Husband just left - what do you tell your kids and how do you deal with them?

[Montessorisam]

Hi there,

I have posted on here before. Well, my husband has left tonight. Feel slightly panicky but somewhat relieved that the bickering and crap is over. I have 3 kids (22 months, 6 and 9) and a 25 hour week job. Loads of juggling.

We told the kids today and they cried a lot. We have re-assured them that they will see daddy as much as they do now - he isn't around a great deal anyway. They seem fine tonight at bedtime. My 6 year old even excited about going to breakfast club. But then daddy kissed them goodnight and left afterwards.....

I am just worried that when realtiy sinks in that the shit will hit the fine for them. How was your experiences? What did you tell your kids? How do you cope when it's all going wrong - kids screaming at you cos they blame you!?

Hi,firstly,hope you are ok tonight.

When my husband and i separated at new year,we waited for a bit to tell the boys,we agreed to tell them together but then husband told them on his own .

Anyway,they were all fine about it!! no tears,no nothing!! i was both suprised but at the same time not as he works away alot so they used to being with just me,they are aged 4,6,11,16 and 18 by the way.

I've never had them screaming at me or blaming either of us,in fact it's been absolutely fine,i hope it will be for you too,best of luck x

Thanks for your reply. My husband worked late all the time and works every Saturday so they don't see him that much either.

Maybe it will be fine for me too. The atmosphere in the house has been terrible whilst husband and I have been shouting and arguing so I think they will be relieved that that part is over!

I am worried about my 9 year old girl. She can be a bit touchy and flip over the smallest of things and then when I am tired and stressed it is all fireworks. I just have to learn to stay calm. Maybe now he is gone I will feel less stressed! I certainly do already!

Thinking of you- i will be in the same boat in a couple of weeks as husband is leaving. My children and 7 and 9 and i am dreading telling them but, like you the tension has been awful while he has been here- we split up just before Christmas- so, in many respects the children, like us, will probably feel abit relieved.

All we can do is be there for them to offer support and lots of love and to answer any questions they have along the way- wishing you lots of love and all of the very best-

Also i found a great book last week that you may find helpful- i got it at Waterstones bookshop - Be A Great Single Parent- by Suzie Hayman- what i have read so far is very good and has helped me alot- it might be worth having a read.