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Anyone else feel this isn't what they signed up for?

82 replies

poshsinglemum · 31/07/2010 20:20

Or what they saw for their future when thye were little?
I love dd but am still grieving the nuclear family. I don't think I will meet anyone soon.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
jamestkirk · 12/08/2010 22:15

cool - i was going to sing it to you:o

secretskillrelationships · 13/08/2010 01:29

But we all need to let off steam from time to time. And it's true that people who haven't been there simply don't get it. And even people who have been there seem to 'forget' once they have a new partner.

I'm tired of doing the 'I'm fine' act, I just wish someone would acknowledge that life must be a little challenging with 3 DCs on my own. But no, I have literally no-one I can call on locally. The only people who call me are my mum and the ex (when it's all about him). Really! My so-called best friend has probably called me 3 times since I separated from my H a year ago. My sister has called me once in the last 3 months and I really can't remember when I last spoke to my brother.

And I have tried so hard. Since we split I have been to several parties by myself (the only single at one, the only single over 25 at the other), I got a job having been a SAHM for a long time, I've had people over and I organised social events for school and at home. But I get absolutely no-where. I am no further on in building a social life a year after our split. Doesn't help that i have sod all money and very little time and even then ex will change his plans at the last minute and bugger up mine. And I know I can say no, but it's the DCs that suffer if I do.

And to cap it all, the DCs arrive home moaning that dad's on the phone all the time. He's told them that since we split it's really important for him to maintain his friends! Well yes, but as I have them for most of the time and he left our entire social life to me to organise and as all these friends just happen to be women....

I have caught a very severe case of resentment flu and I don't know how to get over it this time.

elastamum · 13/08/2010 11:14

Resntment flu - now thats a concept I can identify with. Am in exactly the same boat as you secrets. My ex moved us all for his job just before leaving and I know no one around here. 2 years now trying to build a life here - no family or friends nearby - cant sell the house - so cant move back - work full time so always knackered. My ex also thinks nothing of trying to change arrangements with the kids at the last minute and wrecking any plans I might have.

It bothers me that most people would rather not acknowledge how tough life is for LP's, than ever reach out to them. Its almost as if we have a social disease they might catch if they got too close Sad

secretskillrelationships · 13/08/2010 17:42

I also can't seem to move and am still living in the house we rented together which is costing me more a month than I actually earn! I've been looking for about 8 months and have considered renting somewhere else just to move but there is nothing available.

Ex found a really nice place (but smaller and more remote than would work for me and DCs and still more than I earn!) and has landed on his feet with lovely neighbours and a babysitter nearby. He doesn't worry about money because when he can be bothered to start work again he'll be able to earn what I earn in a month in 2 days (at least so he thinks but having not worked for nearly 2 years he might be in for a big shock, which doesn't help cos it means I've got to make sure I can cover everything for me and DCs with absolutely no maintenance).

Oh god, does anyone have any suggested cures for resentment flu cos I'm really really suffering today.

jamestkirk · 13/08/2010 22:07

hi secrets - can't say ive ever had resentment flu tho do remember rage flu all too well as its never really forgotten. and now and then theres the odd reminder - latest is eminem and rihanna - love the way you lie.

as for a cure to the flu? the future.

backmeup · 23/08/2010 23:52

Love to hav a nuclear family, this idea being drilled into me since so high but I am well rid of mad ex, although I never cheated on him the last angry tex he sent me was...... etc etc etc u would always be a whore and my baby will be just like you etc etc etc...nice huh.

PickledPepper · 24/08/2010 18:58

I wish my ex would fuck off to Thailand for a while instead of being sat in my house pretending to be interested in his kids for his 120 mins on a Tuesday visit while i'm hiding out in my kitchen instead of screaming at him like he deserves. Angry

C U Next Tuesday!!!!!!

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