WWYD - move back to London or stay?

[thesungodra]

About 5 years ago DH moved out of London with our then 2-year-old. We’ve since had another child. We live in a market town about an hour away on the train - very popular with commuters.

I still work in London two days a week and my DH runs a business which would benefit from him being in London once or twice a week. He currently doesn’t go in at all and does everything remotely.

One of the reasons we moved here was to afford a bigger house, which we’ve now got. We also wanted to be nearer family. Unfortunately this has been a mixed blessing as despite best efforts we don’t really see them very often, and they certainly don’t help with the kids. In fact we have no support network now and it is very hard to find babysitters, nannies etc, compared to London where there was a much greater supply of childcare. We are however near an outstanding state school which our kids attend. The state options round here are excellent.

I now have a new job which is likely to require me being in London slightly more often - not compulsory but something I’ll probably want to do as I manage a big team and want to be around for them.

DH has never settled in our new location and has started talking about moving back to London. The kids are pretty settled in their school and have a lovely life with regular hobbies and outdoor activities. I am on the fence. I don’t mind the town where we live but find it quite boring, plus I hate the time, expense and inconvenience of commuting. I am not sure what to do. If we do move, we should probably do it within the next year to avoid bedding the kids in any further.

WWYD?

But would one of your carefully chosen areas be in the catchment for a half decent public school, or are you thinking the kids would go private if you moved back to London? If it were just you and your DH, I'd say move ASAP. But if the kids are in a good state school and you can't guarantee the same quality if you moved back, I would suck it up and stay where you are for now.

I think of you both want to move then great, London is great with kids if that's your bag!

The only place it might fall down is state schools! It's so hit and miss. You might need to find the school and work backwards.

It’s so interesting to see so many people talk about OP finding great schools. London in general has great schools which outperform the rest of the country.

I don’t think finding a good school
will be an issue for OP especially with that budget.

move back especially with your decent budget. London is amazing for kids and as teens my kids learnt it like the back of their hands. Even as young adults they’ve been able to move home, not have to rent until they’re ready and to take advantage of the wider job market. None of them have been mugged (said with trepidation as this could of course change)

If you cannot move to a good location suitable for schools and your commute to work, you may wish to move to a commuter town that is not so far away. I live in a popular commuter town which is half an hour into central London. Kids are all well versed with London and husband works there. In addition, we go in often for meals/ theater etc. The only negative is that if you have a late night and don’t want to get the last train home, Ubers are rather expensive.

With your budget you could absolutely afford a nice house near a decent school. I would move back. It sounds like you miss it and it will be much better for your children as they become more independent - more to do, and easier to go off and do it without needing lifts etc.

Seriously - where can you get a nice house near in good school in zone 1 or 2?

Hackney would fit the bill, so many childrens activities and lots of outstanding secondaries.

Why does it have to be zone 1 or 2?

It looks like you should move back to London sooner rather than later to avoid more disruption to the children's schooling. I agree with other posters to look for schools first, including choices at secondary. If you can afford private school perhaps at secondary onwards, that would greatly increase your options for schooling and reduce the risk of a London move.

Because that is the London they knew before the move. Living in zone 4 for example, is a different experience to living in Zone 1. I used to live in West London at the edge of zone 2- the travel time to Charing Cross was the same as from where I live now - which is a popular commuter town in West Kent

you need to move beyond "London" and think about specifics.
Hone down the areas that would tick all the boxes for you and see what that would mean in terms of house, schools, amenities and commute. and compare the 5y view as well as the 10y view.

Yes. No way you’d getting more than a garden shed (in one one else’s garden) for that in Zone 1!

Just move back. London is a great place to bring up kids and you have a decent budget.

I brought Dc up in London and it was fantastic . Great community built around everyone living within easy walking distance of the primary school, so much on offer, we really did do so many exciting things g interesting and free things every weekend.

Then brilliant arts projects for teens, good local scouts, weekend camping with friends for outdoors stuff.

It sounds as if you can afford a decent standard of living in London, can choose somewhere with good secondaries, I would do it like a shot!

But that’s certainly not the same from everywhere. I’m in zone 3 and it’s 30mins to Charing Cross, 20mins to Liverpool St. With 1.5mil they’ll be able to afford a nice house that’s an easy commute to the centre but is within London.

I think the closeness is what I missed the most when we left London. The local park was full of kids from school in the evenings and weekends. I hadn't factored in how much planning had to be done for my kids to play with their friends once we had moved. The playgrounds were pretty empty in the new place because everyone had their own gardens with swings, trampoline, slide etc. If the kids wanted to play it had to be arranged and planned between me and the other parent. In London we just went across the road and they would find someone they know and they'd play for an hour or so and then we'd go home again. I loved the flexibility.

But not the same as being on the tube and one coming every few minutes

Balham is full of lovely houses within budget, teeming with great primaries and Chestnut Grove Secondary is now very favoured.
Tube, main line, Waitrose, Big Sainsburys, loads of nice cafes and restaurants, Tooting Common (with Lido) , Wandsworth Common....

which town?

London is not the best place for children these days. I’d invest more emotionally in where you are than go through the upheaval again & end up regretting it another five years down the line.

What do you mean? London is fantastic for children.

I am pretty sure you could do it in Zone 2. I can't think of too many places in Zone 1 I'd want to live with children tbh. It obviously wouldn't be a big house but they don't need one.

Come back to London! Look at SE4

Our house in in zone 4. Sounds miles out, but in reality we’re 30 mins from Oxford Circus on a direct tube line. Typical London village; everything we need, green spaces, and great schools both state and private.

1.5mil is a healthy budget.