WWYD - move back to London or stay?

[thesungodra]

About 5 years ago DH moved out of London with our then 2-year-old. We’ve since had another child. We live in a market town about an hour away on the train - very popular with commuters.

I still work in London two days a week and my DH runs a business which would benefit from him being in London once or twice a week. He currently doesn’t go in at all and does everything remotely.

One of the reasons we moved here was to afford a bigger house, which we’ve now got. We also wanted to be nearer family. Unfortunately this has been a mixed blessing as despite best efforts we don’t really see them very often, and they certainly don’t help with the kids. In fact we have no support network now and it is very hard to find babysitters, nannies etc, compared to London where there was a much greater supply of childcare. We are however near an outstanding state school which our kids attend. The state options round here are excellent.

I now have a new job which is likely to require me being in London slightly more often - not compulsory but something I’ll probably want to do as I manage a big team and want to be around for them.

DH has never settled in our new location and has started talking about moving back to London. The kids are pretty settled in their school and have a lovely life with regular hobbies and outdoor activities. I am on the fence. I don’t mind the town where we live but find it quite boring, plus I hate the time, expense and inconvenience of commuting. I am not sure what to do. If we do move, we should probably do it within the next year to avoid bedding the kids in any further.

WWYD?

I would go back if your DC are young. I commute to London 2-3 times a week on an awful unreliable line and it’s soul destroying. I can’t move as my kids are teens and at crucial times but if they were little I’d be off with bells on!

And for teenagers. So much freedom on their Oyster cards, (no need for taxi of Mum and Dad as a constant Friday / Saturday night commitment). So much for them to do.

What is not so great these days for them?

And while there are local variations, by and large London's schools do an excellent job and London's results are the best in the country. £1.5m is a good budget to park yourself near a great secondary. If they do want a private school, then London has some of the best around as well (although £££).

I agree with not discounting zones 3 and 4, too. I'm in zone 3 and can be in Waterloo in 15 minutes so only ten minutes brisk walk from the West End. But I had a little look and if they do want something very central, there are tons of nice family houses with a minimum of 3 bedrooms in Zone 2 at around this budget. Obviously you'd need to pick a rough area and then scope out the schools but it seems very doable.

I wouldn’t say Chestnut is a great school….

I think you’ve listed more big positives to negatives to moving back to London. Are you sure in your heart of hearts you haven’t already decided and your only worry is the upheaval for the kids - who will adapt?

As lots of PP have said, unless you’re planning to pay, select your secondary school, and go backwards from there. And, if there are selective options, I would never make a cast-iron assumption that my child/ren would pass the 11+ - so I would be looking for excellent comprehensives.

It does sound like you’ve made up your mind to move back. I recommend that you move back sooner rather than later, because before you know it your oldest will be in Year 9, and you’ll be looking at GCSE options… and then you’re stuck until your children finish school.

Thank you for all the input to this thread, there is so much food for thought here. I will reread it properly tomorrow on my dreaded commute.

If we move back we are looking at South London for sure and likely south west. Possibly Dulwich/Herne Hill. I am drawn to Wimbledon or Twickenham and we have also been looking at Kingston (appreciate these are not central London locations! But commute time would still drastically reduce). I think starting with schools is good advice as that is the main advantage of where we are now.

Kingston and Twickenham are both lovely and both have good schools. I'd also suggest Teddington which isn't quite as good for the commute but has a really lovely high street. See also Ealing, East Sheen (also worse for commute but again good high street), Kew.

Herne Hill in the Charter catchment could be a very good bet.
Thameslink, London Bridge trains, quick bus to Brixton for the tube.
Fantastic parks, farmers market….