shouldn't have been. I would agree your friend should definitely do something about it but I wouldn't have a clue where he should start. Perhaps he needs to get some legal advice.

Perhaps, the first thing to do would be ask to see a copy of the private paed/psychs ADHD assessment/report which should have been sent to dad, anyway before starting meds. It would be helpful to everyone to share any concerns about the childs behaviour in co-parenting him.