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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Ex taking 2 tents camping: him + 1 child in 1; 1 child on own in other

57 replies

WishIWasRimaHorton · 20/05/2011 21:47

Is this ok?

I think not.

Kids aged 4 and 2. So 'best' solution is him + 2yr old in 2 man tent; 4 yr old in 1 man tent next to him.

But really. That's a no, isn't it?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ChasingSquirrels · 20/05/2011 21:48

no, that's not ok.
But all 3 of them should fit in the 2 man tent when they are only that small.

compo · 20/05/2011 21:49

No way would I leave a four year old in a tent on their own

Original poster

WishIWasRimaHorton · 20/05/2011 21:50

ah yes, but the thing is - the 2 man tent is expedition stylee. i can't even sit up in it. so him + 4yr old + 2 yr old will not fit in. (he is 6ft+)

he will not buy another tent. says it's unnecessary.

OP posts:

Moodykat · 20/05/2011 21:52

Then he is a pilchard! 4 is too young definitely!

Original poster

WishIWasRimaHorton · 20/05/2011 21:53

ok.

so what do i do? been in court this week and shared residence has been ruled. do i say no unless you buy a 3 man tent?

OP posts:

ChristinedePizan · 20/05/2011 21:55

Say that he can't go? Borrow a tent off someone? You can't leave a 4YO in a tent on their own, that's ludicrous. They'd be better off in a tent that they can fit a double airbed in and all cuddling up together

ravenAK · 20/05/2011 21:55

He's being daft - you can get a serviceable 2/3 man tent (ie. for camping in the UK in May as opposed to halfway up Kilimanjaro...) for about £30.

Could you offer to go halves with him?

Original poster

WishIWasRimaHorton · 20/05/2011 21:56

thank you.

wish me luck...

OP posts:

Moodykat · 20/05/2011 21:56

Could you just reason with him? Surely a 4 year old could wake up and get out of the tent without him realising?
Without knowing the man I wouldn't know what to say. If it was my DH then I would say "you are not taking the children camping unless you are all in one tent". Can he borrow one?

Pictish · 20/05/2011 21:56

Tell hin that they should all sleep in one tent, as it will be much warmer....and keep their gear (clothes and cooking stuff) in the other. That's just common sense!

Slambang · 20/05/2011 21:56

I'd say 100% NOT OK

Not because of any over-hyped fear about child snatchers but simply cos camping is dark. At night the children will probably never have experienced pich blackness like it with no street lights, night lights etc. Very scary on a tent on your own even for a 14 year old let alone 4.

Owls hoot, foxes yelp etc - 4 yr old wakes up, is confused, wants to find daddy and stumbles off in the wrong direction. Daddy isn't aware because he is in the other tent...

Original poster

WishIWasRimaHorton · 20/05/2011 21:57

ah but the ex, you see.. any outdoor gear has to be suitable for everest. and i am not talking base camp ;)

OP posts:

Pictish · 20/05/2011 21:58

They WILL all fit in the 2man expedition tent to sleep - 6ft or not.
Silly man.

Original poster

WishIWasRimaHorton · 20/05/2011 21:59

ok girls. thanks. you are right. i KNEW it was wrong. i just need some guts.

and no moodykat - i can't reason with him. if i could, i may just still be married...

OP posts:

Original poster

WishIWasRimaHorton · 20/05/2011 22:00

pictish - i'm not sure. i can't breathe in the tent. it is soooo small. and, having slept in a double bed with the 2 year old, i know just how much she moves in the night. not sure anyone would get any sleep...

OP posts:

Blu · 20/05/2011 22:01

Doubtless the two tents will be pitched so cloe they almost touch, and if the doors are facing each other, I'm nt sure what could happen, really. You can hear EVERYTHING on a campsite - if the 4 yo undid the zip, his Dad would hear it. I would if it were me, anyway.

Is the 4 yo v sensible, and confident?

Will they be on a family campsite - or on a cliff edge in the wilds?

everyspring · 20/05/2011 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ravenAK · 20/05/2011 22:02

Could you then sell buying a new, bigger, 4 season tent as a sensible investment, which the dc will be jolly glad of come their D of E?

YANBU - the poor 4 year old would probably be terrified.

Blu · 20/05/2011 22:02

But of course a 2 yo and a 4yo can fit in the space for the second adult in a 2-man tent, esp if they sleep top to toe.

compo · 20/05/2011 22:02

My dh wouldn't hear anything once asleep
honestly he wouldn't

ivykaty44 · 20/05/2011 22:03

I would explain slowly to him that the 4 year old in tent on his own will be a little scared but probably settle. It is the 1am pee in the night that will casue the biggest comotion going when he can't unzip the tent door to get out - as he does at home its a door and short walk to the bathroom. So a child trying to get out of said tent alone and in the dark and disorintated, next move is to scream or pee inside the tent - the later will probably happen.

So what will he then do with urine all over sleeping bag and tent

Inertia · 20/05/2011 22:03

He's being an arse. A 4yo cannot sleep alone in a tent. He needs to fit both children in with him , either squished in that tent or in a bigger one.

Beamur · 20/05/2011 22:06

No way should a 4 yr old be one their own in a tent - not sure a site would allow it anyway, surely they can all fit in together. Even in a teeny tent.

Original poster

WishIWasRimaHorton · 20/05/2011 22:09

oh god forbid that DS pees in the tent. no food / drink / baby wipes / shoes allowed in beloved expedition tent.

i was forbidden to take my washbag in the tent for fear the soap leaked onto the groundsheet. (oh and no sex in the sleeping bag either - down, you know. doesn't do mositure )

anyway, i digress. i do feel empowered to have 'the conversation' with him. safe in the knowledge that i am not actually being entirely unreasonable.

i would happily 'buy' a family tent with him to share for camping trips. am dreaming of big wendy house style thingee i can stand up in. but that would NEVER DO... oh no. that would have derision poured upon it from 6+ ft..

OP posts:

EggyAllenPoe · 20/05/2011 22:14

persuade him to get a four man tent - they are light enough for me to carry and can be pitched by one adult.

a nylon four man vis a vis should be cheap as chips from ebay (or even tescos) and you can fit, say, a travel cot in one side, toddler bed in the other with him in the inner-less space between. probably easier to get sleep that way.
his two-tent notion is ridiculous - and what is more could cost him more in site fess than a single larger tent.

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