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Original poster

Would you leave London for the North?

71 replies

lking679 · 07/08/2021 21:57

Hi all, I’m originally from the north west. I have four siblings and the four of us who went into higher education all left my home town and spread about the South when we got jobs.
I remember about a year into my job I felt depressed and went to see a counselor she said to me... you’ve moved, have no friends and no family near you... of course you’re depressed but it’ll get better. I remember going into work on saturdays just to have people to talk to! It did get better though.

Now I have a young family and with new working from home rules I could move back North. My sister moved back and my parents are there. It’d be nice to have my family nearby whilst my children are babies and toddlers. I still feel lonely here sometimes. But... I’m worried the cycle will just repeat with my own kids.
I can’t help thinking I’d be doing then a disservice staying up there for more than a few years. I think it might be better in the South where they can have great job prospects whilst having school friends and family around them.

What do you think? Do you worry leaving London and the commutable suburbs of Kent.. Surrey etc... might not be good for your kids?

OP posts:
Shelddd · 07/08/2021 22:02

How old are your kids?

If you can earn the same up North or in London I think you'd be a fool to stay in London. Your quality of life will be so much higher. Your kids will make friends everywhere, there are lots of good schools up north and they don't need to move for their jobs until they're in their early/mid 20s and they don't need to live with you at that point.

PotteringAlong · 07/08/2021 22:03

I can’t help thinking I’d be doing then a disservice staying up there for more than a few years. I think it might be better in the South where they can have great job prospects whilst having school friends

And yet, every day, people north of Watford gap have both jobs and friends…

If you want to move, move. From what you’ve posted it’s not like you think London is the greatest thing since sliced bread!

Rhinothunder · 07/08/2021 22:05

I wouldn't leave. WFH won't look the same in 12 months

Meredusoleil · 07/08/2021 22:14

In your situation I would move back up North. My situation is different because I'm a Londoner born and bread, so have nowhere else to move 'back' to iyswim!

Branleuse · 07/08/2021 22:18

Id move up north if i could work there and had family and community to go to. Nothing special about the south

Original poster
lking679 · 07/08/2021 22:20

I’ve put in a flexible working request and my company has closed offices anyway they’re pretty happy I just come into the office one day a week which is fine, west coast mainline pretty fast.
Kids are 8 months and 3 years old. We’re thinking of renting out London home and going up north and then my plan would be to come back when eldest going into year 3 and youngest starting reception so in about 3-4 years.
My parents are mid to late 70’s and we might have another baby. I’d love to be able to pop round to my mums with the baby and have a chat. Something I’ve never had with the other two, just my MIL who drives me mad.

I know people have lives and friends up North but it was pretty awful for a few years in my early twenties moving far away from home and trying to create a life for myself in a big city. I’m not the most outgoing person but I couldn’t find any equivalent work up North and a lot of my friends moved away for the same reason.
I don’t want my own kids to grow up then be 200 miles from me because they’ve had to move away for work?! And how fun to be a teenager with London on your doorstep instead of one Wetherspoons and one Red Lion pub 😂.

OP posts:
Original poster
lking679 · 07/08/2021 22:24

It’s funny I’m mid thirties and have been in London since I was 21. It’s like having a split personality with both places feeling like home!

OP posts:
Shelddd · 07/08/2021 22:25

Your kids don't need to grow up in London... actually I'd probably argue that they'll have a better life if they don't.. they might need to go there after uni for their careers (depending what they do) but that's 20 years away! Who knows what will happen in 20 years.

DaisyWaldron · 07/08/2021 22:27

Where I live now, it's pretty common for people to go to university, work in London for a few years and move back when they want to have children, buying a big house with the proceeds of the sale of their London flat and moving into a job with more flexibility and a shorter commute.

Branleuse · 07/08/2021 22:29

If your kids all wanted to move to london later, why couldnt you go then?

DaisyWaldron · 07/08/2021 22:31

Because she wouldn't be able to afford anywhere to live.

NuffSaidSam · 07/08/2021 22:35

I'd maybe move North while they are primary age and then move South when they're teenagers. Being a teenager in London is great (although I'm sure it's great in other big cities too).

Or stay up north but advise them to do Uni in London and then if they stay in London for work they'll have a good social life/group of friends already.

Original poster
lking679 · 07/08/2021 22:37

@Branleuse

If your kids all wanted to move to london later, why couldnt you go then?
That’s an option. What happened with my siblings though is we all scattered across southern parts of Uk. If my kids did that might still end up hours away from any of them even if we moved!

Know I’m overthinking this and happy to go for a few years but in my gut just don’t feel it’s permanent because London is a great place to live with a lot more prospects!

OP posts:
StillWeRise · 07/08/2021 22:37

Noooo you don't want to move North its horrible here, always raining, you don't want to come here

and drive up our house prices

Original poster
lking679 · 07/08/2021 22:38

@NuffSaidSam

I'd maybe move North while they are primary age and then move South when they're teenagers. Being a teenager in London is great (although I'm sure it's great in other big cities too).

Or stay up north but advise them to do Uni in London and then if they stay in London for work they'll have a good social life/group of friends already.

Uni in London is a great idea actually! Move might not have been so hard on me if I’d done that.
OP posts:
Original poster
lking679 · 07/08/2021 22:39

I’m born and bred there... I claim citizenship rights to moving back up! 😂

OP posts:
GNCQ · 07/08/2021 22:44

My experience might not be "representative" because we still have a house in London, (which we rent out but can move back to anytime).

I must say moving North is the best decision we ever made.
Air is clean, people are helpful and kind, schools are good quality, I swear we have more friends here than we could make in London and the schools are so much better.

My mental health has improved and physical health also because we can go on good walks from our doorstep

If you can wfh it's a no brainer.

GNCQ · 07/08/2021 22:47

@NuffSaidSam

I'd maybe move North while they are primary age and then move South when they're teenagers. Being a teenager in London is great (although I'm sure it's great in other big cities too).

Or stay up north but advise them to do Uni in London and then if they stay in London for work they'll have a good social life/group of friends already.

Manchester university is one of the best in the country.
ChildrenGrowingUpTooFast · 07/08/2021 22:47

I wouldn’t because I’m not from the north. But if I am, I would. Living near your family with young children is a happiness money can’t buy. And the north isn’t terrible at all! It’s your home and it’s lovely,

ChildrenGrowingUpTooFast · 07/08/2021 22:50

Prospect in the north isn’t bad. Manchester is great and vibrant. There are lots of good universities in the north too. Manchester, Liverpool, York, Durham, Sheffield, etc.

Imgoingbackto505 · 07/08/2021 22:50

I honestly have no idea why you'd stay down south when you could live up north so much more cheaply, and be near family.

Bitterbean · 07/08/2021 22:53

I would go. At your kids age it's so nice to be around parents and get their support and company. If you rent out your house you can alway come back if you change your mind.

To the poster who said your DCs quality of life would obviously be better, however, what nonsense. I'm always so perplexed by the London haters on MN. London is an amazing city, full of culture, amazing food, parks and nature, and so many areas have a really strong sense of community due to the way London is more a series of villages. I've travelled well but not many cities rival London for quality of living.

NuffSaidSam · 07/08/2021 22:53

'Manchester university is one of the best in the country.'

I think you've misunderstood my point.

It wasn't that London universities are better, it was that if they are going to move to London for work (like the OP did) it makes sense to go to university in London so that you already have an established group of friends/social life. That way, you don't have the lonely, friendless bit that the OP experienced when she moved to London.

There are many excellent universities in the North.

Tealightsandd · 07/08/2021 23:07

Your kids are more likely to be homeless in London. It's the capital of homelessness.

I know the government's 'levelling up' will cause some problems up north - increase house prices, but I don't think it will level up to the same extent as London. Then again it depends. Super rich investors have started to buy up Manchester, but I think action will be taken before everywhere else in the UK gets as bad as London.

So yes I think, for a better quality of life I would move back if I was in your position.
It's different for London born and bred as a pp said. Particularly with growing anti Londoner sentiment whipped up by various political and media figures with an agenda.

AliMonkey · 07/08/2021 23:21

I suspect most of the things you think are good about London for teenagers are things that would be even better in a large Northern city - it’s much easier in my experience to be a relatively independent teenager in eg Liverpool or Leeds than in London. You’ll have the benefit of being able to afford larger home (or have smaller mortgage) and being near family and friends.

I moved between North and South for the first 20 years of my life, got a job in SE (despite only applying for jobs at firms with offices in north) with intention of staying only a couple of years. But then I got settled, made friends, married a southerner and am still here many years later. Our life is here but I still volunteer for any work opportunities back in the NW (eg meetings, conferences or secondments) as I still miss it - it always feels like coming home when I get there.

And whilst some industries have more job opportunities in the SE, many don’t so there’s no reason to believe your DC will end up needing to move south for work. And even if they do, despite southerners being more reserved / less friendly to strangers, most of them are decent people once you get to know them!

So go for it! Don’t make choices now just because of how you think things might be for your DC a long way into the future.