would you be hurt if ex went to afganistan without saying bye to DS?

7 replies

IsElmoMaleorFemale · 05/04/2011 10:59

I cant help but feel terrible for ds, if my dad did that i'd be so upset, the thing is he hasnt seen him since he was 9 weeks old..so why did i secretly expect he would at least see him before he went?

please help me get a grip, ds is 18 months so hasnt got a clue anyway!!

OP posts:

DuplicitousBitch · 05/04/2011 11:00

sounds like you ar emore upset you didn't see him. you ds hasn't had him in his life anyway and won't care one way or the other. sorry you are so upset.

Original poster

IsElmoMaleorFemale · 05/04/2011 11:06

But thats just it, i couldnt care less about him. I certainly dont want him around i just think its really wanky of him.

OP posts:

dougaldo · 05/04/2011 11:39

I think that men just don't have the same tie to their children. I would have expected him to see your ds.... you just don't know what will happen over there.

I'm mad with my ex as he went on holiday (he told me he was going away for the weekend I've now found out he's gone to NEW YORK) and didn't tell the kids he wasn't going to see them. I had to tell them which was heartbreaking as they couldn't understand why he hadn't taken them.

cestlavielife · 05/04/2011 11:45

you say he hasnt seen him since he was 9 weeks old.. so why would he suddenly see him no - jsut to say goodbye.
makes no sense.

Original poster

IsElmoMaleorFemale · 05/04/2011 12:41

cestlavielife I guess i thought there must be a bit of him that deep down that felt how i felt about ds, and as dougaldo said, you just dont know what is going to happen out there...

Obviously not tho. Just think it sucks for ds.

Also dougaldo, ure poor dc, ure ex could have done or said so many other things to avoid them feeling like that. arse.

OP posts:

cuteboots · 05/04/2011 13:22

unfortunately there are some men out there who father children but can easily walk away wthout having a single thought/feel bad about it . If your little boy hasnt seem him for that long it sounds like hes better off without him in his life anyway. You sound like a lovely mum who can do so much better.

cestlavielife · 05/04/2011 14:30

well maybe better frankly - "your daddy was a soldier went to Afghanistan and was killed out there on active duty here is a pisture""
"why did he never see me?
"he was a very busy man"
grieve and end of....
(can hold onto a fantasy...)

better than a real recollection of a face and promises to come see him when he back etc. ?

wait til / if he back - if he realises out there the value of life/relationships with family hewill want to get in contact.

if he doesnt he doesnt.

his problem, not yours.

find other male role models friends,. uncles etc for your DS

Flip