come on pomepy people lets get together!!!

[dustycups]

have been on here 5 years and only meet one pompey mumsnetter, really need a meet up!

Oh Dolphin I'm ssssooooooo and for you feeling like this.

You are a GREAT mum to ALL the dc's in your care - nothing else matters. You ARE her mum you know that and so does she.

Sending you VERY un MN hugs - and a virtual bottle of wine

off to your thread.

Thankyou mumbar. I will add that wine to the real stuff I'm drinking.

LM I posted in adoption and fostering. I'm just having a general moan in fostering.

Hi Dolphin, Im going to post here as it is more a personal post and think it should be on our personal thread.

DD knows YOU as her mum, DH as her dad. I know you say she has contact with BM but IME LO's don't fully understand the implications of these relationships.

(EG DS knows he has a Nana, when we met her a few weeks ago he hadn't seen her for a year, new she was his nana iyswim but kept calling her 'she' or her 'name'. Was calling her nana by the end of the day but not in the same way MY mum is Nanny iyswim, and he doesn't speak to her except Christmas either)

I mean seriously if the BF cannot see that his letters are entirley inappropriate for a 3yo let alone anything else then hopefully SW can get him to understand.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks mumbar SW isn't very nice she didn't agree with us adopting DD. I am going to insist that all the letters are monitored by the adoption team.
I do accept she had birth parents I have no problems with BM but he is just so bloody inappropriate. . And I suppose like any mum I am very protective of MY dd.

Good to get it off my chest here. Feel I need to be a little more PC over in adoption.

SW didn't agree with you adopting dd? Thank god it wasn't her decision then. BP are BP BUT HE NEEDS to remember when he agreed to adoption for dd to have a mum that that came with her having a new dad. I'm not discounting BF feelings at all but you and I both know these are NOT overnight rash decisions.

I'm tempted to ask who your social worker is (I know a few from round here) but as not appropriate tp post on MN I'll ask nest time we meet. TBH I'd be asking for a decent SW before I did anything else Do you have the same one for DD and adoption as FC as well?

How is FDS btw is he off school?? OH and you had appointment today to this was probably just the icing on the cake wasn't it?

How did apt go?

Hi dolphin sorry bloody search did not list that as a thread for you only listed foster care one and this one probably explains why it confused me as did not seem to tally with what you had put on here.

Can you give me first initial of sw e.g Name begins with D just so I can check it not somebody I know as I know 3 in your area and if not I can ask advice for a friend without giving anything too specific e.g.

My friend is a foster carer if she feels placing a child with her would be detrimental to the other children she cares for is she ok to say no to a placement. I will tell them you live over here too so there is no way you could be linked if you want me to ask let me know.

Your dd is very lucky to have such caring parents and you are giving her a great life.

Appointment has been changed to next Wed because dh is working away and I just couldn't manage to get all the children to the right places by myself. He is going to school.

I have a differant SW for fostering she's lovely. Adoption SW is a bitch but don't tell anyone I said that .

How's your DS now.

Its under adoptions entitled Am I BU?

SW is based in Havant hope none of you know her. I worked with her several times with other children and got on well. She just doesn't agree with foster carers adopting and can be very abrasive. When I told the SWs we wanted to adopt DD most were very supportive. She just went "oh for gods sake, well you had better lose weight then". I was a size 12 then (have piled it on since ) cheeky cow. She then put in the adoption report that I was obese. Doctor on the adoption panel was very surprised when we met because of what the report said.

I'm saying no to the 12 year old, bless him. I spoke to his present carer tonight he said he was willing to keep the boy for another 3 months so I'm sure they will find someone else in that time.

Hi dolphin no don't know any in havant but know 3 in gosport

Glad you sticking to your guns hope the fc finds somewhere that can nurture him soon.

now I want to know who you know . Must have a get together.

meet up would be good

think you should all come help me sort out my hellhole Saturday seriously though we need a mums only night end of month I reckon what do you all think? what about a wedgewood rooms comedy club?

Sounds good to me

Off to bed now speak soon

wedgewood rooms next comedy club friday 17th september costs £8 ticket don't know if that ok for everybody they sell food there as well between 7:30 and 9ish when comedy starts

Yes must have SW chat as obviosly I know/ have met lots working in care /education capacity.

Lovin the idea of mums meet if I can get mum to have DS

hey girls, having the night from hell, have nearly just had to call an ambulance for xdp and now have 2 kids awake due to the noise and me having to clean the whole house (really dont ask) and help xdp get a bath. had only actually just dropped off as feeling really low.
no more sleep for me tonight i think!

dolphin soo that you get made to feel like that, but she is yours, you r her mummy, you r the one that is bringing her up with tons of love. that dont make sense does it but you no what i mean and it is heading for 4 in the morning xx

night out definaltly needed!!

Oh Dear Dusty not a good night then

have had an hours sleep and dd only went back to sleep at 6. i have no idea how i gonna make it though today!

DS1 to school, DD to nursery and sleep with DS2!!!!

yep to ds1 to school, dd still in bed and leaving her there as xdp here will kick him uo to listen out for her and think ill take ds2 to his playgroup to escape and drink coffee then home to sterilise the whole house!! eeek!

have a good day at work!

Oh Dusty :( hope today's better!

Dolphin - I posted on your AIBU but I'm not sure how helpful or coherent I was I was adopted when i was 6, so I only know how i felt about it all and I didn't want to post that on the adopion thread because I'm not that comfortable talking about it with random strangers :) But if there is anything I can help you with...

stray thank you I hope I havn't said anything upsetting to you.

I'm ok today I completely understand birth dads feelings. Just think he could control them better for LOs sake.

I've been asked to take 2 girls today age 13 and 15. No problem with that except I only have 1 free bed and it's sharing with a 5 year old boy .

I said no, they are so short of foster carers it's ridiculous.

stray thankyou for sharing about your adoption it's lovely you feel comfortable with us to do that. You can talk about it anytime you like and not if you don't want to.

Dolphin I think you are doing the right thing. Your FDS needs a lot of care at the moment, you've had a young baby who was hard work care wise, and you are right that if you can't offer the FC what they need then its almost robbing Peter to feed Paul to take them in.

stray just read back what I wrote, what I meant was any information you give us is confidential, I will not ask questions but you can say what you like, discuss what you like etc.

mumbar wanted to say the same thing to stray but couldnt work out how to put it so thankyou!

im very very tired!

dolphin sounds like you have enough on you plate without taking on two teenagers!