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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Ex taking 2 tents camping: him + 1 child in 1; 1 child on own in other

57 replies

WishIWasRimaHorton · 20/05/2011 21:47

Is this ok?

I think not.

Kids aged 4 and 2. So 'best' solution is him + 2yr old in 2 man tent; 4 yr old in 1 man tent next to him.

But really. That's a no, isn't it?

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davidtennantsmistress · 20/05/2011 22:16

good god no, I wouldn't let my 5 yo do it, no way. not even in the back garden with 2 dogs keeping guard over him. :o

PFB! good luck telling x this - totally unreasonable - besides the kids - 4 & 2, they can top & tail on a blow up matress thingy and a cover over them - sorted. (besides tell him that way he only pays for one pitch not 2. hope he wouldn't leave one alone whilst taking the other to the loo/showers etc? )

ivykaty44 · 20/05/2011 22:17

well if no peeing in tent is allowed - he best not leave said dc in tent alone then - make sure both dc are in tent with him and he can supervise..unless you want to piss on his chips then just don't mention it

Original poster

WishIWasRimaHorton · 20/05/2011 22:18

oh yes, i hadn't thought about the two pitch thing. i had thought that he might not fit the two tents on one pitch but not that he would be charged for two pitches.

EAP - yes, that is my preference. a nice normal 4-man tent. but that is too 'normal' for ex.

OP posts:

Pictish · 20/05/2011 22:21

Silly man with his high tech, look-at-me expedition tent for a family camping trip.

My dh is a keen mountaineer and uses his expedition tent for that, and we all use the 5 man tent when we go camping with the kids.

Those wee tents may cost a bomb but they're useless for family camping. He should really invest in a cheapo four man dome tent or something....or would that not be ostentatious enough for him?

Original poster

WishIWasRimaHorton · 20/05/2011 22:22

pictish - my decree absolute is due soon. may i marry you?

OP posts:

Pictish · 20/05/2011 22:24

Ahhh I see I am right! Ha ha!

Does he even use the stoopid tent for what it's intended for?

davidtennantsmistress · 20/05/2011 22:25

I assumed one tent = 1 pitch.

Original poster

WishIWasRimaHorton · 20/05/2011 22:27

pictish - no, no longer. my fault apparently. although as far as i can tell, he only ever did one expedition.

dtm - he alleges to be a wild camping dude. no need for pitches. i can probably spin him the 1 tent = 1 pitch line and he will not be able to argue it.

OP posts:

Beamur · 20/05/2011 22:30

You can usually have one tent + a pup tent on many pitches.
My DP would also be drooling over the high tech ones and the smaller the better, but concedes to my need to be able to stand up with our family tent.
We usually camp with one big tent and either 1 or 2 small tents, the older kids used to share, then as they go older refused to share and each had their own, but this was at ages 14+ so not such a worry to be solo in the tent.

Pictish · 20/05/2011 22:33

We are wild campers too, so yes, that argument won't work.

Honestly - it has to be the three of them in one tent and the gear in the other. End of.

Or buy a sodding family tent. They are not expensive, and out in the wilds there's no-one to see his non recommended by Trail magazine dome job.

He can always lie to his mates and tell them he took the posh one.

Latemates · 20/05/2011 22:33

Do you think he may be winding you up?
I do think the tent thing is totally daft and that's why I ask.
However, you mention shared residency and I wonder if trying to tell him how to look after his own children is necessary after all do you really want him telling you how to look after the children for every activity you plan?

Beamur · 20/05/2011 22:36

You can buy expensive and hi spec family tents.

www.nordicoutdoor.co.uk/

Pictish · 20/05/2011 22:38

I agree Latemates - I'm not for the non resident parent being bossed around by the other.....BUT on this occasion, there is no need for that kid to be kipping on his puff.
The man is a dafty.

Original poster

WishIWasRimaHorton · 20/05/2011 22:39

latemates - hello again

generally no, no need to tell him how to conduct affairs. but in this instance - his insstence is that it is fine for DS4 to sleep alone... really?

OP posts:

Original poster

WishIWasRimaHorton · 20/05/2011 22:41

sorry - DS aged 4, not DS4...

OP posts:

davidtennantsmistress · 20/05/2011 22:44

agree - neither XH or I get involved with the goings on with the other's 'time' however if there's something dangerous about to occur/hs occured then yes we do question it - the childs safety is the most important thing.

(fwiw I wouldn't be keen on DS doind wild camping - but as I say PFB!. bet by the time no 2 is his age i'll be letting him swing off the light fittings & rewiring his own plugs :o)

belleshell · 20/05/2011 22:46

omg i wont let my 12 year old street wise DS sleep in a tent by himself..........

Pictish · 20/05/2011 22:46

Wild camping is the dogs!

davidtennantsmistress · 20/05/2011 22:50

Pictish · 20/05/2011 22:52

Hehehe - ok. I shant say any more.

We have never used a campsite. Not once.

whiteandnerdy · 20/05/2011 23:06

I've done alot of camping with my kids. It sounds far from ideal, but my experience is that putting a pup tent as close as another bedroom in say in a family tent you hear your child moving around on the air bed just as clearly, you hear the zzzzzzp, as they open their tent zip, and the children can simply talk to you throught the tent. (but my kids are much older than 4 )

Therefore it's knowing your child, how mature they are, how THEY feel about it, what rules you give them, will they have any problems following rule, how they will be supervised.

As long as your using a good camp site the VERY VERY WORST that will happen is your child will wonder off get lost and end up being resuced by other campers in floods of tears and wander round with your child trying to find their tent again, AND GENERALLY HAVE A REALLY REALLY AWFUL TIME OF IT.

Original poster

WishIWasRimaHorton · 21/05/2011 19:59

well, i had a conversation with ex today and ... he has agreed they will all squeeze in the 2 man tent. he said 'i'm not spending a fortune on a new family tent'. i explained that it wasn't necessary to do that - why not just buy a wendy house one. of course he then said 'well it needs to stand up in the wind and gales ' etc etc. i pointed out that it was probably quite UNLIKELY that he would be wanting to camp with DCs aged 4 and 2 in wind and gales. and that if the weather were really bad, it would probably be quite miserable for very young kids, so they probably wouldn't stay. he didn't seem convinced but did mutter something about 'seeing if they have anything on in the sales in go outdoors'. so - thanks for helping me stand my ground on this one!

OP posts:

Blu · 21/05/2011 21:29

By the time he has wrestled with getting the 2 yo dressed and undressed in a cramped narrow tunnel of an expedition tent he will be more than ready to head for GoOutdoors.

Hope for an hour of rain - playing 'SNAP' in a tiny tent with 2 small children will soon wear thin.

DS, 9, sleeps by himself in his own tent - he loves it.

Pictish · 21/05/2011 21:33

Good point Blu - yes, he will see what jolly fun it is to be crammed into a tent so small you can't even sit up in it, while entertaining two kids.

Family camping requires a family tent and that is all.

Blu · 21/05/2011 21:37

And PMSL at 'wind and gales'. We have camped in some torrential rain and windy nights and fared v well in a normal family tent - tell him all he needs is something with 3000 hh. Tents are made for this country, after all.

If he doesn't need a Sherpa and oxygen for his planned trip, a good family tent will be fine.

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