December locals chat

[mellow2]

New thread as the other one is not going to last long.

CoV - even more reason for you to come out one evening on the razzle with us eh?

QC/SFX my friend used to work in a care home, full of BME children who couldn't get adopted due to lack of BME adoptive parents, so they spent their childhoods in institutions instead, being looked after by white carers

...I think its really important children have access to the culture from which they are descended, in some way or other. But surely if you live in a big city, you will have that access anyway - through friends, faith groups, language classes etc etc (or meet up groups, like the one you attend QC). I don't see why it has to be through the parents ethnicity, as long as they can demonstrate an understanding of the child's cultural issues...

OK will stop ranting now. My mini beast can now crawl upstairs at the rate of a small chubby whippet!!

Lol at Foxie's ds, I can just seem him climbing up the stairs! Ds now refuses to let us carry him down the stairs any more, but at least he comes down on his bottom!

Btw, anyone dcs suffer with dry skin? If so head over here and offer me some advice! thanks

Night night (yes I know its 10.30pm on a Friday night but I have no life!).

Ros, there was a news story saying she could come back, then there was another saying that wasn't so. If I was Fran i certainly wouldn't believe a word they said - to me or anyone else.

anyone going to buy in the Boden sale? there's a top I want for dd but I'm not keen on paying postage for just one item.

there's actually heaps I'd like to get for her but they've virtually nothing in her size

there's a Boden shop up opposite Park Royal station on the A40 can't you ring to see if it's in stock and I can get dh to pick it up for you on the way home from work one night as he passes by it.

KC - you have pointed out some good reasons why we are going to have a good think about it. It's not just me and dh adopting, it's dds and ds so a family decision. Mind you, they'd love another sibling.

The FranLyon story horrifies me as I experienced nearly the same mental issues as her and can't get health insurance because of them (although I'm probably the strongest person you will ever meet now). If SS had been aware of me when I was pg with dd1 then I'm sure she would have been taken away from me. Some 40 years ago, SS wanted to adopt me and my 2 siblings (splitting us up) as they thoght a man couldn't look after 3 kids. He fought through the courts for custody and eventually won.

Foxie - I've never had experience of a couple as lodgers but the thing I'd be wary of is two men in the house and you know how they are about their territory. I've seen it when our APs have their bf's to stay and they sit in dh's seat and drink his beer. But then I've had a one AP and her bf who I could have living with me tomorrow, if they wanted. Can't you offer them a trial to see how things go?

MrsR, thanks for the offer but it's probably a bit of a mission and it's only one little t-shirt. I really want some more of their stripey fleece bottoms but they're not selling them in her size at the mo. guess i might have another look on e-bay.

sorry to hear about your past. mental health is such a taboo subject and there is such stigma attached to it which IMO prevents people getting the help they need. it almost seems that those who seek treatment end up being punished for it like Fran Lyon and your not getting health insurance etc.

luckily H's life insurance pre-dates his depression however it would be impossible to increase it now or take out another policy.

glad for you that you're thru it and so strong now.

no probs pc - good luck with your search.

Oh I meant to say I held a 6 day old newborn yesterday and she was georgeous - so tiny - it was hard to remember ds at that size/age. Don't they grow up so quickly?

Can't do meet-ups today as I'm working (or meant to be!). We've got a major server migration over to India and I hope it works otherwise I'm here all weekend.

Foxie - do you know anything about the Barn nursery?

hello chaps
how you all diddling?

yes, that fran lyons story is outrageous. for a 22-year-old, who's been through what she has, she sounds exceptionally 'together."

like you, MrsR, it's made her a stronger person.

obviously kew's the expert here, but will never understand the 'logic' of children being with white carers for most of their lives rather than placing them with parents of a different race. All a child cares about is having someone to hold him, love him and put him first.

paddle - wd be up for some cinema outings/any outings. does your new abode feel more like 'home" yet? it can take a while, can't it?

went visiting some cousins haven't seen for yonks yesterday. it was a hoot. amusing to realise we are now the 'mad auntie" generation. love it and it's a role - along with embarrassing mum - i intend to fully embrace over the years

toodlepip

fran lyon even...
and, kew - unless schools supremo foxie knows differently - think barn nursery v.good. got a few friends whose children have one there and have been very pleased with it.

kew, but please don't send ds on a tuesday...dd would be gutted!

good afternoon all

LOL at chubby whippet

I slept till nearly midday then went jogging, feel like a new woman. dh and dd out somewhere - lovely

dd told me last night she wants us to have a baby so she can look after him 'you know like foxie's ds2' this quite out of the blue
well we will do our best.

my former sister in law fosters children with her new husband, her mother used to do it as well. she is still quite young but since her second child 4yrs ago she is unable to have her own so she choose to foster.

mental health is a seriously misunderstood, years ago when I was working with people coming out of big institutions to community placements the horror stories would give you nightmares, truly tragic in some cases.

anyway up for evening meet ups for movies and any other grown up time quite welcome too

have a nice saturday all

steppie - am investigating pre-school nursery type places so not until Sept earliest and that probably only Friday morning then Mon or Tues morning as well form Jan. I'm hoping I will persuade CM to do pick up and drop off as it is so close [hopeful emoticon] and its only 3 hrs.

Have pretty much decided that Asquith is too expensive - they will only do 5 hr sessions minimum at £32 per session and for 51 weeks a year. Richmond (from Jan 09) will only fund 38weeks at about £8 per session. As Barn Nursery seems to be £16, it would only mean funding about £16 pw rather than the £170 a month for Asquith and that would mean taking DS out of CM for a day which I'd rather not do at the moment as he is so happy there.

DS didn;t nap yesterdy and didn;t sleep until 9pm then woke at 6.30am! His nappng and sleeping is getting worse and worse and I htink he is on the slow road down to dropping his nap so today... took the little bugger out to Kew, ran him ragged and held off putting him to bed until 2pm when he was almost asleep - will only let him have 1.15mins max and see if that imprved his bedtime.

forgot to say I have bought 2Cute Kew membership. Will pass it on to her this week.

QC thanks for getting 2 cute's membership sorted out

Barn Nursery has very good reputation and I know one of the staff (lovely woman). Everyone I know who has used it loves it.

Wouldn't touch the after school club at that church but that's a whole other story.......

I would get his name down - its a good location - 'twixt you and CM.

MrSR - I didn't know you had such an interesting history. That explains why you are such an amazing strong woman

SFX - do you feel like a new woman? I feel like a new man...anyone know where I can obtain one LOL!! I think your DD is so sweet - very touched she talks about Mini-beast.

Hi everyone else, including Steppy that "Mad Auntie"

Mu friend came round today and did a Steppy - looked after Dc's so I could get stuff done. Needless to say I went shopping.

MrsR - yes thats astute to think of the male territory thing, I hadn't thought of that I am a bit territorial too.

MrsR et al - can you give some advice here?

I have a lone parent coming to see the room tomorrow. Any ideas as to what I should be asking her?

I feel I need to check that:

1 she is actually working and is good for the rent
2 That her ex is not a nutter who will come round banging on the door
3 That her DS is "normal" i.e. I wouldn't have to worry about leaving him with DD and DS2

I can check the first one by asking for proof but need to think of a diplomatic way of asking about 2 and 3.

DH also pointed out that if she went into rent arrears, I would find it hard to evict her 'cos of her DS (not legally, but morally) and that might be an issue.

MrsR - anything else you think I should ba asking her (given your experience of lodgers) ?

Cheers M'Dear

foxie LOL yes, tempting to consider that one, new year and impending end of his 30's not a good mix

dd got back home with a bleeding fat lip, poor thing, ice lollies seem to have helped making her feel better

don't really have advice on lodger apart from the fact that it probably needs very sensitive handling and honesty on both parts, I guess you will get a feel for what is going once you meet.

KC - that stage between naps and no naps is pretty trying, dd dropped hers early and will only very occasionally have a short one, I find giving her some quiet time during the day helps to keep extreme tiredness/ crankiness at bay without actually having a nap.
she usually sleeps from 8/9 to 7.30/8.30

and thanks for sorting out 2cute's membership

naptime delayed worked fine but he was still awake at 9.15pm. Wouldn;t be a problem if I didn;t work but he needs to be up at 6.45 latest most mornings. It also wouldnt be a problem if he weren't so tired! from 7.30/8pm to 9pm ish he just whines and cries but won't go to sleep. TBH honest him crying on and off for an hour is doing my head in... I'm even contemplating reading a book about it - any good ones recommended?

sorry Foxie haven't heard anything about the man. Will let you know if I do.

trying to give DS "quiet time" is like playing chess with a tiger... an interesting idea but slightly difficult in the practicality!

morning all

had a lovely family afternoon yesterday with h and the sds. we went to watch chelsea play QPR and it would appear dd is a footy fan! she was shouting and cheering and singing and dancing and clapping the whole way thru!

was fully prepared to be leaving at half-time as thought she'd be over it by then. otoh sds's were quiet as mice and not at all interested

if we can keep this kind of pleasant activity going then it will look good for keeping things amicable.

kew, The No Cry Sleep Solution is a very good book and probably worth a scan thru. I am finding dd is going to sleep later too for some reason. She's in bed by 7pm but I am in and out for up to an hour before she goes off.

she's not really crying but yelling for a cuddle/drink/teddy/kiss/leave the door open/blanket etc. i could try leaving her up later but she's tired and cranky too and no fun so better that she's at least in bed and lying down!

she's waking too early too but i think i've figured this out this morning. her night light is casting shadows on the coat on the back of her door and "frighty" her! will be moving that tonight!

steppy, flat is definately feeling more like home now.

wrt to pre-school i have to pay CM for the whole day that dd even tho dd is at pre-school for the morning. this is because cm can't find another mindee for that 2 hour slot

it's only 1 day that i am paying "double" but i am also now paying 1 extra day per week for cm and a pre-school session where DM would have been doing it for free. am wondering if i have made a good decision here financially

foxie, how did the lodger go? no advice but agree it is a pretty sensitive situation and has potential for things to get complicated.

must take down xmas tree today!

Oh Dear Mini Beast kept me awake half the night . Feel all fluey again. Brave DH has taken the 3 DCs out so I can rest.

MN is rest