how soon is soon for her new man to stay over?

[jj2020]

Hi All,

I' like as many opinions on this as poss PLEASE!!!

My wife and I are separated, (in process of divorcing) we split up around june. I have moved out while she is in the house with the kids and there has been some rocky times for us both but as splitting up goes we've been pretty good with each other for the sake of the kids.

She has currently been seeing a guy for the last 6 weeks and ive learnt that at around the start of the 5th week he has been staying over with our children there, waking up playing them etc.

I feel our oldest son who is 5 (6 in june) has struggled with me going. when ever he goes to bed he'll get upset and when I leave the house every so often will be hysterical, crying which is heart breaking.

what I would like to know from you guys do you think 5 weeks is to soon?? and what is the time limit, is there a time limit on him staying while they are there. My ex doesnt seem to think so and belives this wont be bad for them? Im sure he's a nice guy but does out son need this yet.

The other problem with this is that he lives 3 hours away and they find it hard to meet, so she wants him to stay. I said to stay at a hotel i'll have the children at our old place. Im currently sofa surfing and cant really bring them with me.

Thanks everyone

I think you are being very reasonable by offering her a way to see her new man by having the children so that she can and even considering her needing a break. A lot of people consider the womens feelings very easily but forget how hard a split can also be for a man, especially when children are involved, I can only imagine how hard it must be to know someone else is/will be involved in your childs life. (I am female so not taking sides here)

My instincts say that it is too soon for a new man to be staying over so soon after a relationship split but who am I to judge someone elses circumstances and how the children have took to the break up! I dont think there is a time limit and I must agree there is a lot to be said and agree with what others have said re. trusting your ex partners instincts and that she would not put her children at risk

Um Spero, try rereading the OP. They've been split since June. The op's ex has been seeing the new man for 6 weeks at the date of the op's post, which is dated Oct 1.

"She has currently been seeing a guy for the last 6 weeks"

The man has been staying since week 5, so even if they split at the end of June there's about 2 1/2 months between the split and him staying (the op doesn't say if he was introduced before week 5 but the op is about him staying over, or at least that's how I interpret it).

As has been said op you don't have the right to dictate when she can introduce the kids to someone new. Seeing as they've already met him then it might be more confusing for them now if he just disappeared.

think Reality has issue s mate obviously a man hater