How was your day today? Come share.

[BellevilleRendezvous]

Evening. I lurk more than I post, but I was thinking that one of the crappy things about being an lp is that there is no-one to ask how your day went each evening (though appreciate some partners might not have asked either!).

So I thought I would start this thread as a place to share the ups and downs of our days. I'll start.

I had a great day with ds (3.4), he was being really helpful and co-operative. I took him swimming then to the supermarket. He had a lunchtime nap and I did a massive cooking session for the freezer and to help out a friend with a new baby. Played a few games with ds in the afternoon. Fairly mundane but no tantrums (him) or shouty impatience (me) so definitely a good one.

How was your day?

I work in a Sch, pay is crap, but has been an excellent way to be at home with DC during their holidays without relying on childcare.

I have 2 DC, DS 17 and DD 12, so they are becoming more independant and don't really need me around much, but still like to be there for my DD.

However, my dilema is haunting me....DS will finish full time education nxt June. When this happens, maintenance reduces, tax credit reduces, child allowance reduces, but the crap sch pay remains the same!!!

So in 9 mths time i'm going to either have to find another part time job, or leave the sch to look for full-time/ non term time employment, when there isn't a lot on offer.

Sorry to sound all doom and gloom, just scares me from time to time!

Today I signed the tenancy for my new house. The one that was going to be my fresh start with DH. :(

DD1 was sent home sick from school and I'm not sure if she is ill or just unhappy.

DS threw things at me and DD2 because I turned off the xbox.

DD2 is miserable.

I think my date has gone off me.

Howzat?

Mummalish thats hard but if its Justifiable fear of an unknown future,financial matters will I cope etc rather than I have lost the great love of my life then you really will be ok. Although that wont change how shattering emotionally this will be feeling now.Keep posting and check out the relationship threads where there is tons of support and help.

Flame that sounds like one S* day , tomorrow has to be nicer.

Totally agree about fear of finding a job just have to think positively about it I suppose or you would sit a in corner whimpering

Dreadful day. Home sick with a bug which I thought would have gone but ended up going to doctor's. Ds just started in yr 2. Appalling behaviour at home. Made worse by me feeling so rough. He got told off by his teacher at pick up today (in front of me). I got told off by the teacher too . Got home and he is being a nightmare, so much so that I've had to take myself off to another room.

On top of this ex is hiding his income despite saying he wanted to resolve child maintenance behaving like adults. Has no contact with ds. Had to deal yet again with classmate of ds's asking ds (in front of me and his own mother) why ds didn't have a dad.

oh no bad days all round. sorry for all who are going through a rough time.

MollieO your ds's classmate sounds charming. assume his mother did not pull him up on his question?

Flamesparrow that must have been really hard, hope your ok. As for the date, I know the feeling. Mine says hes has alot on his mind thats why we havent met again, maybe hes telling the truth or maybe hes just messing me around.
Gettingeasier, the main problem I found with getting back to work was my low self-confidence, no experience (although lots of people said I had transferable skills) and the hours. So the first thing I did was go back to college to gain some IT skills, then I did some work experience in a local company after that it was just a case of applying to jobs that had suitable hours which were'nt many, anyway I got one in the end but the first week was really tough because of my self-confidence issues. Have you considered doing a course. How old are your dc, if they are under the age where you need to go on JSA, I would do all the courses you want, otherwise the jobcentre might not allow you to do a course if they think it irrelevant to the job you want to do. Good luck

Oh MollieO :( I had DD1s friend round in the summer and managed to get him to be all enthusiastic about having split parents. I'm not sure DD1 (or DS for that matter) have really accepted that this is it. To start with we told them DH was moving out for work, but I have explained since then that it is better like this and he won't be coming back as mummy and daddy get on better apart etc. I think it will hit when we move without him :(

I may be paranoid about the date thing btw - I am freaking out in general with everything.

(Just relaised I posted in wrong section, sorry wasnt trying to be unfeeling)- will get post deleted

She said something like everyone has a daddy. Ds had already answered that his daddy lives a long way away (he doesn't but easier for ds to think that than know the reality) but had seen him as a baby (once). Classmate then asked ds how did he know he'd seen him. Unfortunately ds gets this occasionally probably because although there are split parents the fathers all play an active and visible role in their sons' lives.

aww still good to share day regardless of section!

ah don't worry about getting it deleted Sancti!! what training are you doing/ hoping to do?

MollieO for your dcs. It is tough to have to answer questions like that - while split parents are pretty normal fare, anything out of the ordinary gets questioned. ds often asks why other people have a daddy and he doesn't (dh died when I was pg, obv I do tell him about daddy and that he has one but not the same as having one around is it).

Sorry though.

Social Worker: I have a couple of disabled kids and used to work for HomeStart, plus the MA is in autism so it seems viable. Childcare always been an issue though- I know you lot will get that! We're miles from family and well ASD and nursery settings sont mix so well; I am lucky in that DH will be working from home in 2 years so can do teh chidlcare (before you ency TOO much its becuase he was made redudnant so thats when he qualifies LOL- rocky road )

Belle gosh that must be so hard.

Have just come downstairs to find ds playing with matches (lighting candles). A first but really sums up my day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Thank you for starting this thread. Your day sounds lovely.

Miley I am on a 13 week job skills thing which I have just begun, its hard to say how useful it will be but everything helps. Also waiting to see if I am eligible to do the ITQ computer course but if I am I will need to do loads of brushing up to reach the required standard to do it !

I am 44 so no spring chicken but hey its not too late for world domination just yet

Belle and Mollie sorry at your situations, luckily my dc are 11 and 13 and know lots of single parent families.

Lots of bad days today then

Mine is just medium crappy. Lots of people pissing me off (builder who won't quote to name one) and lots of things not working (camera just gave up). Pissing rain all day and I have a messy house, two baskets of ironing and rice salad to cook for packed lunch tomorrow.

I have been very good at sticking to my diet though which I guess will be positive when I can save money by re-discovering my old wardrobe

Met DS2 on his way back from secondary school, I asked him if he was going back to mine. He said he would like to but his mother has told him he can't. He also asked if it was true I was taking his mother to court, I simply confirmed that I was still asking to see him on Tuesdays.

Waited outside DS3's Junior school, Ex insisted she was going to collect DS3, so slipped away before kids came out of school. Then drove back to work to make up some hours.

All in all a fairly crappy day.

blimey sorry to hear about all these less than great days. it has been grey and rainy here all day, never helps.

Tippychoocks I have given up on ironing. I have pretty much given up on putting clean things away in wardrobes and live out of the washing baskets instead!

MollieO - yikes re matches. ds is very into fire which I find a bit worrying. I blame my dad for showing him how to light a proper fire when we stayed at Christmas.

I'm watching the big bake off thing on BBC2 now - comfort telly! though it's making me want to eat biscuits and pies now.

good idea for a thread - was just thinking on way home from picking kids up from after school club how my life coul dfeel quite lonely if I had any energy left by the time I've got them to bed to feel any sort of emotion!

am exhausted!

we are dong a new rota where I do all week apart from thursday night and every second weekend. It was too messy otherwise having to see ex regularly during the week and deal with the implicit criticism etc.

anyway, sorry if tmi, just rambling really

anyway, after first week and a half of this rota I am shattered, utterly. I guess taking kids camping in teh wilds last weekend and getting very little sleep probably wasn't my finest ever idea!

still, thinking back to th ehorror of being in the house with him drinking and knowing he wasn't interested in trying to make things work...this is so much better

I am seeing someone too, which is nice. So he's texted tonight and am planning to see him on Thursday. Assuming I don't just fall asleep

hope you're all having a good evening

Reading through this thread made me want to sit down in a room with all of you, with a cup of tea, and give random hugs.

I would like to meet up with other single parents, in the flesh and gain comfort or just to chat. I truly do not know of any other single, heartbroken mum in RL.

jumpforjoy, I would love to work in a school, am not a teacher though, any advice?

Hope everyone is able to sleep well at night, because when you've had a bad day, you have a good night's sleep to look forward to, and the promise that "tomorrow may be better".

Hope everyone has had brighter days. Even if you've had a crap day, try and think of one small thing that was ok. Like a nice shopkeeper or a pleasant bus driver, or just the fact that it was a day of blue sky and sunshine. There's usually something good in every day.... bit Pollyanna I know, shoot me now!

I got organised, bit late, for my course which starts next week. Chores. Went out for coffee (enjoying freedom before studentdom overwhelms me). Just stuff but another good one here .

How was your day?

Had a really busy day at work so no time to think about him which is probably best.
DD told me shes been doing level A maths and got most of the questions right which is really good because she was struggling last year.
Finally sorted out WTC (I think) and should start recieving payments soon.
Mummalish, I would like to meet up with other lp too, I know a couple but they are the complete oppisite of me, really confident and their dc have got their dads in their lives, my dd has never met her dad.

Mummalish look on your local councils website for jobs in schools. I work as an LSA (Learning Support Assistant) in a secondary school. I would suggest looking at secondary schools rather than primary, as my contract is fixed, in some primary schools they renew your contract on an annual basis depending on funding and whether the child is still at the school.

I did have to go back to college to obtain my NVQ in Child development, however this may not be essential, but you may need to be willing to do so if asked!

Didn't mean to steal the thread....Good luck

Btw, I had a good day today, my DD didn't scream at me in that horrible way teenagers do, and we had cake for someones birthday..Did go for a run to work it off tho.

hooray for better days!

Miley10, meeting lps is hard. I have started a group here locally but so far it is a group of one. I only started it on Monday though, so early days ... though "single parent group" makes me think of About A Boy and the Single Parents - Alone Together (SPAT) group which is not the ethos I'm aiming for.

Kudos to your DD and A level maths. That's great she's improving. Good luck with the WTC, I still find CTC incomprehensible. I'm sure that in a couple of years I will be told that I owe loads of cash which I have, of course, spent.