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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Well that's it then, officially. Not a penny left in the bank.

85 replies

LostInSockLand · 07/05/2011 23:15

Very scared, totally fed up. I could have gone to see a friend tonight (Haven't been out since January and by that I don't mean out out, I mean visiting a friend), I can't even afford to get to her house. Sigh. Any funny threads someone could point me to?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

DooinMeCleanin · 07/05/2011 23:16

Do you have what you need (gas and leccy keys topped up, food etc.) until you next get paid?

GypsyMoth · 07/05/2011 23:17

was it such a surprise to find no money left??

UnrequitedSkink · 07/05/2011 23:21

God that's depressing - poor you. How long til you get more money? Have you got enough in the house to be going on with? Can you stick something on ebay or have a car boot sale or something?

Original poster

LostInSockLand · 07/05/2011 23:22

My bills are paid yep, first priority obviously...I don't have meters, everything is on direct debit. Just feeling grumpy because I have no idea how i'm going to manage

OP posts:

Original poster

LostInSockLand · 07/05/2011 23:25

I'll get £98 ish on Friday US, tis all i've got coming in at the moment!

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MavisEnderby · 07/05/2011 23:31

Is that for rent/elec/gas/water/food?If so is crap xx

CarGirl · 07/05/2011 23:33

Original poster

LostInSockLand · 07/05/2011 23:34

That's for all my bills (which I spread out over the year) and food yes, luckily I dont have to pay rent at the moment....every cloud as they say! Nightmare!

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UnrequitedSkink · 07/05/2011 23:41

How utterly utterly shit for you, you have every right to be grumpy. I'd be totally miserable, and I've been down all day about never having enough money. Am having a think about things you could do to raise some extra cash.

Original poster

LostInSockLand · 07/05/2011 23:48

I've been trying to think but there's nothing really...i've not a lot anyone on ebay would want. Can't do a car boot...I can't drive and have no way to get to one (none around here). I really, really need to get another job but it's just hopeless.

OP posts:

CarGirl · 07/05/2011 23:50

why is it difficult to get a job?
What do you do, what's your location etc.

Just in case we can brain storm and come up with something!

Original poster

LostInSockLand · 08/05/2011 00:07

I've done Admin since leaving school (so no skills in particular) but I always jobsearch everything in the area, i'd happily clean loos, i'm not proud believe me! The problem I have is that most of the jobs i've looked at have an early start and I cant get childcare for mornings. There is a breakfast club at dd's school but it doesn't start until 8am which is the start time (or earlier) for most jobs i've seen. Also a huge shopping centre near us which I worked in before I had children and they are open late so with all jobs advertised, employees are expected to be flexible and work late shifts (until 9pm, 12 over Christmas), I dont have childcare for that either.

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CarGirl · 08/05/2011 00:11

Private cleaning work? Ironing as well?

Pays better than most work around here!

Original poster

LostInSockLand · 08/05/2011 00:17

I haven't seen any private cleaning work advertised for a long time and it isn't the greatest of areas I live in...no-one around here really would pay to get the ironing done. Saying that, I could advertise but would they expect me to collect and deliver it because obviously I wouldn't be able to do that with no car?

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CarGirl · 08/05/2011 00:29

All you can do is try, advertise on netmums etc where it's free to do so.

If you're on benefits can't you earn £20 per week declare it and it doesn't reduce your benefits - may be worth it to increase your contacts?

Could you swap babysitting with a friend to have each other children overnight so you could go out babysitting to earn money?

Set up as a childminder or a mothers help?

DooinMeCleanin · 08/05/2011 00:30

Many large employees are willing to be flexible wrt start times. It's always worth applying and asking if you could work from 8:30am instead of 8am.

Shopping centers will have 10-2 hours going. Those shifts are few and far bewteen, granted, but it doesn't stop you sending off a CV just incase.

Private cleaning and ironing you would advertise yourself. Put up flyers in local cafes, soft play etc. advertising your services. Of course if you earn more than X amount of money (it used to be £20) you need to declare it and will be taken off your benefits, but if you are lucky you might end up with 16 plus hours work from it and would be able claim TC as self employed. Your lone parent advisor would be able to give you more advise on this.

Things like Avon, Bettaware etc. can be usefull at bringing a few extra pounds each month and can be done with the dc in tow or while they are at school.

I would imagine most people would be happy to drop off their ironing before work and pick it up on their way home.

Original poster

LostInSockLand · 08/05/2011 00:48

I wouldn't need to declare anything DMC as I'm not claiming benefits...long story! Having to live on tax credits now for god knows how long.

Re: Avon, Betterware I did consider but aren't these commission based? Because that could be a nightmare in terms of tax credits, rent rebates etc....an ever changing income could cause huge problems with overpayments/claims being cancelled etc..(just thinking from experience of when I did overtime or holiday cover in the past...so many cock-ups it was laughable).

With the mornings it wouldn't just be dd i'd have to find childcare for because I also have a 14 year old (too old for childcare but too irresponsible to be left to get up, get washed, lock up the house etc and get himself to school).

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duckypoo · 08/05/2011 01:01

Poor you, that feeling of having zero funds, even if your basic needs are catered for is shit. Have been there and back again many times.

I worked for the NHS and they were pretty accommodating with start times, also bank work with the nhs is good although I have actually looked for that and they don't seem to be advertising atm (probably cutbacks).

I used to panic that I would need to get a taxi to A&E for example, and have no funds to do so .

We have not much left over after all bills, then clothes/shoes/entertainment/school crap all needs to come out of the small surplus, tbh we usually overspend, then the next month is in deficit grr.

I think there truly is a benefits trap, when I start work (planning on it when ds1 starts school full-time) we will probably be no better off (dp works full time min wage)

I will still do it, but I fecking dream of the day we will no longer qualify for tax credits. Can't even go back to Uni (£9000 fees and huge competition for the subsidised NHS courses [sad).

duckypoo · 08/05/2011 01:08

Also employers paying you a pittance expect parents to be 100% flexible, offering you different shifts each week ect, it's frigging criminal. They expect your life on a plate for about £6 an hour, no parent single or otherwise can offer that kind of flexibility.

I could have got a job ages ago apart from the fact dp works 4 days on 2 days off in a shift pattern, meaning he works different days each week, something no childcare provider is going to be able to accommodate.

Are tax credits all you are living off? Surely there must be something else you can claim.

Original poster

LostInSockLand · 08/05/2011 01:34

Thanks ducky, actually £6 an hour is considered a good wage around here

It is true about flexibility, when I worked in the local shopping centre before I had kids as I say, us fulltimers (YTS at age 17 on £31.50 for a 40hr week) all full timers were expected to do a later shift (to take it in turns) and we never knew our hours until the week before. Fine when you're 17..or not a mum but there's just no way I could do that now.

I cant claim Jobseekers anymore (was forced onto it earlier this year when my youngest was seven) they break their own rules, I was threatened with sanctions because I didn't apply for jobs with early starts that I can't do due to childcare...I explained this to them and spent hours printing out proof of every job i'd looked at..but they are a law unto themselves. There are special rules for lone parents but they dont adhere to them. I could appeal and probably get the money back 2 months down the line but if you live week to week you're in the shit basically. My claim is cancelled anyway now.

It sucks...but...i'm not a lone parent on benefit anymore (bitter lol emoticon)

OP posts:

Original poster

LostInSockLand · 08/05/2011 02:32

Cargirl, have only just seen your post sorry. I have one friend really who lives about three miles away so without transport there's no way we could have each others kids overnight

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Lovemelillady · 08/05/2011 09:02

Thats scandalous that you can no longer get benefits when you're a single mum. How awful of the gov to allow that to happen! When I went for my interview with the job centre I had the most patronising a**hole ever who told me to persevere and carry on regardless, he then added "I know it's hard having someone with a job telling you to get a job, but just keep trying".

He also gave me jobs that he told me needed NO experience when in actual fact jobs can now be so picky. It's near on impossible to get anything to fit round childminders/childcare without wkends, or low weekend work. There always seems to be a catch.

I, too, have the grand total of about £1.50 in my bank that's for spends, everything else is for bills that go out this week and next week before my dole money. It is so deflating. Just got to muddle through somehow. :(
I hope you get sorted soon. x

pickyourbrain · 08/05/2011 10:19

That is really sad and I have a little panic bubble in my throat for you

As an aside however, your 14 year old (unless Ive missed that he has additional needs or something) Is perfectly capable of sorting himself out on the morning.. he should alos have a job to bring some money in to the house, or at least to fund himself so that's not another cost for you.

How old is you other child?

Have you got food in?

CarGirl · 08/05/2011 13:15

I think you're going to have to let your 14 year become responsible. If he gets dententions etc for being late to school then so be it.

What were you doing at 14?

it sounds like you live in an area with few prospects so you're going to have to ensure that your dc realise they are going to be out working as soon as they leave school/college so I'd crack on with making them learn responsibility.

At 14 surely you would have been capable enough to walk a youngers sibling to school for 8am which would enable you to work? You can often set up very good mini cab rates if you are making regular journeys so perhaps you could get a cab to work meaning you wouldn't have to leave much before 8am?

Is it time to have a family meeting with your dc and explain the situation and ask what they would think about having to do x y z to help out?

Situation is still horrible for you though

Lovemelillady · 08/05/2011 14:11

How are you doing today Lostin??
Hope you're feeling better than yesterday.

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