Well that's it then, officially. Not a penny left in the bank.

[LostInSockLand]

Very scared, totally fed up. I could have gone to see a friend tonight (Haven't been out since January and by that I don't mean out out, I mean visiting a friend), I can't even afford to get to her house. Sigh. Any funny threads someone could point me to?

There are issues with the 14 year old which I didn't want to start harping on about here (that's for another thread ) but he most definately isn't capable of getting himself up, locking up the house and getting to school, let alone his sister. To be fair their schools are miles apart anyway. He is a good lad though, when he was 13 he was trying to get a paper round or something (and I didn't tell him to, he wanted to), he went in all of the local shops and they hadn't got anything...I felt so sorry for him!

After school childcare wouldn't be a problem for the little one and ds would be fine to let himself into the house, it really just is the mornings. Oh well, I just have to get on with it I suppose and keep looking!

Sorry, cross posted there. I feel a bit better thanks...it's always late at night when i'm on my own with time to think that it really hits me.

Im in similar position although I work in a relatively well paid job - though my rent is extremely high.

Once I've paid my rent and other bills I really struggle throughoout the month. Today I have 17p left in my purse and 10p in the bank!! And there is always something extra that needs paying on payday - birthday, an items of clothing or shoes.

It's fucking miserable.

I do have food in for tonight and should get cb and a small amount of hb tomorrow.

But tbh it's infantilising and quite degrading to live like this and I can't see it getting any better.

My exh pays me maintenance but doesn't see them as much as he should and I end up paying for petrol and food on the times when he should be seeing them which bumps up my expenses considerably.

He's pleading poverty despite going on a one week 'luxury' holiday before Easter and a weekend break to France last weekend. Then he's overseas for work this weekend.

I was just looking at pof and smooch (online dating) but think what's the point really - I did date someone for about six months a couple of years back but the lack of money was an issue - I didn't expect him to pay for everything but at the same time it was sometimes embarassing to say I couldn't afford to go out for a drink after work. He was a single man (alarm bells did ring as he was mid 40s and never married) and lived in his sister's house so didn't have the level of expenditure I had.

Foodwise it's like paying for three adults on one wage.

Don't think teenagers can now get employment until they are sixteen at least. My ds1 also plays sport at weekend so any job he got would have to work round that.

I wonder how it came to this - was predicted at school ot be such a high flyer LOL

I also think that unless you are quite rich it's hard to have decent standard of family life in the UK now.

working rules

I always dwell on things at night when I'm on my own, it's a vicious circle!
Do hope you get things sorted and things look up for you soon. :)

Get in touch with your MP regarding the benefits! You are entitled to the money to support yourself and your children while you are looking for work, and surely it should have been Income Support rather than JS with a 7 year old anyway?

I had issues with mine a while ago and it was dragged out for ages, I was getting nowhere fast with it myself and wasn't very well at the time either. I emailed my MP and it was sorted within days, all back pay sorted, paid and everything.

Shopping is so expensive now isn't it scl? I tend to try and buy from markets when I can, home bargains for toiletries etc and Asda on a late afternoon for reduced things I can pop in the freezer. Ds eats more than your average adult, he really is a human dustbin at the moment and he's certainly not overweight...I really dont know where he fits it all. They're pretty difficult to feed..ds wont eat anything "wet" (nothing with any kind of sauce), dd wont eat meat and I have allergies so some of my food is quite expensive. We never all eat the same meal so it's difficult trying not to waste food as I cant cook anything in huge batches.

Its JS now sjm when your child reaches 7 . I had an inkling this would happen when they first put me on it. I got in touch with Gingerbread who said I couldn't be penalised for having no childcare but it still happened. No point in me trying to claim something that's going to be stopped all the time and making myself ill stressing about it, I need to be well to look after my kids.

Actually you know what really gets on my tits is that i'm in this position in the first place. I had jobs at 14 years old, i've always worked. I've been made redundant four times since I had dd and now that I need help where is it?

Speak to your MP. They're braking their own rules and your MP can get it all sorted out for you :)

Go to the CAB. make another claim for Jon=bseekers, and this time attend every single interview they send you for, whether or not you can do the job.

When you get to the interview, explain that you cannot be there at the time they want you to be there, but you can be there at eg. 8.30

they will either employ you on the strength of that, or they will not employ you, buyt you will have fulfilled 'your side of the bargain' with regards to interviews for jobseekers. the job centre can require you to attend the interview, they cannot require you to lie.

God, i feel really guilty reading this - i am a lone parent who works 30hrs per week and i have a nice-ish house with a mortgage, a decent car and i can even kid myself that i can afford my horse! i receive enough tax credits to help me have enough for food on table, and all bills including car tax/insurance and a lot of petrol.

Although this will all change soon as i have lost my job and am actually 1k into my overdraft now i'm not receiving any more pay checks!

I know its not a huge help, but can you get an overdraft for your account?

I was going to post what colditz has

Colditz, they haven't sent me for any interviews at all, last time I was there whilst trying to explain why I hadn't applied for a job I told the miserable git "advisor" that if she could find me anything on her system I would happily apply for it in front of her...she tutted and changed the subject shortly before I was apparently dismissed. (Ignored mid conversation and waved away from her desk).

AGBU, I have an overdraft...i'm right up to it. CCCS have advised me to open a different bank account, very basic with no cheque book or overdraft facility as i'm going bankrupt as soon as I have the papers to send back to them (well debt relief order, much the same). Years ago I had to have a loan and use my credit card mostly due to cock ups made by the very people who were supposed to help me (like having to pay for months of childcare because tax credits were well behind on paperwork, or lose my new job because the nursery funnily enough wanted payment every week!) I guess I sound bitter...I am bitter

I'm sorry to be harsh but we have money and there is still no way i would cook different meals for my amily members! WOnt eat anything wet?! He will if he'll starve otherwise! At 7 and 14 they need to be taking responsibility.

I totally realise we all want to protect our kids and give them the best but you need to sort that out. Cooking 3 different meals is a complete budget buster!

At 7 surely he can walk to school with a couple of mates? even if only a couple of days a week.

A 7 year old cannot walk to school with a couple of mates if there is nobody in the house from 7.30 and you have to get yourself to childcare. the school would ring the social services if a seven year old was being left to do this alone, and that is an experience an acquaintence of mine has had, and she was 5 minutes from the school and fully supervising until the nearly 8 year old walked out of the door.

As for 'he won't starve himself' - he might. You don't know him.

pickyourbrain...i'm sorry I may have read this wrong, but you want my seven year old dd to walk to her school (45 min walk) with mates? She doesn't attend our local school 5 min walk (because it's shit and I care about her education).

and it's the 14 year old who wont eat "wet" food, he has special needs...really did not want to bring that into this.

I think it's hysterical that someone assumes your dc can walk to school at 7!! I give my dc loads of freedom but they won't be walking to school on their own until secondary because the route to primary involves crossing 3 roads on the rat run that all have blind corners - there have been lots of near misses on the adults trying to cross the road, let alone the dc!

Please go to CAB and find out your entitlement to job seekers and apply for jobs and go to interviews - tell them the hours you can do, you need that money and are entitled to it

Carry on pursuing the self employed idea, ask on freeycle for a working bike to keep down your own travel costs. I'm actually enjoying the lack of stress of cycling as much as possible rather than the battle to park.

Is your ds capable of being independent or couuld you be entitled to carers allowance for him?

Lost -- yes, my 15 yr old won't eat 'wet' food either and couldn't be left to supervise a sib or to lock up. Wonder if it's a related SEN?

I'm resigned to working from home for the present (and realise I'm bloody lucky to have that option).

LIS, does your DS get DLA for his SN? I have a DS 12 with AS and he gets DLA, which means I'm eligible for Carer's so I can still get income support instead of JSA. We get extra money on our tax credits too which really helps with the finances, and it's not dependent on his age, provided he still gets DLA (which has been awarded for the next 4 years). The jobcentre doesn't expect parents on Carer's to seek work as the DLA is a recognition of extra needs.

I didn't even know what DLA was until recently green but we are applying for it.

Fingers crossed he is eligible for it because it is having an impact on your ability to work.

I did say at the beginning if I have missed something and your 14 year old has special needs then my opinion is void, you didn't say he did so I assumed he didnt. I'm sorry.

Social services because of 7 year old walking to school?! Now thats maddness!! Lots of the kids do it round here, they go in a group with older siblings.

But granted, it's not a 45 minute walk! More like 10 so fair enough.

I'm in two minds here whether to be sympathetic or not. Part of me thinks much of your current situation is your own doing. At the same time you do have a shitty situation which you need help if you ever want to escape the cycle.

Firstly you ARE entitled to benefits yet you have seemingly given up after your "adviser" has cut you off. Now if it were me and I felt the other person hadn't followed their rules, I'd be all over them. Especially if it meant the difference between buying food for my kids or not.

Also, I know there's a huge crackdown right now to get people applying for jobs. And I think the key here is the word "apply". From what you've said and others have experienced, it doesn't seem "looking" is enough and they want to see application/rejection letters, see you going to interviews. I've no direct experience here but on first glance, it doesn't seem unfair to ask someone to "apply" for work. Now it might well be that everyone knows you are doomed to fail but at least the boxes are ticked and you get your money yes?

I don't know what's wrong with your 14 yr old, does he have special needs which means he cannot get himself to school? If so then are you entitled to DLA carer allowance or whatever it's called? Otherwise he needs to understand the situation you are all in and start stepping up. At 14, I worked in my parents shop every single night til 10pm after my dad got us into massive debt and fucked off disappeared. It was hard but I learned to be responsible.

Mealwise, why are you cooking them seperate dinners??? They eat what you give them or they starve. It's simple. I have 3 kids and if I cooked only what they all liked, it would only be chocolate cheesecakes! My DD(14) doesn't like meat, she'd apparently like to be a vegetarian (except she doesn't like veg either). My son hates veg and my DSS hates vary along with the wind. It must also cost you more to buy stuff for so many different meals.

You blame tax credits/nursery for your current credit crisis but didn't tax credits pay you back eventually? If so why didn't you pay the money off your credit card? If they didn't why aren't you chasing them up?

Lastly, you really need to consider moving your youngest to the closest school. Yes, it's not as good but you have limited choices here and this one is hindering your chances at a job. If that's truly your priority then tough choices need to be made.