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Reception at our prep school seems a little underwhelming? Normal?

75 replies

notanotherunicorn · 21/09/2021 18:28

Dd is at a prep school in reception.

I'm just wondering if this is a normal prep school experience or whether we could get the same or better at a state school? Or a different prep? I think because it is a prep rather than state my expectations of the school are much higher.

I decided on a prep as I thought it would challenge dd more as she can already read and decode (I taught her phonics because she was ready and interested) and can do basic writing and subtraction and addition etc. She isn't a genius but she is a quick learner and bright and keen and is happy to sit, work and concentrate. She would probably enjoy being in year 1 but I'd rather she was just doing work that was stimulating for her, for which there is no reason to be out of her age group. I also thought at a prep the class would move faster as there would be more able children generally.

She has been given homework about the numbers 1 to 5. Do I really need to do this with her? She can already write and read 1 to 5. The teacher said 'she's learning how to count to 10.' Erm...what? She can count to 100 and recognise numbers like 53 etc in print form. She can count out a whole bag of sweets and tell me how many are in there. And count in 10s and count backwards from 20. She knew 1 to 10 when she was 2. She can certainly count to 20 without getting nervous or whatever. This doesn't seem particularly remarkable either, lots of children in any state school class should be able to do this already. This is a class of 15 pupils and they don't know anything about my child? Or are they just giving the same work to everyone regardless? There are areas for learning of course, she doesn't always form her letters in the 'correct way' when writing i.e starts from the wrong place although the end result is the same, sometimes gets her S back to front etc but counting was not one of those areas.

She wants to learn, not play aimlessly all day, she loves structured activity i.e sitting and playing a board game or a craft challenge. She loves imaginary play but she says she is bored and all they do is play with 'baby toys', they don't have 'real puzzles' apparantly either, she easily does 200+ pieces as I would have thought many children can at a prep school at nearly 5?

I would home educate but she likes school and I like having time to focus on my business more, although I'm not convinced it is the best thing for her learning at the moment. I don't need child care so I can't see it as just expensive child care, in which case I'd like the flexibility to take her out two days a week and have fun learning about history at national trust properties etc!

In what year group is phonics largely obsolete from the curriculum btw? I'm a bit unconvinced by modern phonics teaching, my eldest is dyslexic and it really damaged her ability to learn, we scrapped it for a different system and that help enormously. Youngest dd understands and uses phonics to sound out and recognises word patterns and sound patterns, she doesn't rely on artificial pronunciations, english is not all that phonetic. But the teacher's methods seems to be unlearning her, she is starting to doubt herself and trying to read individual sounds slowly and without blending for words she already knew by sight because 'that's what my teacher told me to do.' The way phonics is being taught seems incredibly regimented and not at all organic and responsive to the individual child's learning pattern or what they already know.

It would be alright if the school was going for a holistic learning approach or something that would stretch her in other ways, lots of forest school or hands on activities and learning through doing etc but I'm not seeing anything like that either unless playing undirected with lego duplo is stretching? She plays with classic lego at home and follows the instruction manuals, they have nothing like that at school.

Also they don't teach science until year 3? Is this similar in state schools? My dd loves science activities!

I don't see prep as some sort of status symbol and I imagine most parents choose it like I did to ensure a good standard of education, especially as the state schools in my area are poorly rated and it does seem this prep gets them to selective independant schools and grammar schools (although that has changed a little recently but that is more likely due to a few of the independants opening their own preps) therefore I assumed the school would be able to quickly work out my dd's strengths and advance her learning in lieu of me having to do it at home. At what point do they put the effort in to get them into these schools? Do they ramp it up over the rest of the year so by the end of reception the average child is working ahead of the average state school child? It seems currently she is learning nothing new at all. Or do they not make an effort until years 5 and 6? I'd rather not stick it out if that is never going to happen. If the parents are doing all the work what is the point? I would rather find another prep that can give her appropriate work or a state school and save the money.

It is still early days and parent's evening is a long way off. Should I arrange a meeting with the class teacher about the direction things will be going in for the rest of the year and the mismatch in the homework to dd's abilities? I chose the school because I wanted my daughter to build on her existing knowledge from the get go so that if we had to move for work to a selective prep area (i.e london) she would be off to a flying start with 7+ or if down the line we chose the state secondary that she would be working at a future grade A level not a C level (average expectations for the year group) when she transfered. Is it still too early days to draw any conclusions about the school? Even if it seems to be sending her backwards or doing less she was doing at home? I do feel very in the dark about what the direction is at the school and for dd in particular but felt the same at elder children's state schools so I don't think being in the dark about their learning is unusual.

Of course taking her out and home educating her just runs the risk of her needing to prove herself down the line but as it stands if I change her to another school any record going to another school will say she is learning to count from 1 - 10 and reading level 1 phonics books!! That isn't representative of her at all.

They spend some afternoon time watching T.V / cbeebies at least 3 days a week. We rarely have screen time at home unless it is minecraft (at which dd is a whizz) or something educational or a family movie at the cinema/weekend etc so I'm really not happy about this happening regularly on school time. It feels like a very expensive netflix subscription given the fees. They are watching disney movies, hardly educational unless they are discussing themes and meaning in the movie which I think is unlikely?

I do like of course that school is teaching them to line up and be independant and follow rules that are different from at home. Dd is too gentle natured not to do what she is told anyway! She is that child that is teacher's pet at school and saves all the stubborness for her parents.

I did a PGCE for secondary teaching years ago before deciding I was too much of an introvert and prefered being a SAHM and running my own business so I have some inkling of what goes on in school but at secondary level I was very involved in teaching the subject syllabus and it is very different to primary where there seems to be more of a team effort. I would like to be a fly on the wall in the classroom to get a better perspective on it all as it seems the children have surprisingly limited contact with the class teacher except for maybe about 30 minutes of the day when the teacher instructs the class on the morning 'work'. Almost all the learning is done with a teaching assistant, is this normal? Purely curious. The teaching assistant does seem to be lovely and switched on and I expect she is perfectly well qualified for the role of course but is she assessing dd during these activities because I haven't seen much evidence of it?

The one good thing is that they read 2 books a week with one to read over the weekend. The problem is again that all the books are at the same level for the whole class and extremely basic. At Dd1s state school they only read 1 book a week and they read the same book to their teacher that they read at home so this is definitely an improvement over the state experience. What is the normal practice in this respect? Is this a prep school thing and an area the school is doing something better or do some state schools do this?

Do individual learning goals come later? Do they try to get everyone up to the same standard and then move at a faster pace than in a state school? Or am I not getting what I thought I was buying, i.e a slightly more academic more 'year 1' level of individual education for dd?

With covid it was very difficult to see schools to compare as most cancelled their open events. I also think the prep school prospectus was slightly misleading. Of course if I did change her it would cause disruption so I wouldn't want to do it lightly.

I am helicopter parenting but as I said, if I wasn't paying for it (in the hopes of Dd being given ability appropriate work) or if I saw prep as a status symbol I wouldn't be as bothered perhaps.

OP posts:
notanotherunicorn · 21/09/2021 18:30

She can already blend phonics. The teacher is telling her to say the individual sounds. A little bit strange.

OP posts:
KleineDracheKokosnuss · 21/09/2021 18:32

Reception doesn’t really vary regardless of school. Mine is also being taught to count to five Hmm. Which she can already do, in more than one language. She can also read already.

I’m viewing it as a year for playing and learning to deal with being in a class. But I’m not paying for it this time around, which helps.

Littlefish · 21/09/2021 18:35

Is this your child's 3rd or 4th week of school?

You sound ridiculously over anxious and over involved.

Reception is about so much more than just phonics and maths.

notanotherunicorn · 21/09/2021 18:35

OK, that is reassuring to know! Or not as perhaps we should have skipped pre-prep and gone for the state option.

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notanotherunicorn · 21/09/2021 18:37

What else is reception about?

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notanotherunicorn · 21/09/2021 18:38

My dd is already very mature for her age, autumn birthday, I think she would have been fine going straight into year 1 now tbh.

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notanotherunicorn · 21/09/2021 18:41

One of my other children was the opposite however, summer born, dyslexia, would have been better off in the year below (in fact she did just that at a private school and she is now thriving and meeting all the expectations.)

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Lifeishitsometimes · 21/09/2021 18:42

Bloody hell that is a long post. It's your money. If you're not happy then send her somewhere else. The fact it is fee paying will make no differencw unless it is highly selective i.e. interviews reception kids and parents and does tests with them. Rich kids can be slow developers too...

N4ish · 21/09/2021 18:42

Reception is about emotional development and regulation, learning to share, interacting with other children etc. Even basic stuff like putting on shoes and changing for PE. All meant to set the children up so they’re ready to go into year 1.

Slagertha · 21/09/2021 18:43

There are more children than just yours in the class, they have to start from the beginning to cover everything for children that might not know anything. At that age, children aren't grouped by ability. They're learning the structure of the school day. Whilst it's frustrating this is just the way it is, my dd has just started reception and they're also going over things that she already knows. X

notanotherunicorn · 21/09/2021 18:44

Why is it so hard for teachers, in a class of 15, to give individual work?

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KleineDracheKokosnuss · 21/09/2021 18:45

Tbh I wouldn’t pay for it knowing what I know now. A girl in my eldest class could read and do basic maths on arrival in reception (pre prep) and was bored rigid for over a year until the rest caught up.

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 21/09/2021 18:46

Because it’s not a case of there being a need to just do a bit of extension. Your dd needs an entirely different curriculum.

DoThePropeller · 21/09/2021 18:46

Reception is about more than what they learn with numbers and phonics, it’s following rules, building relationships, being in a class/part of a school etc. Year one comes with a big step change in behavioural expectations and stretching work.

They should be doing differentiated learning but it may come after half term. First half term of reception tends to very much be about building confidence and settling in.

You could always move her back to a state school if you don’t want to pay for it, it’s only three weeks in, it’s an easy age to move them.

notanotherunicorn · 21/09/2021 18:48

So for some children they may be better off starting later when the work is more differentiated if there is parental need to have them in school? It genuinely seems to be impacting her confidence to be assumed ignorant, as I said she is mature for her age and she really thinks about things.

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Curlysusie · 21/09/2021 18:48

You either need to speak to school or home school her. You're obviously not happy and seem to know better? Reception levels are pretty standard and it's only the first term. Even if they set different work it would not have started yet.

notanotherunicorn · 21/09/2021 18:48
  • if there is no parental need, sorry.
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ketchupman · 21/09/2021 18:49

Ultimately you know she can do these things OP but she's not going to sit and tell a teacher that this stuff is below her level, they are still trying to work out where all the children are. I'm surprised that they are even getting homework to be honest, our prep didn't start that until year 1 or year 2. It doesn't sound like the best prep from what you've said.

I would chill out a lot though, what's the rush to do all this stuff? I think a lot of people would wonder what they are paying for in reception but if you see the fee increases in later years you will see it is more a way of hooking people in, a lot of preps it costs less than full time nursery for reception.

notanotherunicorn · 21/09/2021 18:49

I don't know better, I'm just really disappointed this is the best the education system can do. Not surprise we aren't world leading.

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User5827372728 · 21/09/2021 18:49

Wow I’m impressed she gives you so much feedback. My son just started in reception and all he will talk about is what pudding they had that day!

notanotherunicorn · 21/09/2021 18:50

But I did successfully home educate one of my children up to year 9 and I am a trained teacher so I do know a few things.

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RandomMess · 21/09/2021 18:50

Was this a non-selective school?

snowballer · 21/09/2021 18:52

It genuinely seems to be impacting her confidence to be assumed ignorant,

I think you're projecting a bit here - I really don't think a 4/5 year old has these thoughts.

Mymapuddlington · 21/09/2021 18:52

Beat the education system can do? Really, we start them so young here.
Reception (and life) is about more than work. It’s about socialising, life skills, making and building relationships, figuring out how the school works, what’s expected of you.
It’s about the teachers finding out about the kids, what levels they’re at, their personalities, who needs a bit more encouragement and who is independent.
I hope you don’t put so much pressure on her at home.

ketchupman · 21/09/2021 18:52

It probably isn't the best the education system can do though, like many you've assumed that because you are paying for it.

My youngest DC has just started Reception in a free school and the standards are no different to the fee paying school our other DC went to, except if you look very carefully at things like lunch provision and other bits around the edges.

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